[BZ]

Last night I got 2.25 hours of sleep and I’m feeling so frustrated. I started CBTi a month ago and I’ve made such little progress. I feel like I’ll never get to increase my sleep window from 5.5 hours. I have a trip in 2 day and I’m stressing over how to continue sleep restriction, with travel. I’m happy that I do feel sleepy again at bedtime. I go to sleep fine, but early waking is my problem. I can rarely go back to sleep, so I’ve been averaging 4 hours of sleep. It’s tempting to just give up and go back to using a tiny portion of Clonazepam.

[Martin Reed]

I admire your commitment to sticking with CBT-I for a month even though you feel you aren’t making progress.

Sometimes we can get really wrapped up in the behavioral side of things (implementing a sleep window, for example) and neglect the cognitive side of things — I wonder if this might be the situation for you?

Ultimately, if we wake during the night and find it hard to fall back to sleep then we aren’t sleepy enough for more sleep or (more typically) we are putting effort into falling back to sleep, putting pressure on ourselves to fall back to sleep, and/or battling with the thoughts, feelings, and emotions our brain usually generates at this time.

This response (although completely understandable!) trains our mind that wakefulness is a danger — that being awake at night is a threat and must be avoided. So, it will often activate the “fight or flight” response to protect us from wakefulness — and guess what happens then? It becomes really hard to fall back to sleep!

So, ultimately we need to teach our brain that it’s OK to be awake. We can do this by eliminating sleep efforts, not putting pressure on ourselves to sleep, acknowledging the difficult thoughts and feelings the brain might choose to generate (rather than trying to fight or avoid them), and exploring how we might make nighttime wakefulness more pleasant and how we might live a rich and rewarding life even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I hope there’s something helpful here.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[BZ]

Martin, you are so absolutely right. I am doing all that you said. I’ve been totally wrapped up in following “this plan” with strict sleep window…fretting when I wake and stressing that it’s not working. I think when I began CBTi a month ago, I had a more positive approach, but then when I had a setback or two, I overreacted. It’s the same kind of reaction I had that turned my initial insomnia into chronic insomnia. Overthinking about where this is all going, instead of taking a day and a night at a time. It helps to realize that actually I am fine, at this very moment… whether I’m awake in the middle of the night or going about my day after less than perfect sleep. I really do need to just be okay with waking, when it happens. It’s just a part of my night (most nights) and actually, waking up isn’t such a bad thing. It means I feel asleep and that’s good! My body knows how to fall asleep and it will again. Thanks for this good reminder to not “fight in the night”! I think I’m getting there!!

[Martin Reed]

You’ve shared some big insights there, BZ!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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