Welcome to the forum, Mags. First, let me tell you that there is hope for you and you are still capable of natural sleep. I have worked with people who lived with insomnia for over 30 years and managed to improve their sleep (without pills) within a few months.
As you mentioned, many people who struggle with sleep have high levels of anxiety surrounding sleep. This is completely normal and happens because we become conditioned that the bed is a place of stress and wakefulness rather than relaxation and sleep. As we become more worried about sleep, sleep becomes worse, and this leads to more worries about sleep.
The majority of people who have overcome their insomnia will have used cognitive and behavioral techniques to improve their sleep. These techniques work by addressing the root cause of most cases of insomnia — typically, incorrect and/or inappropriate thoughts and behaviors related to sleep. When these thoughts and behaviors are addressed, anxiety and worry about sleep begins to fall, and this leads to sleep improving. As sleep improves, worry falls further and sleep continues to improve (the exact opposite of the negative cycle associated with insomnia). Have you looked into CBT-I by any chance?
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