[Lozelise]

I sadly fear there is no getting over this thing. Previously, over the years, insomnia was only a week or two at most, and then my sleep would normalise for years. Since June 2023, I had a severe bout for around three months, and then my sleep has never been the same. I recovered for a few weeks, relapsed and repeat. I even recovered for a period of 2-3 months and thought it was all over, and now I’ve relapsed again. All it takes is 1-2 bad nights now, and I’m right back at the start. It never used to be like that. I used to make a full recovery very quickly after bouts of sleep issues, and go years without any problem (other than the odd one night of bad night sleep here and there).

I just don’t understand why it’s so easy for the sleep problems to return. It’s hard to believe I’ll ever make a full recovery.

It’s frustrating the body doesn’t recognise the need for sleep and keep you in that state, I hate that such tiny amounts ot anxiety can override sleep drive so easily and then I’m awake every few hours.

just don’t feel like there any hope sadly

[Martin Reed]

That sounds difficult.

When difficult nights show up how do you respond to them? And, what problems does the return of difficult nights seem to create for you?

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[Lozelise]

I just lay in bed, don’t touch my phone and try to relax and not let wakefulness bother me. I feel like I’m actually quite calm to be honest. If it wasn’t for waking up, I’d be 100% cured as I can mostly get off to sleep quite well. I think I do get nervous when I wake in the night, but not enough to completely keep me awake I’d have thought. In fact, when I had that 2-3 month recovery, I’d wake up and go back to sleep quite easily. I am going through another bout of stress at the moment due to moving house.

Perhaps due to a difficult night I’m maybe not thinking rationally about it and it’s possibly not as bad as it seems. However, my sleep has definitely not been the same for months.

I miss being able to fall asleep at 11pm and wake up at 7am.

[Author]

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