[madmax]

Hi all,

I had a terrible sudden insomnia that started last year and lasted until a few months ago. I’m recovered now. I wanted to write here because I remember the lack of success stories and the feeling that few people recover and this nightmare is going to last for the rest of my life. Well, luckily for us all, it’s not like that! It took me months to find the time to write this post. I want to tell you, the reason why there are so few success stories is just the way recovery from insomnia works. You gradually stop thinking about it! You internalize the good habits, you start filling your life with more important stuff, you care less and less about sleep, and sleep gradually comes back without effort.

I’ll tell you my story. In August last year I suddenly got very sick and immediately stopped sleeping normally. I was worrying a lot about my sickness; I didn’t know what it was, I lost all my energy, I couldn’t walk 10 minutes, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t read, and doctors didn’t help at all, they acted like they didn’t believe that I was sick. I live abroad which surely doesn’t help.

I was sleeping an average of 3 hours using a pill for anxiety the doctor gave me, but that pill was killing me, literally (I had difficulty to breath and I even think my heart stopped for some seconds at some point). I had to quit the pill cold turkey, and then I spent 3 days and nights with a terrible withdrawal syndrome and not sleeping at all. I ended up in the hospital, and I spent the next 2 or 3 months with terrible pain and taking Zopiclone every other night (they told me not to take it every night). When I took it I slept 3 hours, when I didn’t I spent the whole night awake in bed. Of course I didn’t yet know a word about CBTi 🙂

Who knows how long that would have lasted if it wasn’t for the information about CBTi I could find on the Internet. Why didn’t the health system point me to this information? It’s so sad so many people are suffering like I did with such a powerful and inexpensive solution available.

So, I knew first of all I had to quit Zopiclone. I started taking half the dose each night instead of the normal dose every other night, and to my surprise half the dose had the same effect as a full dose, so I could sleep 3 hours each night! I went on reducing the dose until stopping completely, and I was still sleeping 3 hours. This was in December, 4 months from the beginning.

Since my doctor didn’t know what to do with me she sent me to a psychologist. That of course didn’t help me at all, but they had this program called “running therapy”, where you join a group of people and go run for one hour once a week. I was beginning to feel better physically, so I gave it a try. It was exhausting, and my head felt like it was going to explode, like each time I tried to do any effort back then, but man, I slept 5 hours that night! It felt great! So I started doing more and more exercise, focusing on my body and leaving my mind alone. I did Yoga every morning, a lot of running and biking, joined a table tennis club… I also started to work again a few hours. I read Sasha Stephens “the effortless sleep method”, which was great to start changing my mindset in relation to sleep. I also read everything on this website. And I gradually started to improve.

In January I started doing sleep restriction and all the CBTi stuff. I know my mind associated the bed with fear, frustration and terrible feelings from the previous months, and it took several more months to break that association. I started restricting to 5h, then I was optimistic and increased to 6h but it didn’t work, went back to 5h and only increased 15 minutes each week. I had some ups and downs but in April I reached 7h and stopped with SR. I didn’t sleep 7h in one go, and still today I wake up a couple of times each night, but that’s OK. Once you develop a good routine, break the bad associations and stop worrying, once you not only believe but _know_ that you can sleep, you just sleep! And it feels great!

A good routine is key. Sleep loves routine. Don’t take it too seriously, don’t worry if you deviate from it. But it helps me a lot to relax completely for one hour before sleep. First I clean my teeth, put my pajamas, get everything ready so I don’t have to do anything when I go to bed. I open the room’s window to freshen it. Then I listen to an audiobook for one hour on the couch. For some reason that works better for me than reading. Often I already fall asleep there. Then I go to bed and fall asleep in a matter of minutes. It’s amazing, that never happened to me before I had insomnia, all my life I used to lie in bed for one hour or so, thinking about all kinds of stuff, before falling asleep. So you can see your insomnia as an opportunity to learn and sleep better than you ever did before!

There is one of the CBTi rules I don’t follow strictly: They say you should only sleep in your bed and nowhere else. I tried to stick to that during SR, maybe it helped me with bed-sleep association, but currently, if I wake up at night and don’t fall back to sleep again in around half an hour, I just go to sleep on the couch. I usually fall asleep immediately and if I wake up I go back to bed and also fall asleep immediately. This works for me but of course everyone is different.

BTW I had always had the wrong idea that I needed a completely dark room to be able to sleep well. Since now I’m frequently falling asleep on the living room, where we have nothing to block the light from the street, I discovered light has very little influence on my sleep. So one less thing to worry about 🙂

Well, I hope this helps increase your trust in CBTi and your innate ability to sleep. Let me know if you have any question, I’ll be happy to help.

Good luck!

• This topic was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by madmax.

[Martin Reed]

Thank you so much for sharing your success story with us all. I am sure that many people will take great comfort from your story. I think that having a wind-down time (what I refer to as a buffer zone) before bed is so important — and it really doesn’t matter too much what you do during this period.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[gsdmom]

Thanks for posting your experience! Yesterday I started a free trial for audiobooks as sometimes I am just too tired to read when I get out of bed because I am not sleeping. Very enjoyable. And I also find having the window open a bit for fresh air is good even though my doctor suggested having the room blacked out. I use earplugs now to minimize the street and other noise.

I can really see this is a long process and a lifelong process and try not to get discouraged. And like you, I stepped up my exercise rountine, so if there was one benefit of insomnia I’ve lost 8 lbs and gained some muscle and strength.

[suren]

Hi Max,

Congrats on your recovery!

During your insomnia (or initial stages of your recovery), did you ever experience light superficial sleep. The kind where you get up feeling not refreshed and exhausted?

Natasha

[madmax]

Hi Natasha,

Thanks, I wish the same to everyone with this problem!

Yes, I had that a lot. I just found an email to Martin from December, I told him I spent a lot of time at the end of the night in stage 1 sleep, and in my sleep diary I counted 4 hours of stage 1 as one hour of sleep. He asked me how did I know it was stage 1 sleep. This was my answer:

I know it’s stage 1 because I have the feeling that I’m awake but there are three differences with being awake:

1. Time goes by fast.
2. I may have thoughts but I don’t control them, or I have no thoughts at all.
3. I have some dreams.

Sometimes I believe I have been awake for hours but suddenly I remember that I was dreaming.
BTW This happened _every day_ when I was taking Zopiclone: I would be unconscious for 2 or 3 hours after taking Zopiclone, and the rest of the night was stage 1 as described above. If I didn’t take Zopiclone then the whole night was stage 1. Pills really mess up your brain.

You should try to avoid spending too much time in that state. It’s better to have less but better quality sleep, and gradually the good sleep will become longer.

Good luck!

[suren]

Thanks so much Max! Your response means a lot, as this has been my biggest challenge. Falling to sleep and being in this comatosed (half asleep/half awake) state.

Moving forward, I will try to the extent possible to practice stimulus control when in this state. But the challenge herein ofcourse is that when you are experiencing this light sleep, it’s difficult to snap out of it and get out of bed (as you’re only half conscious).

By the way, my sleep challenges also started last August.

Also, if you do not mind me asking, did you experience any droopiness and sagging of the facial skin from the insomnia? And if yes, did it improve with sleep. I know it sounds quite superficial, but this is also another one of my woes!

Natasha

[madmax]

Hi Natasha, glad that I can help!

Indeed you can’t take any action when you’re in that state, but if there is a pattern like you sleep well for around 4 hours and then spend many hours in very light sleep, you should limit your time in bed to something like 5 and a half hours and increase it slowly.

I didn’t experience those problems with the facial skin, but that time when I spent 3 days with zero sleep I suddenly got the terrible feeling that the facial skin was super tense, pulling up, and my lips felt asleep. That feeling lasted some months. I was afraid it would never go away, but luckily it did. I still have some problems, e.g., I can’t drive a car for more than 30 minutes, but I don’t know if they come from my illness or from the months of insomnia, anyway they are gradually disappearing. I’m quite surprised of how the brain can recover, I was very pessimistic back then but the ability of the human body to heal itself is just amazing.

[gsdmom]

Hi Natasha,

There have been a lot of people mentioning light sleep/stage 1 sleep here recently. Last month I did a sleep study to check for apnea, during the study my doctor said I was spending too much time in stage 1. He said the average person might spend 6 minutes but I spent 29 minutes in it. And of course I felt like was not sleeping but technically I was. The doctor said this is common with insomniacs. He suggested that when I’m in this state to tell myself I’m in stage one, relax and then hopefully I will fall into deeper sleep.

Starting about 2 weeks ago I have made progress with sleep, having 7 good, refreshing nights sleeping  7+ hours (but not in a row), and knowing about this sleep stage has helped and so I stress less.

As far as facial drooping, that is like me. Last month a long time neighbor even told me I look a bit droopy! The one time recently I had 4 good nights of sleep in a row, the dark circles seemed to get just a fraction better or maybe wishful thinking, but being that it typically takes skin cells 6 weeks to rejuvinate, I would expect I’d need 6 weeks of probably 6+ hours of sleep or more for me to start looking really refreshed.

[suren]

Hi Gsdmom. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Super helpful. And indeed, as you need to pass thru stage 1 sleep to experience the deeper stages of sleep, it makes sense to relax and give your body the chance to do so.

So the ideal reaction, is not to get out of bed when experiencing this sleep state (which I’ve been guilty of in the past), but shortening your time in bed to lessen the probability of this sleep state. This said, there may still be some prudence in getting out of bed if on this state for 3+ hours to break the association between bed and poor sleep (???).

Thanks as well for the feedback on the physical impact of sleep deprivation. I’ve lost all the fullness and suppleness in my face, got eye bags and dark circles, sagging cheeks in just months. One dermatologist told me that these changes aren’t reversible, and it really spiked my anxiety at the time. But there’s a part of me that is still hopeful that with restorative sleep, my appearance will slowly come back in.

[suren]

Thanks again Max! Your feedback makes much sense. My sleep also broke last August, and I went thru a bit of a medical nightmare after that, loosing my job, my health …and the last straw was my looks. I’m happy to hear that things are slowly righting themselves for you, including your driving ability. Yes, the brain is indeed such a complex and intriguing organism. But it sound like the lesson learnt is that the body does have the ability to self-heal! I started CBTI this May, so I’m looking forward to those better days.

[madmax]

It will improve, CBTi works 🙂 Be patient and focus on all the things you really want to do in life 🙂 Good luck!

[wsh]

I agree. I  am into week 5 now of the CBTi. Last night I slept for 7 hours straight, and have had good or very good sleep the last 9 nights. I have lost the dark patches and baggy eyed look too (and I am 57). I have compared photos of me now and before the insomnia and I look exactly as I used to.  So I reckon that for a younger girl with more elastic skin (when the sleep starts happening consistently again) you will go back to the way you used to look before.

[suren]

Thanks so much wsh. This makes me less pessimistic and less anxious about the physical side effects. It’s also encouraging to hear of your own recovery as well.

Best,

Natasha

[gsdmom]

Natasha – so sorry to hear about your losses, job and health and looks! I’m 57 like wsh (thanks for posting about your facial recovery) and I’ve had to postpone looking for a job for 4 months due to insomnia, I started looking recently but find since I’m barely recoverying, some of the interviews are making me relapse and suffer additional insomnia. I’m putting the job thing on hold again a bit longer or only seeking part time. You sound like you have  hope,  don’t get discouraged. If you have extra money, you can look into some facial procedures at a MedSpa. My sister, last year had issues with a leg bone and rheumatoid arthritis pain. She was bed bound for about 10 months, and near the end she needed a diaper that her husband had to change. But she is up now, recovered and enjoying her garden and we will slowly improve too! Have Faith.

As far as the light sleep goes, I’m not doing Sleep Restriction, only stimulus control, so maybe I have a bit more flexibility for my sleep schedule as far as bed time, but still need to get up the same time everyday. Just to also make clear, my doctor does want me getting out of bed if I can’t sleep after about 30 minutes and preferably no clock watching if that is a stressor. He just wants me to understand that I am in light sleep more often that I realize, and to not lose the moment or bring on anxiety about thinking I am awake.

[Borgesbi]

So encouraging to hear about your recovery, Madmax!  I relate to the light sleep state so much, Natasha, and I used to ask many questions about it. The way you both described it was exactly what I used to experience. I’m on 4 months of practicing CBT-I and sleep is still pretty flawed but light sleep is one thing I rarely experience these days, I even forgot just how bothersome they used to be!

Madmax, after how long of CBTI did you notice a stabilization of good nights of sleep? I’ve been noticing I entered a phase where I’ll have about 3 nights of decent/core sleep, then around on the 4th night I get just a little anxious about sleep and when I get in bed I’ll have really bad “conditioned arousal” (heart racing, butterflies in stomach) and then this repeats itself for a few nights until I finally relax again about sleep and then fall asleep again super easily for a few days – I’ve been coping with these strange little cycles. The irony is that before CBT-I I didn’t experience this sleep anxiety, so this is a negative effect of the techniques that I’m not sure how to handle. Does anyone else relate?

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