[Hubdave]

I have had trouble sleeping for about 2 months now (with Martin’s help I am avoiding using the word insomnia). Until recently I was in a self destructive loop where I was trying to force myself to sleep, lying in bed anxious when I couldn’t sleep and being so mentally exhausted by the morning that I couldn’t sleep at all, spent the whole nest day worrying about how I could make myself sleep the next night and was not eating and losing weight with the anxiety. I have been following Martin’s e-mails and can report some progress. My attitude going to bed now is just to be able to relax and let the sleep take care of itself (again this was Martin’s advice). If I am still awake in the night I get up and read for a bit. Even though I can see the time moving forward it does not fill me with the same sense of panic. (I know the advice is not to look at clocks, but it is hard not to). Last night I was calmly lieing in bed or reading from 11pm to 5.20 am. I then swapped beds with my wife and slept until 10.20 am. We have a new bed which I am finding too hard to sleep in at the beginning of the night, but which seems to work when I am more tired. I think the change of location helps to break the mental block to sleep.To any one else that would seem a disaster, but for me to get 5 hours sleep is real progress. I know that to reset your sleep cycle you are not supposed to lie in in the morning, but I am at the stage when I will take sleep wherever and whenever I can get it. To not wake up totally brain dead and depressed is a great blessing. As a christian prayer is also helping me a lot. Thanks again to Martin. It is easy to get advice, but hard work to actually put it into practice, but well worth it

[reneegavin]

Yeah, I’m wondering how bad OCCASIONALLY sleeping in a bit is.  I am naturally a night owl who is forced to wake up early for life.  I really struggle during the week, and usually don’t conk out until around 1am or so and then have to get up around 6:30-7.  This wouldn’t be bad, except that I have very interrupted sleep (sleep apnea husband who gets up ungodly early for work).  Although I know not to overdo it with sleeping in every weekend, I’m thinking it might not be so bad to sleep in on just a Saturday for an extra hourish, or especially while on a vacation.

Has your relationship survived well with sleeping in separate rooms.  Not trying to get personal, but my hubby and I have been doing this occasionally now, and I find I sleep better by myself which makes us both very sad!

 

[Hubdave]

I know that sleeping in is supposed to make sleeping more difficult the next night, but sometimes it is just too tempting when you are running very low on sleep hours.

I think that the bed is for sleeping, so if it helps you and your husband get better sleep to be in separate beds it is a way to express care for each other and stengthens the relationship rather than weakens it

 

 

 

[reneegavin]

Yeah, I used to sleep in on Fridays and Saturdays, and even a bit on Sundays.  I think I’m going to have to allow myself one of those days.   I will limit it to one day and only allow a maximum of an hour.  I plan on switching my sleep and wake times MUCH earlier once my daughter goes back to college.  At that point I will be getting up around 4:30-5am.  There’s no way I’m going to get up that time on a Saturday!

[Martin Reed]

As you figured out, trying to sleep doesn’t work (in fact, it actually makes sleep more difficult). The fact that you found it possible to sleep in a different location to normal is evidence that you have learned to associate your normal sleeping environment with non-sleep activities, thoughts, and/or behaviors. These are often things like worry, anxiety, and stress, or activities such as watching TV, reading, surfing the internet, etc.

Fortunately, it is possible to ‘unlearn’ this association, and once again create an association between the bed and sleep. One way to do this is to make sure that the only thing you do in bed is sleep. To help make this happen, it’s important to get out of bed when you can’t sleep and to give yourself the best chance of sleep by creating (and sticking to) a regular, and appropriate, sleep schedule.

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