[JoeGer]

It is suggested that more people than we might think, experience insomnia in one form or another. If this be the case, I wonder why so few people I know, are willing to acknowledge that fact.

It certainly doesn’t help me personally when people speak of falling asleep “as soon as I my head hits the pillow”.

Do such people simply accept sleep as a gift and are rewarded accordingly?

[Chee2308]

You are correct in certain aspects. Most people don’t acknowledge they have insomnia because they don’t see it as a problem. It is more of a mindset issue than a physical one. You have insomnia because your mind defined one into existence. What is insomnia? Basically, not sleeping X nights, or sleeping only Y hours per night or whatever definition you have given it. You might have the exact sleeping pattern as another person, you might see yours as problematic while the other doesn’t, so he/she doesn’t worry unnecessarily over it and their insomnia fails to take hold or continue to persist. Their condition usually resolves itself while yours continues mainly because you get upset and depressed over it and you make multiple attempts to try to “fix” it which automatically puts your brain into an hyperactive, alert and self-monitoring mode which makes sleep more difficult to come by.

The key to resolving insomnia is usually by becoming indifferent to what’s going on, this isn’t easy because it also depends on your personality and how controlling your character is. It also comes from receiving the correct education, adopting the right mindset which leads to taking the correct steps to get out of it. Sleep is quite easy and simple once you understand it. It is not some mysterious indecipherable black box that you have to keep figuring out. Sleep happens once you are up long enough. Therefore, use a consistent bed time and stick to it. Detach yourself from everything else. Don’t try to overachieve. Nothing except sufficient wakefulness can make your body sleepy and therefore is beyond your control or reproach. Your body is in total control and not you. Attempting to circumvent this is not only futile but also leads to more struggle and disappointment down the road. Good luck to you.

[JoeGer]

Thank you Chee for your response to my comment in the Forum. My first reaction on reading your response was to think that Martin must be very pleased with you and how you expressed your thoughts.

Having read it twice more, I remained of the opinion that you had gone to a lot of trouble to prepare such a lengthy response. However, I think I would have preferred to have read a somewhat shorter response; one that was perhaps somewhat less “judgmental” and showed a little more empathy with people perhaps not as far along the road as you appear to be.

Your opening remarks, especially in respect of “Most people don’t acknowledge they have insomnia because they don’t see it as a problem. It is more of a mindset issue than a physical one,” etc, speak the truth and cannot be denied. However, not each and every individual on the recovery from insomnia road are at the same junction as you might be fortunate enough to be at. And as someone who I believe has embraced the “truth” you identify and made progress, in my view and experience, I have to say that the “tone and tenor” of the lecture that I feel your response represents is far from encouraging people not quire where you appear to be on the journey.

I could comment further on your response but feel more inclined Chee to end by expressing the hope that other new participants in the programme and forum are not discouraged in their efforts to continue on the road to recovery. I know i would not wish to continue if your views reflect those of the wider community population.

[Chee2308]

Thank you for your candid response and I appreciate it. My mantra is always “Don’t react”, “Be indifferent”. I believe that’s how many people recover from this. If you go to Martin’s YT success stories videos or read about them here, this is the common factor for practically ALL recoveries. People just stopped responding to the their insomnia and it stopped bothering them. It’s not an easy task, I’ll admit, it could mean you might need to drop certain aspects of your personality, do or think about things that are unnatural to you at this point, or go beyond your comfort zone, but once you take the first step, the next one is a teeny bit easier and so on until you find the issue has just ceased mattering for you. In hindsight, I never thought I would be at this stage of recovery during the deepest bouts of my insomnia and I can confidently say many others here feel the same way too. Maybe Martin has a different answer for you, but it’s usually along philosophical lines such as “If insomnia isn’t such a problem, how will your life be different?” and so on. In this aspect, I can positively say thinking metaphorically helps too. Like if you think of sleeping as eating or breathing, why have you convinced yourself that only your sleep is broken and not others, when the biological processes for these are physiologically similar in your body. In a nutshell, I can’t talk you out of your situation but please appreciate the process more than the outcome, think more deeply about it and then come to your own conclusions that make good sense to you. Good luck!

[Martin Reed]

In my experience, people who say they fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow might be exaggerating a little (if we fall asleep instantly that suggests we might be sleep deprived). Most people without any issues with sleep take around 10-30 minutes to fall asleep, on “average”.

You raise an interesting question — do people fall asleep quickly because they accept it as a gift? And, why are they not acknowledging the appearance of difficult nights when they show up?

I think that, generally speaking, we tend to fall asleep effortlessly when we don’t get involved in the process of sleep. So, perhaps people fall asleep (or don’t get tangled up in long stretches of difficult nights) because of a lack of effort to make sleep happen?

Perhaps, even when difficult nights happen, they might be less likely to intervene and, as a result, sleep is able to recover relatively quickly?

Perhaps it’s not so much that they’re not acknowledging what’s going on (the appearance of insomnia) but that they are not acknowledging it as (or perceiving it to be) a problem that needs to be addressed or fixed?

Of course, when we’re faced with a problem most of us are hard-wired to try to fix that problem — and that’s where it’s so easy to get stuck because with sleep, the more we try to fix it the more tangled up we can get in a struggle with it.

Thanks for posting this topic — it’s an interesting area of discussion, that’s for sure!

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