[Deb]

Make sure to follow the guidelines STRICTLY. You don’t want to give yourself a too big sleep window – just a half hour plus your average number of hours of sleep.  And you want to make sure you’re going to bed and getting up at the same time no matter how bad your sleep is. Don’t relax around either of these. It’s not worth it.

Last night I was so exhausted – the worst exhaustion that I have ever felt in my entire life. It felt like it was crushing me. But somehow I managed to keep myself up until the beginning of my sleep window at 12:00. I know SR works and when your sleep has stabilized within the smaller window, then you can increase it and it will become stable there as well. That’s what you’re aiming for – stability.

[dragon]

Aah ok thanks Deb.  I’m trying a window of 12:00 – 6:15 right now.  Yeah very hard to stay up until 12.  Feel like I’m dozing sometimes before that time.  Maybe that’s not good.

[Deb]

Yeah I doze off too sometimes as I’m sitting on the couch reading. Then I just shake my head and wake myself up again.

It’s also hard staying up that late because I hear my husband snoring in the next room and wish I could be in bed too!

Good luck!

[dragon]

Yep trying to do that too 🙂  Yeah wish I could go up at the same time as my wife.  Still trying to adjust to that too.

[Mac0908]

I’m not going to vent or rant here for the rest of the week, but I just had to say I have fallen back into a hole here some 4.5 months into my re-training. Its absolutely stunning just how powerful the brain is and how much we let it control us. As I said yesterday, I went an entire WEEK with good sleep recently, and then, suddenly, beginning last Thursday night, I fell into an absolute hole of insomnia again. Last night was now my FIFTH bad night in a row, and the first in MONTHS where I had a middle of the night awakening. Cannot even believe I’m saying that. I wasn’t even super anxious before bed, at all, on the surface. But underlying, it was obviously there. I’ll admit I’ve felt a few more than normal anxious nerves while going to sleep the last few nights though. Can someone please put me in my place and help me snap out of this?

[Deb]

Sorry you’re having a rough time, Mac. Did you change anything at all like your sleeping schedule?

Now that I’m back on SR I’m reminded again about how sometimes less is more. In other words, sometimes it’s better to have a tighter sleep window. Although you think you’ll have less sleep, you actually end up getting more sleep and better sleep. Today is my fourth day and after a rough start I’m already seeing results. Slept 6.25 hours last night.

You may want to reduce your sleep window to the number of hours you’re actually averaging sleeping. So for example, if you’re averaging 6 hours of sleep but are in bed for 8 hours, reduce it to 6 hours. Then when it becomes stable and you’re regularly sleeping through the whole night and not waking up early, then you can gradually increase it. As always, keep the sleep and wake time consistent. I don’t think you can afford to have a lot of flexibility until you’ve achieved stability.

Just my two cents.

[Mac0908]

Thanks Deb. Obviously I know all about SR and it’s rules. Its where I was at for quite a while at one point in the beginning of this. Yes, I’m aware less is more and all that jazz. All I know is this comes down to one thing and one thing only – anxiety and sleep  fear.

You could go to bed at 9pm every night and sleep in on occasion and be perfectly fine as long as you have zero anxiety about sleep. Remember those days before this all began for us? Remember when we never gave sleep any real second thoughts and before this hell was integrated in our brains? Point is, we can talk about SR, SC, ACT all we want and yes those ARE in fact the tools to get rid of the majority of our anxiety with regards to sleep, but what happens when most of the anxiety is gone like me? Just keep going in circles over and over until things reset? I mean this is crazy at this point IMO. I was doing so well. Got to a point of maybe 1-2 bad nights a week for a month. Then during that recent week of good sleep, wow, what a refreshed person I was. I was my old self for a full week for the first time in forever. Then suddenly, lord knows what happened. Went to bed one night as usual, had a bad night, and things absolutely spiraled. Now I’m at work again, venting on here, barely able to keep my eyes open, afraid to have a conversation with anyone, covering up my dark circles with makeup.

Meanwhile a week ago I was having visions of finally writing my success story on here.

[Deb]

So since you’ve been doing so well, then this is just a setback, which you will get over. Here’s Martin’s instructions on how to deal with a relapse:

• Accept that sleep disturbances will still occur
• See your relapses as due to identifiable causes such as stress and not as evidence of the return of insomnia
• Follow the strategies that were helpful to you before
• Don’t compensate for lost sleep – such as taking naps or going to bed earlier
• Sleep conditioning – get out of bed when you can’t sleep
• Follow a regular sleep window

[Mac0908]

Thanks Deb. I appreciate that. I guess I did leave out the fact that when this relapse began Thursday night, I was feeling a little under the weather (stomach bug). Same story Friday night. But by Sat I was fine. I guess my brain just let the two previous bad nights get to me, and here we are still days later. Sleep disturbances will still occur, yes. A bad night every once in a while is normal even for the good sleeper. But for me to fall back into a downright horrific spin of 5 nights is why I’m a bit up in arms here. I actually took a day off from work tomorrow (needed it anyway) so I can go to bed as anxiety free as possible tonight. Like so many times before coming out of a weekend, I bet you it will reset me a bit.

My problem is, and I know this might sound cocky, is I feel like I am over and past SRT at this stage. I’ve gone through enough of those short window nights of forcing myself to stay awake and everything that comes along with it. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I just need to figure out exactly how to battle potential relapses for after I have a bad night, or dare I say two, in a row. Martin, are you out there?

[dragon]

I guess I’m having problems with the SRT myself.  I’m not seeing progress on week 2.  If anything it’s caused me to be more anxious and I’m getting even less sleep.  Maybe I need an antidepressant.

[Deb]

An antidepressant might help. I’m on one now because my anxiety got so high.

I think you have hang in there Dragon. You’re only in your second week. Sometimes things get worse before they get better. You may want to hire Martin to help you. He can give you more support and advice than we can here. He can let you if what you’re going through is normal, how to deal with it, and how to keep going.

[dragon]

Do you feel the antidepressant has helped the anxiety at all yet?  I know you had mentioned you started not long ago.

I have a CBT-i specialist I’m seeing.  But yeah if that’s not working well, I might have to talk to Martin

[Deb]

I’ve only been on the antidepressant for a week and it takes 2-3 weeks to kick in. But my anxiety is already ramping down because I have confidence in this method and in Martin. And my sleep was much better the last two nights. I seem to take to SR well. When I did it before, I averaged 5 good nights out of 7 right from the get go.

[Deb]

The nice thing about working with Martin is that when you’re struggling or get stuck, you can talk to him right away via email or text unlike your CBT-I therapist who you probably see only once a week or less. He guarantees that he will respond within 24 hours and usually it’s a lot quicker than that. When you’re struggling, you don’t want to have to wait days or weeks before talking to someone and getting the help that you need.

For some encouragement, go to the thread: 6 months after completing Martin’s course

[dragon]

Thanks Deb.  Yeah I’m honestly struggling with the anxiety part of it even when exhausted.  Thanks that was encouraging.

[Author]

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