[Emilynnp]

I just enrolled in the free emails. And I’ve been working on my very fragile nervous system, which has been severely dysregulated, leaving me very weak and exhausted and emotional and waking up several times every night… No sleep medicine has been able to overcome it

I feel like my brain is trying to get better but I feel like I’m having hourly micro arousal or my brain is just checking to make sure everything‘s OK and I’m trying to figure out how to let go or ignore it or teach it that there’s nothing to be on high alert about so that I stop waking every hour. And maybe that’s gonna come in future emails, but would love advice.

[hiker]

Hi Emilynnp, if I hear you correctly, your brain seems like it won’t turn off so you can sleep. And the more you focus on it, the more active it gets.

I wish there was a way to turn off the brain at night, much like you turn off the lights in your bedroom. But it seems wired to keep going. I suppose it is good that the brain is active in case something happens, like a sudden fire hazard. But for the most part, it just seems to just get in the way of a good night’s sleep.

As you go through the emails and read various posts, you will see that lots of people go through this. Some people decide to just get up and read or do something else they enjoy–can’t sleep anyway, so why not? Others decide to just lay there and acknowledge there is a struggle going on, and decide to stop struggling. Who knows with our brains, it’s a computer and we all know computers can get wacky.

Personally, when my mind is swirling, I try to watch the thoughts zipping through my mind, and to label them as just thoughts. I have discovered that my defenses seem to be down at night, so it’s then I am most liable to get God knows what thoughts popping through there. Lots of times they repeat, for no discernible reason. Nothing to make note of on a to-do list for the next day, just old useless junk which I’d rather not hash over again, but here it comes again, and again.

I have abandoned the idea of ever controlling my mind not to think about whatever thought pops in there. Instead, I just let it drift through. For example, what about the time a work colleague chewed me out for not being more assertive on a court case we were working on. And it turns out she was right. I label the thought:

—I’m having the thought that I blew that case, that I should have been more assertive and done a better job. I’m having the thought that I was so worthless, I am worthless now, what a mess I have made with that, with my whole life……

Labeling the thought, as above, is vastly different than buying into the thought, e.g. that it must be true, I am worthless etc.

Maybe your thoughts are more worrying about what could happen in the future, as opposed to ruminating about the past. But I think the same analysis applies. We tend to take thoughts too seriously, like they are the gospel truth, when often they are just junk floating through our heads.

I hope you stick with the forum and can pick up ideas from lots of people. We might have different approaches, but we all know what insomnia is like, that is for sure. You are not alone.

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