[kuac108]

Hello!
I just wrote to Martin but thought I might ask some other fellow insomnia people for advice/words of wisdom/experiences as well!

I have always had some sleep issues growing up of varying kinds (waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes not being able to fall asleep, sleep sensitive to caffeine/alcohol/certain foods). This was mostly in my early-mid twenties (I am now 30) and was mostly occasional. For a few years, however, I had been sleeping great. No issues whatsoever which mostly coincided with moving in with my long term boyfriend (and a memory foam mattress 🙂 ).

A few months ago, I moved to a different country and at the same time changed my diet and started exercising more (I got engaged so wanted to lose a bit of weight for the wedding). I must have not eaten enough on one particular day because I lay in bed, head on pillow, felt alert and ready to run a marathon! It also happened to be the night before I was supposed to get up at 5am to go for a hike (which didn’t help!). So I didn’t sleep AT ALL that night (not even 10 minutes). But since I have known what it was like to lose a night of sleep from previous sleep issues, I knew it would be a bit uncomfortable but not too bad if I lost just one night of sleep. However…

Somehow this one night triggered some kind of chronic insomnia that started to take over my life. I would be so knackered from not having slept one night I would sleep fine the next night. The night after that though, I would start getting panicky and anxious as I was trying to fall asleep (about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep). This one night on/one night off pattern went on for months and was getting worse and worse. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I am trying to fall asleep, which then obviously stops me from actually falling asleep, then after an hour I realise I still haven’t fallen asleep (which would normally take me 15mins!). Then I feel my heart beat start to rise, my body tense up, the dread and the anxiety set in as I get ready for another bad night. And a bad night for me is not 6 or 4 hours… it’s an hour or two of very light, jerky, and highly disturbed sleep.

I just got back to the UK for Christmas and the jet lag really helped my sleep when I got back. I have slept great for several weeks and thought my sleep issues were over (hurrah!). But no no… two nights ago I must have exercised too close to bed time, or not eaten enough carbohydrates, and for love nor money I couldn’t sleep again. I started freaking out (not this again, please no!) I got about 3 hours (light, jolty and disturbed sleep). I was knackered the next night (but slept well), and now it’s the night after and immediately feel anxious as I get into bed.

Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to STOP thinking (and judging) the falling asleep process? I understand rationally that I don’t need to worry and that sleep is just a natural process, but nevertheless the panic doesn’t cease! Thanks so much in advance for reading this rather long-winded post, any help or advice would be very much appreciated 🙂

[Martin Reed]

Since it’s usually not helpful to try to STOP thinking (that’s a bit like trying to stop breathing!) it might be helpful to explore the possibility of whether you might be able to change your reaction or relationship with the thoughts you have that seem to generate panic and anxiety.

Why do you think you put such pressure on yourself to sleep? What is the catastrophic outcome that seems to be so likely to happen if/when you find it hard to fall asleep?

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