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November 17, 2020 at 3:53 am #38460
Hello… Brand new to this forum.
I have no problem falling asleep at night. However for the last 10 years I have been waking up in the middle of the night every night and get various amounts of sleep after that.… However for the last two years it has been getting worse and worse. I don’t seem to have a racing mind with panic thoughts and worries. I am healthy, not overweight and I am not on meds. I don’t have sleep apnea and or physical problems breathing. This is quite perplexing… I have tried a lot of different things including completely ignoring it… any insights would be much appreciated.November 18, 2020 at 4:24 pm #38481Welcome to the forum, TripTrap! When do you usually go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep would you say you get on an “average” night? When you wake during the night, what happens next — how do you react to waking during the night?
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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
November 20, 2020 at 10:35 am #38487Hello Martin…thanks for replying….
I am 58 years old happily married.
Usually I am in bed right around 11pm.
Alarm goes off at 6am (but I am always already awake) and out of bed by 6:10am.I fall to sleep usually within 30 minutes or less no problem and most night wake up between 2-3:30am. From there I get little bits of sleep depending on the night. I try doing deep breathing/meditating or listening to a sleep story app. I have been trying to “accept” my insomnia and not fight it. Trying to be present and observe thoughts that pop in out of my head.
I am on no meds and no prescription sleeping pills as I know that will not work in the long run. I literally have a large plastic storage bin that is full of all the over the counter pills and potions that I have tried over the years. I could fill a shelf with all the books I have acquired. I have slept with my mouth taped shut and don’t have sleep apnea. I have light block out curtains, comfortable firm mattress and sleep in a separate room now so not to disturb my wife.
I don’t drink coffee anymore but do drink green tea in the mornings. No soda or processed foods. I’m not over weight and eat mainly a plant based diet. I exercise/workout 6 days a week in the mornings. I recently had a life insurance exam/bloodwork and they said I was one of the healthiest men in my age group they had ever seen. (No I did not tell them about my insomnia 🙂
I hardly tell anyone what I am going through and this is the most I have ever talked about it. I belong to no other sleep forums as I don’t want to obsess over it…but I realize I need to do something. Over the last few months my insomnia has been getting worse. My ears ring, my eyes sting…
One thing I have just picked up on yesterday is the need for more Vitamin D. From what I understand it effects sleep greatly and most people all deprived of it unless you work all day outside in the sun. Also the B vitamin complex is important for sleep from what I have read. I am hopeful this realization may be the solution.
December 4, 2020 at 3:16 pm #38626At the moment, it sounds as though you are scheduling around seven hours for sleep. Unless you typically get close to seven hours of sleep, you might be inadvertently setting yourself up for nighttime wakefulness. So, cutting back on the amount of time you spend in bed/allot for sleep at night might be helpful.
When you wake during the night, do you stay in bed? Does being awake in bed ever start to feel unpleasant? If so, there’s another opportunity there to help improve sleep over the longer-term by getting out of bed! This can help lower sleep-related worry/anxiety by giving you a more appealing alternative to staying in bed, while also preventing you from reinforcing a negative association between your bed and unpleasant wakefulness.
It’s not too surprising that all the things you mentioned haven’t proven to be helpful or effective — and that’s because they don’t help build sleep drive, strengthen the body clock, or lower arousal!
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
December 7, 2020 at 11:02 am #38659Hi Martin…just saw you replied and most appreciated!
Yes…I don’t get out of bed as most suggest as honestly I don’t have a lot of anxiety just laying there in bed. I know obsessing over lack of sleep is one of the main culprits for lack of sleep so I have been pretty good staying out of that trap. I feel if I were to get up I would simply be up and no chance of getting back to sleep. I do fall back to different amounts of sleep typically but not much. If I play a sleep story app I do often fall back to sleep but soon after it finishes I pop back awake. It has been years since the alarm clock has ever woke me up at 6am. I also rarely look at the time when I wake up in the night as again I know this is another trap.
I have played around with sleep restriction a little bit in the past but will take your suggestion and commit to it this time. I know it’s hell to go through but if one emerges with a cure on the other side it would be well worth it.
I am also now taking steps to meditate for short periods of time everyday to lower the arousal as you say.
Will let you know how it goes…thanks again for replying!
February 17, 2021 at 12:04 pm #39858Trip,
How has your journey been? Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I’ve been sleeping shorter and shorter for years. Always waking before my wife’s 5a alarm, but the the past 2-3 years it’s 1-2 hours before that. At it seems like that early wake happens no matter what bedtime is. I saw a sleep doc, and tried CBT-i, but sleep restriction (getting out of bed at these early awakenings), would rouse me a little too much as I waited to get sleepy again. So we worked on acceptance. Now I usually leave the bedroom to “rest” on the couch in the dark with a podcast on. Sometimes I get an extra sleep cycle, but sometimes not. Generally I do OK on 6+ hours, but it’s easy to not get that much too.
It’s hard because there’s not many resources or tips for sleep maintenance, how to build up sleep drive after you’ve lost it. And in a several year rut, it feels like the body has a learned behavior and the added anxiety waking at that time doesn’t help. But like you, just trying to keep my cool and not let it get to me.
February 17, 2021 at 3:20 pm #39861Hello guys!
Your stories are very similar to Harley’s, who found himself awake at midnight after going to bed at 10pm. Then we discovered he was trying to sleep after just 14 hours of wakefulness, when the usual healthy amount would be 16-18 hours to generate 6-8 hours of sleep. It is also very normal for people to sleep less as they get older but they still go to bed at the same time they did when younger, thereby alloting a longer sleep time than they actually need, resulting in lighter fragmented sleep. So when you woke up and found yourselves unable to sleep, how long do you stay awake and for how long do you sleep again if you could manage to? What time do you get out of bed in the morning? Then figure out how many hours are you awake before you go to bed at your present bedtime. Has it been at least 16 hours? If so, then try 17, 18 hours by going to bed later while keeping your out of bed time the same. Keep experimenting with going to bed based on the number of hours spent awake and not what time it is. You can go to bed later but not earlier. Keep working until you find your magic number. Good luck! -
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