[delv-x]

Sorry I jinxed you!

Martin posted a good video about this.

It’s ok for your mind to wander about not sleeping but the key is to just observe like you say and try to casually think about other things like camping, beach, a trip you took or what you did that day. It doesn’t seem to be effective if I try too hard to visualize. If I just think about a trip I took or whatever casually it does help a bit to make my mind off. I guess a way to explain it is I am thinking about a trip because I am in the mood and feel like it rather than trying to change my thought if that makes sense. If I had a fun filled day it is much easier because Ill reminisce about it. Another thing is if there is a thought, maybe not only observing it and just letting it come as much as it wants will desensitize you and make it less “powerful”. It’s like milk milk milk! in the GM book.

 

[Deb]

Thanks.

[Deb]

Day 9 of ACT. Was totally exhausted all day yesterday. But the worst was the apprehension I felt all day about the coming night. I hate feeling controlled by fear! Anyway, decided I needed to regroup after the episode of “struggling” again to sleep the night before and go back to acceptance of whatever happens at night. Went to bed early at 10:15 because I could no longer keep my eyes open. Took awhile to settle down (30-45 minutes) – you know how it is when you’re overtired, it’s hard to relax. But then slept until 8:00 this morning. I’m lucky because I have my own business and make my own schedule. So I can sleep in when I want to. Feel good today. Basically over the  cold/flu bug as well. Also, the sun is shining today. We’ve had so much rain here lately it’s been depressing. There’s been some flooding in some parts too.

[delv-x]

I know all too well about being over tired and hard to relax. It feels like the longer I am up and tired, the more wound up I become. The past few days have been decent for me with over 85% sleep efficiency . Who knows how things will be tonight and the next few nights. If it’s good it’s good, if it’s crap it’s crap and Ill just keep moving forward. Glad you are over the bug. Weather does affect me. This fall and winter here was quite gloomy and depressing. It was getting to me. Being sleepy, frustrated, irritable and not having any sun and day after day of overcast.

*knock on wood* not trying to jinx myself but daylight savings time seems to be better for me. I am liking the later sunsets and I do almost always wake up earlier than I want to but that aligns better to my desired wake up time. So rather than it being 5:30, it is more like 6:30 which is better.

[Deb]

I live in northern Alabama which can get very nice this time of the year. Our springtime starts early. All the trees around here are budding already. Today it’s in the upper 60s. Going to a nearby park to take a walk. But the summers are hot and humid!

Just wondering, do you think you’re gradually getting better over time? Or do you think you’ve plateaued?

[delv-x]

I am in Ontario and spring arrives in May and it is short. Summers can be quite nice. Fall I would say is the best time of year here.

It’s hard to say. I’ve been logging my sleep for months and average sleep is about the same. I would say maybe 5-10% better but I would have to look and analyze the whole trend since the beginning. At the moment I think I’ve plateaued as my body wakes me up when it feels like and during the day I am ok. I do get bouts of sleepiness and tiredness but I just move along. Ideally, if I could average another 30-45 minutes that would be nice. I just don’t see that happening in the short term. I do generally feel better during the day though which is important.

My goal is to continue to stabilize and reduce the incidence of relapse. 5.5-6.5 hours of sleep seems to be what my body is capable of at the moment. 8hrs is out of the question. If I can eventually get to 6.5-7 that would be nice but again,  my concern is to try to have relatively predictable nights where I go to bed and wake up roughly at the same time without excessive tossing and turning.

[Deb]

That doesn’t sound like enough sleep. How much were you sleeping before the insomnia struck? I would aim for that as my goal if I were you. And 5-10% improvement doesn’t sound good. Something is not working.

Day 10 of ACT. Had an “ok” night. Did not fall asleep for some time, maybe an hour or even two. Have no idea how long. But eventually did fall asleep. But then woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep for awhile. Woke up this morning tired, but not too bad. The good part is that I didn’t have any worries or anxious thoughts all night. Maybe I already dealt with a lot of those boogie men last week when for the first time I was willing to stay in bed all night and accept whatever happened, including being willing to be awake all night.

Did some mindfulness practice last night before I went to bed. Felt peaceful before I went to bed, which was very nice. I wanted to be prepared in case I started to have a bad night again like 2 nights ago. Wanted to nip it in the bud, if possible, through mindfulness. I’m going to start doing the mindfulness exercises in the book 3 times a day, morning, afternoon and evening, like Guy suggests. This should help make the mindfulness at night easier as well.

Will continue to go the course of “giving up the struggle” with my insomnia, mindfulness, and acceptance of whatever happens. Hopefully over time, it will smooth the way for sleep to emerge naturally, instead of myself getting in the way by “trying to fall asleep.”

[delv-x]

Before I would go to bed around 11-11:30pm and wake up at 7:00am which is 7.5-8 hours in bed. Now I am going to bed at 12:00 or a bit later and out of bed at 7:00am. I’ve accepted the amount of sleep as it is and nothing is wrong. When my sleep efficiency is 85% or higher for a few weeks and compfortable, then Ill add 15-30 minutes. On occasion I can sleep for 8 hours. I just know that after a few nights of that I tend to relapse more.

Continue with the course!. I find mindfulness meditation helpful but I prefer to do it earlier in the evening to relax. If I do it right before bed, I find that I am associating it more with the act meditating to go to bed and not relax.

[Daf]

If you get 5 hrs sleep, then fine.

Average for older people about 6hrs, but like all things there is a distribution curve, so some may get as much as 8 hrs, some may get just four. Stop worrying about it. You are getting some sleep, you weren’t before. Some were getting nil sleep night  like me. It’s all an improvement, so try to stop worrying and start living, preferably, “in the moment”!

[delv-x]

I agree Daf. Lately I feel as awake/tired as before this all started. The way I see it is if I am tired then Ill most likely end up sleeping better and deeper at bedtime. I would rather take the sleep I have now vs nil sleep or much less Worrying does make it worse. Relaxing, spending time with friends and family, working out, video games, reading etc everything I used to do before I worried makes things better because I am living. Living makes being mindful easier and being in the moment easier.

I think when bad things happen or we worry, it is easy to be mindful about that because of the way it makes us feel. That feeling over time builds up stress, fight/flight response etc. When good things happen we seem to have more of a choice in how mindful we are and not as automatic/wired as when bad stuff happens. If we choose to be more mindful when good things happen I believe it can ease the stress, fight/flight response, cortisol you name it.

Trying not to get too deep into this but when good things happen over and over we may get desensitized and the law of diminishing returns come to play. If every day is going to Disney World with unlimited money then after a few days the fun and magic will no longer be as profound. I wonder if the reverse can apply. If you are exposed to more stress and bad news if the law of diminishing returns also applies and after awhile you just don’t worry or care about it as much which makes good news or experiences have a higher value.

I guess that’s why a component of mindfulness is about gratitude. We live in first world countries, comfy beds, have air conditioning, not in war time, don’t have to make fire from sticks and rocks and hunt and gather for our food. We should be reminded how good things are even when things kinda suck as well.

[Daf]

Once again, I’m in total agreement with you, which is nice because I think my philosophy differs from some others here – plus the extent of my sleep issues (if measured by actual sleep hours in the recent past – I often have had nil sleep at nights).

Yes, what you are saying explains why rich people are often unhappy, even some committing suicide etc.

Things are going v well for me now in all aspects of life, though I’m v busy. But it’s important to make time to sit and be quiet and have gratitude for all the blessings I have and all the difficulties overcome.  And take each day at a time, as I do this.

[Deb]

Day 11 of ACT. Slept most of the night, but not deeply. Remember dreaming a lot. Woke up this morning tired again. Oh well. Feels like a repeat of the first few days of last week, but the tiredness isn’t as bad. Think I’m still on guard for a bad night. Got to learn to relax and trust again. Probably just takes time.

[delv-x]

That’s good you slept of the night. Sorry to hear it wasn’t deep. If your body is really tired it “should” have brought deeper sleep once you are asleep. It will take time.  I had a 5 day streak of “decent” sleep but last night slipped a bit. I woke up around 4:30 and from then on until 7 was just laying, relaxing and maybe nodding in and out of light sleep. Hard to say. I remember my mind casually wandering to all sorts of neutral thoughts, being relaxed and really not worrying about what time it is or sleep but falling back to a good sleep didn’t happen. Today I am a little more tired and the band over my head feeling is back again.

Are you still logging your sleep in a diary, journal?

[Deb]

Yes, I’m keeping track of it. That’s good that you were relaxed and not worrying when you woke up early.

You would think I would sleep deeply because of the tiredness, but it doesn’t seem to work that way. I think that’s because on an unconscious level, I’m still not feeling completely safe in bed. It’s sort of like a soldier who comes home from battle. Even though he knows he’s finally safe, on an unconscious level he can’t completely relax. It takes awhile for the whole mind/body system to realize on a deeper level that he’s finally safe. So the insomnia is like a battle I’ve been going through for 5 months. So I can’t expect for my unconscious to believe overnight that I’m finally safe and can completely relax. It will take time.

[delv-x]

Yes I think it will take awhile. As long as you follow the routine and keep at it things will improve slowly but surely.

 

[Author]

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