[Charlie]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on here and I thought I’d share my insomnia experience with you all. It all started for me about 3 years ago. I had a few things going on in my life at the time and I guess they started to cause some sleepless nights. As is natural I started googling to try and find a ‘quick fix’ or ‘cure’ for them. I started to implement all the sleep hygiene efforts and just hoped that something would make me sleep again. It won’t surprise you to know that they didn’t work and I began to fall further and further into a hole that I now know I was digging for myself.

Sleep was on my mind 24/7 every day. My anxiety about sleep grew and my sleep got much worse. It was not only affecting my nights but my days too. Days off work, cancelled plans, stopped exercising. I stayed at home, miserable as hell, feeling there was going to be no end to this.

Then in February this year I found Martins website. I began watching his podcasts and videos on YouTube and for the first time I felt I wasn’t alone and that there was hope for me. Listening to people describing their experiences with insomnia was like listening to myself describing mine. Everyone’s experience was different but the insomnia was the same. This was a great turning point for me, I enrolled in Martins free email course and it helped me tremendously. I started to implement sleep restriction and stimulus control. I then started to change my attitude, I didn’t want insomnia to control me so I started going into work, meeting friends and exercising again. I tried to change the way I thought about sleep and insomnia, I tried to make friends with them both instead of trying to fight them. In trying to do this I found that I could still enjoy a day at work or with friends even if I’d had no sleep the night before.

Over time I’ve become so much more relaxed about sleep and insomnia. From April I had about 12 weeks of good sleep ( 6-61/2 hours ) with of course a few difficult difficult nights thrown in. About 4 weeks ago I had a couple of bad nights and all the fear and anxiety gradually started to come back, and it’s still with me at this time. I’ve gone back to the beginning, reading Martins emails again, listening to his podcasts and YouTube videos again. I’ve gone back to a shorter sleep window and really concentrated on my thoughts without putting effort into it. It’s true what Martin says, putting effort into sleep whatever that may be won’t help you sleep but it is exhausting and will probably make your sleep worse. I’m treating this period of sleep disruption as temporary. Another thing Martin says is that insomnia is like a bully. The more attention and time you spend struggling with them the worse they will be, because you are reacting. Don’t react, don’t them see they are affecting you and they will leave you alone. The bully may come back every once in a while to test you again ( I think this is where I’m at now ) but if I just re visit and use the tools I’ve learnt so far it will go away again, maybe for a longer period.

It’s not easy, I am struggling again. Our thoughts are very powerful and it’s hard not to get carried away with them. I know this is all going to take time and I hope I can make it on my own. If not I will be enrolling in Martins 6 week course. In the last 4 months he has taught me so much about sleep and about what our thoughts can do to us if we get carried away with them. I’m not at the end of this yet, but in time I will enjoy sleep again without it being on my mind 24/7.

If you are reading this Martin, thank you so so much, I wish I’d found you 3 years ago. You are helping so many people overcome their insomnia and start to enjoy life again.

[Martin Reed]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Ups and downs are normal — we all experience periods of difficult nights just as we all experience periods of difficult days.

What matters is how we respond to them.

As you have found, it can be so easy (and quick!) to fall back into ways of responding that we know from experience are not workable. It’s natural and normal for that to happen since they are more familiar and might feel “easier” in the short term.

Fortunately, we always have the opportunity to change our approach. To practice exploring a more workable way of responding to this difficult stuff.

Ongoing practice is really what is key here!

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best 🙂

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Charlie]

Many thanks for your reply Martin,

It certainly is so easy to get tangled up with your thoughts again, they can take over again so easily. I’m struggling with waking early and not going back off.

Am I right in my thinking, because waking early and not going back off is a worry at the moment, is my brain waking me at more or less the same time to tell me that wakefulness is not good and I need to be awake to deal with it? This is kind of how I’m looking at it. I’m trying to just relax about my thoughts, enjoy my days and then when wakefulness happens early morning to just go with the flow and accept it. The past 4 weeks I think I’ve been getting frustrated that it’s come back after 3 good months. Thanks again

[Martin Reed]

Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep — what can make those awakenings more noticeable (and more difficult) is trying to fight or avoid them, putting pressure on ourselves to fall back to sleep, putting effort into falling back to sleep, or battling with whatever thoughts and feelings might be showing up with that wakefulness.

So, what matters most (and what is within your control) is how you respond to waking during the night — whether you engage in a struggle with it or whether you practice and develop skill in allowing that wakefulness to exist (even when you wish it didn’t).

When we are more comfortable with the presence of wakefulness it can lose its power and influence over us — and, as a bonus, with the absence of struggle, conditions become significantly better for more sleep to occur.

I hope there’s something useful here!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Charlie]

Thanks again Martin for your reply,

I’m finding everything you say and suggest so helpful. It all makes sense to me and I feel I understand sleep a lot more than I did. I will get there in the end, I’ve had 5/6 weeks of a relapse but now I think I’m coming through it. I’m hoping this will continue but I know I can come on to this forum and get so much help from reading people’s experiences and also listening to your podcasts, reading and listening to these make you feel that you are not alone and that things will get better in time.

Thanks for taking the time to reply

[Martin Reed]

You’re welcome — I wish you all the best!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts