[Overbrook12]

The perspectives (shout out Chee2308) on this board have been very helpful as I’m working my way through 3 weeks of very little sleep and very strong feelings of anxiety and hopelessness.

Several years ago I had a severe bout of insomnia. I went through the typical ringer… medication, talk therapy, and experimenting with other stuff that didn’t work. Eventually I did a CBT-I program that was somewhat helpful (severe SR and SC never felt right), but it wasn’t until I gave away all my insomnia books and stopped looking at any insomnia related content that I got back to a fairly normal relationship with sleep. I certainly had worries about sleep after “recovering” and I didn’t sleep perfectly, but I had an understanding that I was done researching and could not let how I was sleeping affect my life in any meaningful way.

And then I hit this rough patch of work and family stress and my sleep anxiety returned maybe fiercer than ever before after those acute stressors had passed. For the first time in many years I was lured/compelled/dragged whatever you want to call it, into “playing the game” again. Back on the internet researching.

As it had been a while since I was last in this world, I looked up what was new on message boards and YouTube with regard to improving sleep and anxiety. I bought a Steven Hayes ACT book, Guy Meadows’ sleep book, a Claire Weekes book. I watched Daniel Erichsen videos about “Befriending Wakefulness” and a ton of other content that most people would find helpful. The ideas were interesting and have helped me in some ways during the day. But my sleep is still an absolute mess. With an 8 hour sleep window, I’m tossing and turning most of the first part of the night and maybe getting a couple hours of sleep later in the early morning. I should probably reduce my window to 7 hours, but also am resistant in some ways to being back to a place of playing around with that.

Looking back on these last 3 weeks, I know my desperation for sleep has caused me to manically consume all this content. And that my interest in sleep is in many ways what’s fueling this bout of trouble.

On one hand, the search for the next YouTube video or book that will result in a powerful perspective that helps is a noble effort. But on the other hand it’s maybe not so different from looking for the next supplement or other sleep effort that will change things.

As it all goes back to what is commonly repeated here. The best advice is no advice, the best strategy is no strategy. Leave insomnia alone and it will leave you alone.

Curious how others are balancing “quitting insomnia” while also maybe being open to some of the newer takes on sleep and anxiety that could be helpful.

Thank you all for any replies. I’ve found a lot of the content on this board very helpful!

[trailrunner85]

I am at the strange point in my journey where I no longer worry about not sleeping until it happens to me. I have accepted that I will forever have bad nights (as I always have), but its how I react to it that I need to work on.

To answer your question though about the balance, I think, at least this course, is not really about “curing” anything but more about building skills that will last forever so that when tough times do arise (and they will), you have skills to fall back on.

So if your intent on seeking out information is to build skills that will help you navigate the difficult time/thoughts, then I think its good to pursue.

If you seek this information out because you’re fixated on getting a certain amount or type of sleep, then it could do damage. I think its the intent behind the pursuit. I have done both… At one point I was obsessed and hearing the podcasts was almost anxiety inducing. “How could anyone accept this?!”

For instance, my hyper-arousal at night is no longer about if I will sleep, it’s almost always about other stressors in life. Then, I get upset and annoyed that I am not sleeping. Where it used to be that I got worked up in anticipation of whether or not I will sleep.

This course has helped me to live life all day long (and most nights) in a positive space.– I know that nothing is wrong with me. I no longer think about sleep and I know from experience that I will make up sleep following a bad night (or sometimes after multiple bad ones).

I am not sure if that helps or makes sense, but I tried lol.

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