[Dan10780]

I am new to not sleeping. It started within the last month. I am 41 years old and have always slept good my whole life. Until this last month there has been lots of sleepless nightsand tossing and turning. I think it happened cause I was going to bed all different times of the night. I get off work at 9:00 and sometimes I wouldn’t go to bed till around 11:30, then I would push it later till 2am. During covid I was told to work remotely. So now I was given more time back. I didn’t have to go to drive 30-45 min to the office everyday. Before I had structure. I knew I had to leave the house by a certain time and wake up by a certain time. Working remote just have to shower and walk to my computer and start working. I love it but I think it took the structure away which took my sleep away. I was now going to bed when I felt like it and waking up when I felt like it.One day I just couldn’t sleep. It came out of the blue. I had a few nights in a row where I got zero. I called off work thinking how am I gonna get through the day like this? I started to look for solutions to the problem.searched the web, took warm baths, bought sleep aids, essential oils, teas, went to see a chiropractor. Of course the problem is still here. So as the videos suggest you really can’t make yourself sleep. We as humans are accustomed to fixing problems when they come up but it’s true we can’t put ourself to sleep. As though those things I did were relaxing I am still not sleeping good. I have took a step back and thought about it and I think too much. I was letting this consume me. Over thinking about how I can fix this, how am I going to function at work, will I be able to deliver quality work? Will this create health problems? It just went on and on. Calling off work didn’t help matters just put the problem aside for a bit but still had to work when I got back. Still have to hold a job. Now I’m taking a step back and saying ok obviously I cannot just fix this issue on my own. I can’t force myself to sleep but life doesn’t stop. I still have the job I have to do everyday sleep or no sleep. I have friends and family still there. I can’t just put off life, which is what I realized I was doing. This problem won’t be fixed tomorrow so I need to continue to live life sleep or no sleep. I figure If I let that stress go that I was putting on myself then my body will give me a better chance to sleep. I got to the point of having panic attacks I was over thinking too much. Everyday just thinking about what I could do to fix this issue. It really is true you can’t force yourself to sleep. Yes you can take sleep aids and they might put you to sleep but will you stay sleep? How long will they work for? I have tried them and found they don’t always work. If you awake earlier than you wanted to than issue still not fixed. So now I’m taking a different approach. I’m not focusing on how many hours Of sleep I got e each day, trying to limit thinking about this everyday. I will say it’s tough cause you feel exhausted and sucks to feel this way but you can’t make yourself sleep. The trick is to take the stress away. By not focusing on it your body will feel less stress and you will have a better chance of sleeping the way you want. I got to the point of having panic attacks and I have not really had those. That surely isn’t gonna get me to sleep. So I realized I need to chill and live my life. The sleep will come back and I will feel normal again but in the meantime I can’t do anything about this. I can’t make myself sleep. Tired or not tired life never stop. Yesterday I took a walk as the weather here. I came back relaxed at home and got 4 hours sleep. My body just gave out at one point and was just dozing off. Granted it was only 4 but it’s proof that your body will tell you it’s time to sleep. A couple days before that I had zero. So out the pressure off you it’s not your issue to fix. It will ultimately work itself out just gonna take time. I wish everyone a nice nights and then some really soon!

[hiker]

Hi Dan10780, wow, it sounds like you are really going through the mill right now. No paragraphs, just a long stream of stuff racing through your head nonstop.

It sounds like you intellectually understand what is happening: as you say, you find yourself “letting this consume me,” and you know that you are overthinking this. Great, but how to stop, right?

You talk about how you’ve lost a sense of structure, like lots of people have during Covid. Checking out Martin’s sleep plan could help bring more order, less craziness to the whole process. And this also involves realizing how much our thoughts can carry us into a sense that this will never end, it’s just a rabbithole of not sleeping and nothing works and how am I going to get my work done, etc.

Slowing down sounds trite, simplistic, and how are you supposed to slow down? I dealt with insomnia for decades (doesn’t mean you will at all, I had lifelong trauma to address)–my only point here is that no, insomnia does not have to last forever and yes, it is possible to slow down and watch your thoughts roar through your mind like a raging river without having to fall in the river and carried downstream for who knows how long and who knows where. A couple of sites you might want to check out: palousemindfulness.com and mindful northwest.com

Thinking is great for solving specific problems like wiring an electrical device. Step-by-step is the way to go. Again, as I think you know intellectually, it does not work for things beyond our control, like “how” do I sleep.

This can take a while, and even now I have nights of ragged sleep. But over time, I find that I don’t freak out about it, at least not as much as I used to.

Take care, you are not alone in this.

[Author]

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