[sjchris408]

Hey guys, I started applying the CBTi techniques 9-10 weeks ago. I’ve definitely seen success with reducing sleep onset insomnia so that now I’m able to fall asleep quickly almost every night. That in and of itself has been a huge win.

The struggle now has been waking up in the middle of the night, usually around 3-4 am, and not really being able to fully go back to sleep. I’ve tried SC; going out to the couch and meditating or listening to a podcast, but oftentimes it’s like I just don’t feel sleepy enough again to go back to sleep.

When it’s time to wake up, I feel the fatigue and know my body could use those extra 2-3 hours of sleep. I’m not sure what else to do?

[Scott]

It’s great to see that you’ve experienced continued progress in restoring your sleep! Are you continuing to implement a sleep window on a consistent basis? If you are relaxed and aren’t anxious when you have these awakenings, you’re free to remain in bed as long as conditions for sleep are good. Otherwise, finding another activity that’s more enjoyable than lying in bed being frustrated about the situation is recommended. In your previous posts, you mentioned having sleep-related anxiousness and managing those thoughts better – but are you experiencing some mind chatter when you wake during the night? Do these nighttime sleep disruptions make you anxious?

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[sjchris408]

Hi Scott, thanks for getting back to me. I started with a 6 hour sleep window (12:30-6:30) when I started CBTi a couple months ago. I’ve gradually increased it to about 7:15 (11:15 – 6:30) as my sleep onset reduced. Im usually very sleepy and hardly can make it to bedtime. The problem has been the 3-4 am wake-ups. At that point I feel much less sleepy and nerves can take over and result in wakefulness. Since it’s happened so many times and often I haven’t been able to get back to sleep, it’s gotten in my head. It’s not so much a terrible fear, more like an “ugh, not again, i’m probably not going to be able to get back to sleep and I’ll have yet another day of fatigue, brain fog, etc”. I try to meditate, PMR, etc but the results are often mixed getting relaxed enough to drift back to sleep. I try to do SC – going downstairs and listen to a podcast or something – knowing that it’s a long term strategy. But since I’ve been trying that for a couple months I’ve gotten a little dismayed by it. Not sure what else I can try. Before insomnia, I would often wake up I the middle of the night for various reasons, but I’d be able to fall back asleep almost every time.

[eleung2]

I’m having the same experience!

[Chee2308]

Try doing nothing! What did you do before insomnia when you woke up during the night? Probably got up to use the toilet and then straight to bed again. Try to rest even if you can’t sleep. Close your eyes and let your mind drift. Try not to care if you slept or not. Stop trying so hard to sleep! This is the common mistake I’m seeing people do. They do a ton of stuff which they never did before, hoping they can somehow make sleep happen. Try being okay with wakefulness of any kind. Your past history is your best clue. If you never had to do any stuff to get back to sleep, chances are you probably don’t need to now either. Good luck!

[Scott]

Those middle of the night awakenings can be frustrating and discouraging, but waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. Those awakenings aren’t really the issue though – it’s how we react to them that can generate anxiety or frustration and perpetuate your sleep issue. It’s understandable for you to want to go into, “I can fix this” mode when you wake but when we try to fix our sleep issue, sleep usually becomes more elusive! I wonder if meditating and the other exercises you engage in when you wake are efforts to generate sleep? Sleep happens, it can’t be forced, so the more we try to restore our sleep, the more it escapes us. If you think back to “before insomnia” time and compare it to your situation now, what is a major difference between the awakenings then vs what you’re experiencing now…probably the little (or no) effort you made to falling back to sleep versus all the time trying to fix it now?

Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[sjchris408]

Hi Chee and Scott, thanks for the reply. You’re right that before insomnia, I’d also wake up quite frequently in the middle of the night, but I didn’t think much of it and generally would go right back to sleep.

And Yes Scott I think that the meditations have become another sleep effort. I’ll try to really just not try anything special to sleep. Its hard to do when you’re in the moment, frustrated tossing and turning and want to just go back to sleep. But I probably just need to do less instead of more.

I appreciate the help!

[eleung2]

So notice the feelings of frustration/anxiety, remind yourself that sleep cannot be controlled and sleep efforts are counterproductive, and choose to not make more sleep efforts?

I’m worried it’ll be like a “don’t think about pink elephants” situation where that becomes all you can think about!

[Chee2308]

Hello @eleung2!

Allow yourself to think whatever your mind wants. Essentially, allow your mind to come in and strip search whatever it wants, nothing is off limits. When you say, “ok mind, pls don’t go there, don’t probe this area, it is forbidden!” That’s when alarms bells go off and warning lights start flashing. Your body is just trying to alert you to a danger that it feels is imminent and fatal when in reality, that “danger” is just you can’t sleep. Please teach yourself and your mind that simply not sleeping is not dangerous, and that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable and uneasy about it. Over time, you just get desensitized. Then the danger just feels unreal and you aren’t bothered by it anymore. Understand that your mind and body process all thoughts identically, regardless of whether they are sleep related or not. The difference is how seriously you take them and how compelled you feel the need to take some action over it. Good luck!

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