[Jacki]

My biggest sleep challenge is when I am away in a different environment, a different bed and when I have lots of social stimulation. I find it very hard to not lie awake and have my head buzzing all night, and also feel anxious if I can’t send my husband to another room once he starts snoring/heavy breathing (which happens about a minute after he closes his eyes). I do have earplugs which sometimes work but I find these situations bring on additional anxiety about not sleeping. If I am at a social occasion such as a wedding and have a couple of drinks, my sleeping is even worse. I find it hard to shut my brain off so when I am at home I need a really calm/quiet environment in the evening. This has definitely become worse with age.
I have read about sleep diaries to try and track what is actually happening but wondered how this works in a practical sense. Yes I could wake up at 2am and write this in a sleep diary but how do i know how long I am awake for and what time I fall back asleep?

[Scott]

Hi @Jacki,

Welcome to the forum! What do you find your mind ruminating about in the evening? When we experience unhelpful thoughts, our tendency is to want to avoid it or struggle with it/them but that usually leads to an endless battle with our thoughts with no positive outcome. How do you manage those negative thoughts when they arrive?

A sleep journal is based on estimates so you don’t have (and I wouldn’t recommend) to watch the clock and be precise with your time. Feel free to mark the times after you start your day and not in the middle of the night.

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Martin Reed]

Just to add to Scott’s comments, I wonder whether — when you look back on your life in 100 years — you’ll remember all the great nights of sleep you had or whether you’re more likely to remember all the rich and meaningful experiences that come with traveling to new places and socializing (even though they might also come with difficult thoughts and feelings, such as anxiety, as important things usually do)?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Jacki]

I think the two main issues for me are (1) I am a really light sleeper and (2) when I wake up or something wakes me, my mind instantly becomes alert.
I have started staying up later (as suggested in your emails/podcasts) and I think this will help me, however even when I am sleepy, I find that the going and getting into bed can make me feel awake again. Before dealing with chronic insomnia, I still usually read a book (in bed) to feel sleepy as I can then turn my light off instantly and go to sleep (without having to walk from another room). This is what worries me about getting up in the night if I can’t sleep as I think that even if I start feeling sleepy, I will be fully awake by the time I walk back to my bed. I have always been a light sleeper and will wake up if I hear a noise or if my husband snores (or moves at all in bed). I sleep with noise masking earbuds which help block out noise but I can’t always control the noises that wake me up (other than sleeping in another room). The other thing that helps me fall asleep at the start of the night is listening to a hypnotherapy audio – even though I wake up to remove my airpods, I instantly go back to sleep and have a ‘heavy’ feeling.
Whenever I am awake at night, my brain is activated and it’s not necessarily related to stress or worry but I can’t seem to switch it off. I try to visualise lying on a beach or similar but that still involves effort as I am “trying” to fall asleep. So my specific questions are:
Firstly – is it ok to rely on reading or hypnotherapy to fall asleep? (noting I still have to be really sleepy at the time I do them so realistically I can stay up later until sleepy and then go to bed and read/hypno.
Secondly, I know that I will always wake a couple of times in the night regardless so are there some good techniques to quieten my mind that don’t involve getting out of bed? I do get this feeling that I have forgotten how to go to sleep and find that I am trying to not think about anything but that still requires effort. Funnily enough I have tried reading and hypnotherapy when I have woken during the night but neither worked (yet they work at the start of the night). I have only tried this a couple of times in the night and gave up after that.

[Martin Reed]

I think what can be helpful is to do something more pleasant whenever nighttime wakefulness doesn’t feel good.

So, we allow wakefulness to exist for as long as it feels comfortable and if it starts to feel uncomfortable, we have the opportunity to do something more enjoyable instead.

That more enjoyable activity might be something we do in bed or out of bed — I would simply be mindful of intent. The intent isn’t to make sleep or sleepiness happen since if that’s our goal, we are engaged in a sleep effort and they’re not helpful since sleep doesn’t respond well to effort.

The goal is simply to make unpleasant wakefulness more pleasant.

I hope there’s something useful here!

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Jacki]

Thanks Martin, that makes perfect sense

[Author]

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