[WakingT00Early]

My current get out of bed Time is 6:10. But I wake up at 5:30. This is obviously not enough time to get out of bed, do something, get sleepy and get back in bed to sleep more. Should I shift my whole schedule up so that my get up time is is actually 5:30? Then after a couple of weeks of sleep training try to move my get up time to later?

I feel this issue is preventing me from making progress.

[Martin Reed]

If you were making progress, how would things be different?

I think we can fall into a bit of a trap when setting a sleep window — if you are doing it with the goal of making a certain amount or type of sleep happen (something your own experience probably tells you is out of your direct control) then it can create more difficulty and struggle.

The real intent with a sleep window is to help us move away from chasing after sleep. When we are chasing after sleep we are more likely to do things like go to bed earlier or stay in bed later — this often creates worse conditions for sleep, sets us up for more struggle, and makes it harder for us to do things that move us toward the life we want to live.

I’d suggest having an out of bed time that feels workable to you. An out of bed time that is aligned with the life you want to live, feels realistic, and feels appropriate.

Your chosen out of bed time isn’t the time you are expected to wake up at — it’s nothing more than the time you get out of bed to start your day. Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep (and, for that reason, I don’t think there’s any need to get out of bed just because you are awake).

You might find it helpful not to even check the time when you wake during the night, and to allow yourself to remain in bed for as long as you feel comfortable (until the end of your sleep window, of course). If you find yourself struggling, you always have the opportunity to do something more pleasant — and you can do that in bed, or out of bed. Your choice.

I hope there’s something useful here!

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