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Hi there. I have been suffering from insomnia for more than six months. And recently I have started using some of the CBTi techniques to tackle the problem.
I started sleep restriction more than two weeks ago. My sleep window is between midnight and 6am (6hrs), calculated based on the average number of my sleep hours. However, I could only manage to get 4-hour sleep on average during the sleep window. In fact, there is even a decline trend. For example, last night I could only get 3 hours.
Is this normal? Or have I missed anything?
Thanks in advance for your help!
Hello Paul and welcome to the forum! It’s hard to draw conclusions after two weeks, but let’s see if we can explore this a bit further!
Where is the two hours or so of wakefulness occurring in that six hour window? Do you have trouble falling asleep or falling back to sleep after waking during the night? What other CBT-I techniques are you implementing (if any) other than sleep restriction?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It is usually not helpful to just focus obsessively on the end-result, over-monitoring it. These are the things which are stimulating to your mind and makes sleep more difficult. For many recovered people, it’s usually more productive to focus elsewhere: on the things that do lead to better sleep, like going in and out of bed at consistent times, and tackling the negative behaviors and thoughts around sleep.
People desperate for sleep don’t sleep. See, this is the thing with sleep, it is paradoxical. You get it when you don’t want or think about it. Recall those times when you were in a boring lecture, meeting or movie, you start dozing off. You weren’t trying to sleep, but it keeps coming to you, almost effortlessly. Stop trying so hard. Don’t chase or miss sleep, let it chase you!
Hello Martin, thanks for the kind and prompt reply. I really appreciate your care for struggling insomniacs like me.
On average, I woke up two or three times every night in the past two weeks. Usually the first wakefulness took place after a 2-3 hour sleep. Then I would get out of bed to make myself sleepy again. Usually I could fall back to sleep for another 1 hour or so after returning to bed. Falling back to sleep after the second wakefulness has been always more challenging. Usually I just gave up returning to bed.
Besides stimulus control, I also practice relaxation techniques (meditation, chi gong) before bed.In the past two weeks, I never had to use an alarm clock to wake me up.
Thank you very much Chee2308! These days I have been trying not to focus on the end-result very much. I tried not to care about how many hours I slept. It is difficult. But I think it is the right path to regain my sleep.
Many thanks once again for the help!!
Hi Paul!
Your sleep will improve as long you stick to the plan. Having a consistent sleep and wake up plan is key to this, especially the wake up part. It will work regardless of whether you believe in it or not, because that’s how the human body works. It might take some time though. Human sleep system works on a clock, as long you only allow sleep to happen at certain times, your body will start responding. Waking at regular times regardless of how you slept the previous night, will allow your sleep debt to build up again, so that you get sleepy when the start of your sleep window comes around.Then when your sleep improves, everything will start falling into place. Your anxiety levels and obsession will start coming down and you will be able to start letting go easier. Note that we are not trying to directly control sleep here, we are creating favorable conditions or the fertile ground for natural sleep to happen.
One more tip regarding the awakenings, they are normal but your responses do matter. Start acting like you don’t care. Be okay with waking up and try not to struggle. Keep going and best wishes!
Hi Chee2308! Thank you very much again for the useful tips! I totally agree that having a consistent sleep and wake up plan is the key.
But in the early phase of the sleep restriction therapy, I found that while it is not a problem to sleep at the same time, it is quite difficult to wake up at the same time. So far I have not had the luxury of being woken up by an alarm clock. I always woke up earlier. My sleep window is between midnight and 6am. Should I change to an earlier wake up time? Or should I wait for another week to see?In general no, you don’t keep changing your sleep schedule. Unless of course, you are expanding it to allow more time in bed which reflects the improvement you are making.
How long are you waking before your scheduled wake up time? Ideally you’d want to give your body the opportunity to go back to sleep in all cases of early awakenings, but if this is not happening and it’s already close to your scheduled wake up time, you might as well get out of bed to start your day a bit early.
For most people including myself, I chose to get up early at first, but then discovered I could actually go back to sleep. Nothing beats my warm comfy bed in the cold early mornings and I almost always fall back asleep now. The time to fall asleep also got progressively shorter.
It sounds as though you might still be actively trying to make sleep happen (“I would get out of bed to make myself sleepy again”). In addition, if your goal with relaxation techniques is to make sleep happen, you might be engaging in sleep efforts — and these are not usually very helpful because sleep can’t be controlled and all that effort trains the brain to believe that wakefulness is a threat or a danger that it must be alert to protect you from.
If we wake (which is a normal part of sleep) and find it hard too fall back to sleep then we either aren’t sleepy enough for more sleep to happen or we are trying to make sleep happen.
I would usually only suggest getting out of bed if/when being awake in bed feels really unpleasant — and even then the goal isn’t to make sleep happen but simply to give ourselves the opportunity to make that time awake more pleasant.
Ultimately, to get rid of insomnia we have to be OK with wakefulness happening. There are no techniques that can make sleep happen (other than staying awake for long enough) — the more we try the harder sleep becomes!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It is really comforting and encouraging to find someone who went through similar experiences.
Thank you very much Chee2308 for sharing your experience.I usually woke up after 2-3 hour sleep. Most of the time I could fall back to sleep for another 1 hour or so, but not more. My sleep efficiency is around 68%. It has been like this for the past 2.5 weeks. I don’t know how long this will last.
But I can see hope from your experience.
Many thanks again for the reply, Martin. I do realize that I have been making too much effort to sleep. These days I have been trying not to care much about sleep. Hopefully I will succeed eventually.
Your videos are truly helpful! I have already recommended your website to two of my friends.
I wish I could be a successful case for them.Hi Paul!
I note you do lots of relaxation techniques. Qigong, breathing etc. Before insomnia, did you do any of these things? If not, then they are sleep efforts. You are only doing them out of fear and desperation. As long as there’s fear, your recovery won’t be complete.
You need to look at insomnia square and hard in the face and not be afraid anymore to fully recover from it. Stop running away but face your fears head-on. Be adventurous and even dare it to make your it worse! There’s actually nothing there. Insomnia is an adult version of “I’m afraid of the monsters in the closet” story often told by kids. You are just frightened by a set of your own thoughts.
A good way to get grounded and not be carried away by emotions is to be yourself as much as you can before your insomnia. Start regaining your personality. Stop altering plans and stop doing things to relax away the fear. If you didn’t do any of these things before, then you certainly don’t need to do them now either. It’s those things you do to try to escape that are keeping your insomnia firmly in place.
Get away from forums like these, the youtube videos, the googling and all the researching. Stop talking about sleep to anyone. Get engaged in your planned activities for the day. Just keeping to a regular bed time schedule is more than enough. Leave sleep to your own body. Stop judging your sleep on a daily basis. Remember only yourself knows what’s going on, therefore the only person who can pass judgment is yourself! So in a sense, your suffering are entirely self-made. Do nothing at least for a few weeks. In sleep, less is more, nothing is best! That slowly takes away the power that insomnia has over you. Good luck!
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