[sleep]

I am retired and would love to be able to sleep late. Thank goodness I am getting 6 hours in but on a different schedule than I would like.

I go to bed at 12 and sleep until 5 or 6am. I was looking forward to retirement being able to sleep in but since I got insomnia 2 years ago I just dont sleep as good. I am thankful that I am not tossing and turning all night.

I have tried going to be at 12ocock, increasing it in 15 minute intervals, I have went to bed at 1 and even 2 am. No matter what I do I wake up at 5 or 6 am. Any suggestions? I think Chee told me once to ignore it and it would take care of itself. Maybe that is all I can do. Oh yes, I have tried napping and not napping. Nothing works. I can get a lot done early in the morning, but I would rather be sleeping! It is just so weird. Any suggestions on how I can sleep later especially weekends?

[Bronte]

Hi Sleep

I have exactly the same problem. I always wake up between 5am and 6am. Occasionally it’s 4.15am and I can’t get back to sleep. I have had severe insomnia for more than 40 years (I am also retired now). I had a very stressful career and I longed to be able to lie in and not get up so early. It’s taken me about 18 months to come off medication to help me sleep. Martin’s techniques have helped me more than anything else I’ve done, including CBTi. Initially after stopping medication I was barely sleeping at all. Like you, I am grateful to be getting 5-6 hours.

Regardless of when I go to bed I always wake up too early and I then get very tired early in the evenings, which is annoying. Sorry I don’t have any answers, but maybe someone may have some ideas. I don’t analyse this situation and I just accept it but it is still pretty annoying if I think about it.

Good luck to you and hope things improve for you. You are not alone with this problem.

[sleep]

Bronte, thanks so much for replying. I have read your other post these past 6 months and learned a lot from you. My goodness, 40 years of insomnia. I have only had it 2 years and it was terrible, before that I slept great. My husb could talk to me in the middle of the night and I could go right back to sleep. I slept really late in the mornings if I wanted to.

As far as medication I kept having to up the trazadone to work, I went on benadryl and it worked great at first then did not help me at all. It was easy to give it up because it was doing nothing for me. I did not want to keep taking more and more.

You know how I feel, retirement would be nice to sleep in but I am thankful I dont toss and turn all night and go back and forth from bed to the couch. Geez that was miserable. Maybe getting older is why we cant sleep the way we want but I sure could do it before getting insomnia 2 years ago. Oh well if I have to accept it, it is what it is. Martin Reed has helped me a lot. those doctors just want to put on you pills. I know I am not alone in this which helps with people who understand so thanks again.

[Martin Reed]

I’m curious — what makes sleeping late so important to you? What would you be doing differently with your life if that happened?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[sleep]

I just know I am a night owl and love staying up late and sleeping late in the mornings. A lady in my neighborhood gets out and walks in the morning. That is not for me but I love to walk in the evenings. I guess it is just the way I am wired, my body clock.

[sleep]

Martin, I just feel so much peace sleeping in and love staying up late, I guess it is just I am a night owl and love being one. My husb loves getting up early and going to bed early. He would be miserable staying up late like I do.

[Martin Reed]

You can control the action of staying up late if that’s important to you. And your experience tells you that you cannot control or program yourself to sleep to a certain time of the day. So, there seems to be a conflict here between what you want and what you can control.

What do you mean when you say that you feel so much “peace” sleeping in? What is peace? What makes the presence of peace so important to you? What other sources — if any — of peace are there (or could there be) in your life?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[sleep]

Thank you for replying. I can control the part about staying up late but cant control what time I get up. So I am beginning to accept this. I think I will have peace if I realize I cant control w hen I get up and am grateful I can sleep my 6 or 7 hours thanks to you Martin Reed!

I think a lot of it might be genetics. I enjoy the night time and this is getting complicated because I enjoy sleeping late in the mornings. I certainly get peace from other things, having a good marriage, retiring and having a home paid for and traveling some and love my gym and friends. I guess I need to look at what I have and not what I dont.

I guess I need you to make it simple for me. I guess if I cant wake up early there is nothing I can do about it so find peace in other things, is that what you mean?

[Bronte]

Thank you Martin, you always help me to question my thoughts.

I agree with Sleep that there’s something peaceful about sleeping in late in the mornings. I think it comes from working all your life and not being able to do it. It’s like a reward on your days off! However, for me the reason I find waking up so early annoying is because it puts me off staying up later in the evening. If I go to bed later, because I’ve been socialising, then I will still wake up early and then feel dreadful the next day. Does it matter? No, not really 🤔 but I have had so many years of always feeling so tired I just want to avoid it if I can. As you say, Martin, it’s all about that ‘control’ and accepting that we can’t precisely control when and for how long we sleep for. I am sooo grateful to be sleeping for 5-6 hours now that I do accept this. Life is not about perfection! I feel that I have finally stopped experiencing the fear and obsession around sleep and those are the big ones to conquer!

Thank you Sleep, I was so pleased to read that I had helped you with some previous comments. I think I am more of a night owl, like you, so I like to stay up later and I function less effectively early in the morning. Finding peace and gratitude in other things is great advice!
I’m sure there are plenty of people reading our messages who would just love to be sleeping at all and would feel irritated by our ‘problem’. I’ve been there too and understand now that it’s overcoming the fear that is the path to sleep. It’s hard work but you can get there.

[sleep]

Thanks Martin Reed, you have given me things to think about. Finding other sources of peace. I guess you mean being grateful for sleep I am getting and other blessings in my life.

Thanks Bronte, yes I am glad my sleep is so much better and glad it was never as bad as some people have it on here. You had insomnia for 40 years, I had it for 2. There are people on here who cant sleep for days. One time but only one time I went for 3 days without sleep but then got on meds and/or benadryl to get me thru until I found Martin. I didnt work as hard as you thru the years, I mostly worked part time and I had 2 kids. I did work early hours and loved sleeping late on the weekends, yes it was kind of like a reward.

I woke up this morning with a good mindset, saying I am not complaining any more about waking up early, acceptance here. Also grateful I slept my 12 until 6 and not tossing and turning like I use to do. If I have to be a morning lark now it is what it is.

[Bronte]

Great news Sleep!! Keep the positive attitude and the idea of acceptance. I believe that acceptance without fear is the holy grail and I find if I adopt this attitude with many aspects of my life then things gradually improve and begin to resolve. It’s as if you have to spend some time with acceptance before your brain begins to realise that you are no longer going to struggle with whatever it is. Then the brain and nervous system calm down and things improve.

Thank you Martin, for everything you do.

Good luck Sleep, I think you are 90% there now.

[Chee2308]

How nice it would be if we could control every aspect of our life, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. You cannot control when your body decides to wake up in the same way you can’t control how your stomach digests the food you’ve eaten!

Perception is key to everything. Anyone can stay miserable all day simply because they can’t control everything to perfection. Or you can adapt to an everchanging world, taking refuge that there’s actually perfection in an imperfect world because the constant changes make learning and striving for betterment possible. Variety is indeed the spice of what would otherwise be a monotonous, and boring life.

Keep on striving until the end.

[sleep]

I just have to tell ya I slept until 8am this morning instead of 5 or 6am. Weird, I finally just accepted this is how it is going to be, I am going to wake up early and quit struggling with it and just be grateful I am well, sleep my 6 hrs, etc. Then I slept til 8am. When I can accept and not struggle I slept so good. I slept 12 untill 8. I put a warm electric blanket on my bed and slept so good.

[Bronte]

Hi Sleep

That’s amazing!! Great news! It’s all about acceptance and not analysing it. Now you’ve done it once I’m sure it can continue. It proves that we have to stop the struggle and worry and just accept whatever happens.

I hope to be joining you in your success soon 🤞 I think I’ve been thinking about it too much lately so I will follow your strategy and stop worrying about it.

Best wishes to you and thanks for the chats x

[Author]

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