[Needtosleep]

Hi everyone I’m new here and I’m quite distressed atm. I developed sudden insomnia 4 weeks ago after not being able to sleep for 2 days straight. Not sure what the trigger is as I didn’t have anything stressful going on at the time. I’ve now settled into a pattern of sleeping 6-8 hrs a day and 0-2 hrs the next day. Reading up on Martins material and insomnia has really helped my mood and reduce my anxiety during the day so I’m really grateful.

However In the last few days I’ve been sleeping ZERO hours every second days because I’ve started getting anxiety at around 5-6am when in the past this was the window where I could at least doze off a bit. I feel like my rational brain understands hyper arousal and anxiety and the reasons behind it but my body is just conditioned to feel anxiety and hyper arousal and won’t let me sleep. Has anyone been in my situation?

[Needtosleep]

I’ve tried sleep restriction for a night where I restrict my l good night’s sleep to 6hours but the next day I felt so anxious the whole day and still wasn’t able to sleep the next night.

[Lozelise]

It won’t last. After some time with insomnia your brain eventually begins to move into acceptance. You may still struggle, but it will be much better and sleep will always return. You’ll see that pattern even with people who don’t implement any strategies such as getting out of bed when not sleeping, sleep restriction etc. They may continue to struggle, but eventually you will move into an acceptance phase and things will improve to a degree. My favourite thing to remind myself is no night is the same, some days and weeks I’ll sleep well enough and then I tell myself im not an insomniac, just someone who has sleep difficulties from time to time.

[Needtosleep]

Thanks for your reply Lozelise you have given me some reassurance. I’m so glad that you’re doing well now. I’m sure you’re right but right now I’m in the thick of it and it’s so hard to remain rational. I’m desperate to get even one hour on the days that I don’t sleep as even 30mins is better than ZERO. I think that’s why I haven’t been able to get any sleep at all on those days as I’ve been so desperate. I went on a holiday last week and was able to sleep everyday so I know I can sleep, just something has clicked in my brain.

[Luke45]

Needtosleep, please take Lozelise’s advice. I was about to offer the same.

To echo Lozelise and drive the point home, here is a quote from a doctor with the AMA about acute insomnia:

“Acute insomnia, whether you are given a medication for it—that is, a sedative to help you sleep—or not, does go away in weeks to months, usually less than three months,” said Dr. Rosen, even if you do nothing.”

That’s why it is important to not “stress about it and keep your routines like you always have, and the insomnia is likely to resolve,” she said. “Certainly, some people find this distressing. If it’s a reactive insomnia—for example, if someone died or there’s a major life stressor—some people find it a lot better to cope during the day if they have gotten some sleep at night, but either way, the brain corrects itself.”

You’re not alone. It is normal, and many people share in this issue. It is part of the human experience.

With sincere love,
Luke

[Martin Reed]

This video might be helpful, too: How to stop the sleep roller coaster and make sleep more consistent and more predictable.

I wish you all the best

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[angelic]

Hi,
How was your recovery and how are you doing? Thanks for posting and starting this thread.

Love,
D

[angelic]

Hi Luke,

Thanks for this reminder. Can you post a little about your own recovery, thank you.

Love,
D

[angelic]

Hi Lozelise,

Thanks for this reminder. How are you doing now and thank you for posting,

D

[Luke45]

Angelic,

I have been sleeping normally since October of 2023.
My bout of insomnia lasted about 3 months, which is the typical upper end of duration of it for most people.
It was very severe in that I was only getting about 10 hours of sleep per week and add to that I had a pretty physically demanding job at that time.
I learned a great deal about simply accepting that certain things are beyond a person’s ability to control, and namely that anxiety is a feature of the human experience, not a defect. Martin’s advice to thank your anxiety for keeping you safe (which is its function) really really helped. It seems counterintuitive but if you make peace with your anxiety, allow it to blanket you, or in other words submit to it, it departs. The distress of anxiety comes from trying to resist it.
I haven’t thought about this forum in almost 18 months. Thanks for reaching out, and let me say, you are going to be fine. There is nothing for you to overcome in this situation. By doing less fighting you will adapt and then normalize. This is a process of adaptation and integration. You can only satisfy that process by not fighting back. What better place to be passive and accepting than in a warm comfy bed? Tell it you surrender and tell it thank you. Do not fight back.
I love you as one who has been where you are. I know how scary it is. Peace.

Luke

[angelic]

Dear Luke

Thank you so very much for replying. I am so glad to hear you feel this peace and are looking back at the experience as over. For me, it’s been about 5 or 6 months and I am in the middle of a painful major life stressor which I realize my brain is relearning to sleep through again, the stressor that triggered all this does not need to resolve in order for my sleep to return.

I had originally found the original post about “every other night” because that is the sort of pattern I seem to be in, but I know the healing is not linear and these nights will fill in.

Did you have any patterns as you started to recover? Anything that stands out. Anyways, I am so thankful to be writing to you right now as someone who knows what I’m experiencing.

With Love,
Angelic

[Luke45]

Angelic,

As I started sleeping normally again, I went through a few rough nights here and there for a while, and then one rough night per month and since then basically none, or very few.

For a while I kept up with my nightly mantra of thanking my anxiety, and also internal statements of gratitude (for things like friends, family, food, shelter, basic things).

Now that I’ve integrated my anxiety I need to address it less and less because I have also adopted behaviors which quell it. I live fully in the moment as much as humanly possible. I literally remind myself that while events have occurred in the past and will occur in the future, I can only ever physically be in the present and I can only directly control a small number of things.

This has made me pretty humble, and that is counter to my nature. I may have needed a humbling event to keep me stable.

As for any new pattern, aside from the above, I never go bed until I’m struggling to stay awake, and I always wear a sleep mask. You literally can’t open your eyes with one on. For some reason that helps. I’m not “in a room”, I’m under the mask, which makes everything feel like it’s gone and I’m in a quiet void. That’s a bit metaphysical, but sleep is a mysterious state of consciousness.

Are you feeling better during the day now even if sleep was iffy? If so, that’s a sign you’re integrating things and normalizing.

Luke

[angelic]

Yes, I am doing more things on iffy days. I understand and feel what you mean about the grace, gratitude and the humility involved in relinquishing control. Today, I had to cancel a brunch plan to go to a meetup in NYC and make new friends, and it was frustrating feeling. I’m starting to make plans and looking at the pattern of on / off days Every second day – but I know I need to schedule things for the supposed “off” days and keep seeing all as OK.

I don’t use a sleep mask but I do use ear plugs most of the time as I did before this all started. I feel like I’m in recovery mode because there have been many days where I am no longer thinking about sleep or looking things up – that said,

I returned to the original poster because I saved this thread a while ago, hoping to connect to someone, feeling like I want to schedule things and can’t fully commit to anything because some days I have not been able to barely function.

– but on other days I have surprised myself by being able to work with the yucky feelings and feel like, well I know I’ll sleep again soon because I have slept well some nights in this past month. I know I am recovering.

I have learned sleep is a passive force – which no one was really saying in the medical community. I love that you said Do not Fight back.

[Luke45]

It really does sound like you’re turning the corner. I’m glad for you.
I take it you live in New England. I’m in Nova Scotia. Kinda sorta the same neck of the woods. Shame we aren’t local. I like making new friends. We could share scary stories about how it feels to be two weeks into an insomnia trip lol (nothing better to do than laugh at it, after all).
I used to use earplugs back when I did shift work, but I also have tinnitus, and the plugs just amplified it too much. And even though I don’t use sleep ritual anymore I do need my sleep mask. I bet I look really cute in it haha
Message me on here anytime.

Luke

[Luke45]

Oh also, I went to a singles mixer event here in Halifax when I was in the throes of my insomnia and connected with a woman who was there. We dated for about 6 weeks. Honestly I wasn’t much fun to be around because I was so weirded out by how I was feeling, but it was ultimately a good thing because it got me out of my shell. The insomnia didn’t lead to the breakup (I made her aware I was having a rough time right up front). We just weren’t a good match ultimately.
I would recommend doing those things you can do, and just ignore how you feel in the moment. Have the experience.
I could really go on about that, but I’ve gotta run for now.

Luke

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