[Stringthinghd]

The past two weeks have been terrifying for me. I’ve fount myself falling into this cycle of stress, emotional panic and sadness. I fount myself struggling to fall asleep by myself when I was pushing myself to meet my strict sleeping pattern. I would make sure I was in bed and ready to sleep from 9am till 6pm after coming home from nights which I had been doing for more then 15 years. This strict pattern would become a nightmare to keep to, no matter how hard I tried. This was of course the start of my mental problem. Was I not tired enough? Was I trying to go to sleep before I was woken by a neighbour? It became an obsession. I was sick of going to work half full, feeling tired and fatigued from not getting the 7-9 hours that I had set for myself.
I eventually came to the decision that working nights was no longer for me. Everyone else around me was enjoying the day whilst I was wasting all my personal time desperately trying to make sure I had enough energy for work and losing every opportunity to live my life.
I took the first step to reclaim my life by making the decision to move my job to the daytime. That in itself was a scary thought because of how long I’ve been comfortable in my nightly shell.
I’m still telling myself that maybe my body clock is still in a loop of trying to adjust to my new life change. I meet a certain time during the day just wanting to scream because of the pressure that my body and mind want to sleep which is exactly what I want, which I’m feeling the agony of not being able to switch off my mind allowing me to fall into slumber as easy as I always had. But now I’m stuck with only going to bed as late in the day as I can to help give my body clock the adjustment it needs for my new life.
Now I feel I might now have no life ahead of me. Is everyday going to be like this? Trying to keep myself busy through the day trying not to think about how bad the next night might be. Will I have a massive panic attack? Will I desperately ring any emergency number begging the person on the other side to give me the help I need to knock me out? It’s scary as hell.
I have sleeping tablets from my GP reminding me they are not the perfect solution and they will only help so much. I’m talking to different people seeing so many different bits of advice, though now I feel every bit of advice is nothing more then just a part of one big script that everyone has been told to follow no matter what. I’m trying everyone of these things though nothing helps.
Keeping myself relaxed during this is obviously the hardest part. Outside I’m pretending to be okay that nothings wrong but inside I’m crying. Please help me.

During this hard time though I have been reminded that I am of course not alone. Which is why I’m here. There are apparently millions out there going through the same problem as me. Very likely others are suffering more then me. It’s only been two weeks so far and I have seen that people have been or are suffering for months even years which of course in itself is terrifying.

My GP told me that a lack of sleep will not kill me. I would like to think this is true l, but for someone who has suffered with anxiety my entire life and strong bouts of depression for not having the happiest life up until this point, these are not exactly the words that I want to hear from someone who is supposed to be there the help and protect me and give my the advice I need to get me better.

“There is no magic pill etc”

Despite this I’m still telling myself I’m not alone and that there are others that can help each other to fight through this problem no matter how long it takes which again is why I’m here.

Any advice or comforting words from others just like me is I think a good way to help each other get through this.

Two ways that I have discovered for myself to help me sleep is to think of hopefully accepting that this is going to be my life for a while, and to try and live my life as best as I can. Another timely process but hopeful it will eventually work.

And the second is to relax, leaving the tv on, not too loud and dimmed. Having on a programme that you feel relaxed too, Or maybe even boring. Put on a face mask, closing your eyes and focusing only on the voice coming from the tv. Taking in every word and feeling more relaxed. The next thing you know your waking up several hours later not even realising that you switched off. This has worked several times for me though you of course have to be tired to a certain extent I think to get the best out of it. Then when you do wake up, don’t try and force it again as this will bring back the frustration, keeping you awake again.

I hope this might help someone else as it is a possible possitive start for me.

We are not alone. We can get through this together.

[Martin Reed]

There are so many huge insights in this post — I think all the answers are already there, they might just need some teasing out!

As you mentioned, it’s helpful to recognize that:

1. You are not alone.
2. You have control over your actions.
3. Your actions determine the kind of life you live.
4. Insomnia and anxiety don’t feel good — but they cannot be controlled.

If we can end the battle by no longer exerting so much effort into trying to avoid wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that come along for the ride we might have a bit more energy and feel better able to engage in actions that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live, even in their presence.

The more we try to control what cannot be controlled, the more we struggle and the more we get distracted from the actions that help make live rich and meaningful!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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