[Roberta]

I believe the cause of my initial sleep issues had to do with general life stresses and some challenging family relationships. I believe my insomnia now is more a result of my worries & fears regarding sleep (or lack of it), a low sleep drive, and a sensitive arousal system. It’s been about 5 years that I’ve had insomnia on and off but the past 10 months the frequency increased and entire nights of insomnia started. I’ve been on different medications and am trying to taper off them now. (I feel most medications stop working at some point and start working against you). I found Martin searching through Podcasts and am seriously considering his 8 week program.

[hiker]

Hi Roberta, it sounds like you are making some progress. I realize that might sound incongruous: you’re having trouble sleeping, so how is that progress?

But you have recognized the difference between general life stresses, family hassles, etc. (aka situational insomnia) and sleep anxiety (worrying about sleeping, regardless of external life events). And you have learned that no sleep med provides a permanent solution. And that situational insomnia can eventually resolve to some point, maybe just acceptance that this or that family member is difficult to deal with.

But what are you supposed to do about worrying about sleep itself?

It comes down to thoughts, whether you can observe them without necessarily diving in and getting swamped by them. And Martin’s program could be the way to go for you.

Part of the thought mess for me was (and still is, sometimes) about goals. It’s one thing to have a goal like completing a course of study, or building a house, or doing research to make a sensible purchase. Take building a house. You need to know about soil, concrete, how to use tools, electrical components, and when to hire professionals for specific tasks.

None of that works with sleep. Barring sleep apnea which is detectable via sleep study, sleep just happens. You can’t map out a plan. You can’t make sleep a goal. This can be hard to remember when your mind is scrambled from lack of sleep.

No one sleeps great every night. When I have a rough night, maybe a few in a row, I try to get to a place where I can say:

—–I’m having the thought that I am anxious about sleeping, that I am getting frantic and despairing about it. I’m having the thought over and over that my life is a disaster;

as opposed to:

—–I am frantic about not being able to sleep. I am despairing about it. My life is a disaster.

Believe me, I know it can be hard to see the difference when you are really blitzed from not sleeping. And if you feel like giving up, try to be easy on yourself. You are not alone in this.

[Roberta]

Thanks for your reflections and support. The idea of observing my thoughts rather than being defined and held hostage by them is a practice I need to…well, practice! The concept seems similar to what I’ve read and learned of Buddhism. I appreciate the concepts I’ve learned from following Martin Reed. Because at this point I’m still taking medications, ideas such as sleep restriction are difficult to implement since doing both would seem to creat dueling forces….at least, that’s my perception. Would you agree? To me, regardless of the medications, I’m committed to learning as much as I can about the mechanisms of sleep and the thoughts & behaviors that can either help or hinder it. It’s helpful to be in a forum and read the experiences of others. I also appreciate having supportive therapists and the reinforcement of CBT-I strategies. Like everyone here it’s been quite a journey. I’ve been to the depths of despair over insomnia. And although I still have bad nights (more than a few) I feel like I’m heading in the right direction. Thanks again for your thoughts.

[hiker]

Hi Roberta, and Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays…

I can’t speak to weaving sleep restrictions in while taking meds. I suggest you consult with Martin on that, and with a pharmacist regarding the half-life of whatever meds you are taking, ie. the proper way to taper off the meds, if you decide to go off them. As you have already discovered, they are not a cure-all.

As for watching your thoughts, it does take practice. Reading about it; watching videos and listening to podcasts about it; talking about it with knowledgeable, caring people–all good. But you still do have to practice. And it is something you can do while taking or tapering off meds; or doing sleep restrictions or whatever. The thoughts never stop. They are zipping through our heads. We can choose to practice observing them, rather than just getting buffeted about like a dinghy slamming into a dock in a storm.

Finally, I have noticed that even if the thoughts popping into my head are not particularly pleasant, better to step back and view them somewhat dispassionately rather than just getting swept away in hopelessness.

Take care, it gets better.

[Author]

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