[SpeedOfLight]

Hello,
I have a couple questions regarding the sleep restriction part of CBTi.
1. Do people do this who have to drive to work? I have to drive two miles every day to work and two miles back. It’s not a hard drive but I still worry about either dozing off or making a mistake caused by an impaired sleep-deprived brain. Given that it’s only two miles I could perhaps ask for an Uber or just walk if the weather is okay and I leave early enough, if I really don’t feel like driving.
2. Do people who try sleep restriction find they are overwhelmingly sleepy but refuse to go to bed before bedtime, then the drowsiness fades and doesn’t come back? This has happened to me before. I suppose after a while of sleep restriction you’ll get to a point where your body “gives up” and the drowsiness doesn’t go away?

[Pam1129]

I’m on week 5 of doing the sleep window, (i am in the six week course ),
Although it’s been brutal, it’s truly amazing how strong we really are on very little sleep… what the sleep window has helped me with. Is that instead of being in bed way too long ‘awake’ I’ve been able to enjoy , other things, watching tv. Listening to a podcast, I even made choc chip cookies at 9:00 pm , when I was usually in bed . I was going to bed around 8 maybe asleep till 10, laid in bed till 3 tossing and turning. Then chased sleep till finally getting up at 6 or 7
I’m still not getting much sleep, but I am working on accepting the thoughts and feelings that come
My window is 10-4 and I’m sleeping prob 2-4 hrs , but I believe so much in Martins philosophy, and that I too will one day be another’ sleepingsuccess story’ it sure makes the most sense for sure!
All this to say, I am functioning !! I am not falling asleep on my way to and from work or my friends ..
is this easy….. NO, but I’ve struggled for so many years, and done so many things to help rid me of this insomnia,
So with this course I’ve realized , that I have given WAYYY TOO much power to it!! I’m ready to move on, learn from
Martin and then sleeeeep☺️

[Chee2308]

The persons who try the hardest to sleep are usually the ones who find it the hardest to fall asleep. They will do all sorts of things like taking pills, do cbti, relaxations, or have a ton of sleep rituals before bed. They also have endless questions about sleep. In the end, they end up not sleeping well regardless.

Conversely, good sleepers hardly ever try. They are super relaxed and super lax about it. Sleep comes readily to those who actually don’t want or make a huge fuss about it.

Try to do less. Try to think less.Because all that is mentally stimulating enough to keep you awake. Don’t try to fix anything because fixing the problem actually becomes the problem in itself. Good luck.

[SpeedOfLight]

Unfortunately, Chee2308, I have tried the “just don’t worry about it” approach and it did not work at all. I have had many, many nights where I completely succeeded in not worrying about sleep and sleep still did not come. Even when I was a teenager, before I worried about sleep, it still took an average of an hour to fall asleep at night, I woke up a few times during the night, and had occasional nights where I couldn’t fall asleep until 1-2 hours before having to get up. When I was younger than that I would have periods where it took on average 2 hours to fall asleep.

CBT-i teaches you how to let go of negative thoughts and worries about sleep. Thinking about it isn’t a problem, it’s worrying and catastrophizing that’s the problem, which CBT-i addresses. There is no contradiction. CBT-i also strengthens your natural sleep system, meaning a little bit of stress doesn’t override sleep as easily as it will when having insomnia.

I don’t know all the ins and outs of how my sleep works. I will say this, though: you can’t convince me that the only difference between me and a good sleeper is that I try to sleep/worry about sleep and they don’t.

If “just don’t worry about it” works well for you, great. But understand that it is NOT a magical and profound piece of advice that works for everyone.

[Chee2308]

@speedoflight

I’m sorry to hear you’re still struggling. I can’t really say much other than what I’ve always repeated. Leave insomnia alone if you want it to leave you alone. Unfortunately, I think you and many others are plainly just not convinced.

It won’t happen overnight, of course. It’s a gradual process. You are making progress everytime you manage to let bit by bit go. You will get somewhere eventually. Best wishes.

[sleep]

the more we worry about sleep, the more difficult sleep becomes, and the more difficult sleep becomes, the more we worry. This is what Martin Reed says and it has sure been true in my case. I use to worry I would never sleep or I would have a heart attack or stroke if I did not sleep and this kept me from sleeping. Now I know I will sleep eventually which gives me much peace.

[SpeedOfLight]

I should say thank you to Pam for your response. I am doing sleep restriction now, and although I have driven to work every day so far, I have also verified that walking and Uber are options if I really don’t think my brain is there enough for driving on a given day. It is hard to stay up until bedtime but I am getting better at it.

I know from experience that simply ignoring insomnia isn’t enough for it to go away (for me). But I also know that sleep confidence is key for recovery, and I will thank Chee and “sleep” for assuring me that I can sleep well in the future. The components I’m doing with CBT-i are also helping me and teaching how to deal with negative thoughts. I recently posted this thread about dealing with negative thoughts:

How to deal with angry and catastrophizing thoughts?

, and even though that was only a couple weeks ago, I feel I am much better at this now.

[Martin Reed]

Hello @SpeedofLight 🙂

First, to answer your questions:

1. Sleep restriction: Do people do this who have to drive to work?

Yes. People with insomnia rarely fall asleep without warning during the day (they tend to be “tired but wired” rather than excessively sleepy). However, you are the expert on you and if it feels unsafe for you to drive then it’s important not to drive.

2. Do people find they are overwhelmingly sleepy but refuse to go to bed before bedtime, then the drowsiness fades and doesn’t come back?

This is very common. When there’s no effort or pressure to sleep (and your brain isn’t trying to protect you from the perceived threat of insomnia) conditions are good for sleep (and sleepiness). When you go to bed, one or more of those things (effort, pressure, perceived threat level) changes — and that can suppress the sensation of sleepiness.

Moving on from those questions, and to address the additional posts here:

You are clearly a powerful problem-solver, with superpowers of self-reflection, honesty, and curiosity. You’ve also learned a lot from your experience. These are all resources you can draw from as you continue to move forward.

Sleep confidence is great to have and sleep confidence isn’t needed for sleep to happen (just as breathing confidence isn’t needed for breathing to happen).

As your experience seems to tell you, it’s not really possible to “not worry”, “not think”, or “not care” about certain things — not genuinely and permanently, at least. The more you try, the more those things consume your focus, energy, and attention (and perhaps the more likely they are to create a struggle that makes things even more difficult).

Your experience tells you that when worry shows up, sleep might not happen. It also tells you that without worry, sleep might not happen. So the presence worry itself doesn’t seem to be a factor in whether or not you’ll get the amount or type of sleep you want to get.

So, something else must be at play here. Can you recall a time when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern for you? If so, what did you do to make it happen so effortlessly?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts