[Jacob]

Hi guys. Its next week, that i try to wake up later. Now i go to bed around 0:30 am, but still waking up around 4 am. Like yes, before i wake up between 2 – 4 am, but go to bend in 10:30 pm so i have 4 – hours of sleep. Now i sleep only 3-4 hours in tryin to relearn how to wake up later. But still i wake up befor my alarm in 5:30 am.

What should i do to wake up on my alarm? Should i go sleep later like 1:30 am?

From my observation lesser i sleep more stressed i am. Its very simple matematics. In the days when its summer and i have vaccatination, i eynjoy life and i sleep 6 or more hours, but when i go to work, i am more tired a exhausted physically and mentally which put preassure on my nervouse system and that preassure is manifested in inner arousal, which wake me up early before alarm.

And more i think i will wake up early, more stressed i am, and even if i manage to fall asleep easily a wake up early because of that inner arousal.

What i feel l need is two thing to be more mentally calm – more sleep and having certainty and life experiance in waking up on my alarm. Its vicious cycle. More confidient of unsure i am about my sleep more or less i sleep 😀 Like i wrote, its simple matemathics.

So my question is. How to dont care about my sleep? I still thinking about it during a day -, about will i manage to wake up on my alarm? Should i simply go to bed later for having that waking up on my alarm experience a certainty? Or is there something else i can do for put mysefl in that sleep confidient dont care about my sleep mode?

I worry that even if i manage to wake up later, the second i try to go to bed earlier, i will automatically wake up earlier because of that inner mental arousal and constant sleep caring.

I am confused. Because i need that life experience of having enough troubleless sleep for to be in dont care mod, but cannnnot have that feel experiance because of that caring issue 😀 😀

So i am confused what to do. Should i going to bed later? Should i try to go to bed in the same time for next week and see resoults? Or should i try to start going bed earlier for having more sleep and have faith that my cyrcadian rythm is more set on later waking up?

Middle option seems for me like i way. But like i said i am little confused about what should i do for lowering my sleep effort and getting myself into dont care mode.

I dont have much trouble to fall asleep, but to stay asleep 🙂

Thanks for any advise. You are best guys 🙂

[hiker]

Hi Jacob, I can relate to your sleep anxiety.

Martin put out a really good email a few days ago, entitled “fear of insomnia,” which covers what you are going through.

As for the mechanics of when to sleep, how long to stay in bed, etc., check out this website for Martin’s tips. (I don’t work for him, by the way!)

Your central question—how to get where you “don’t care”…..when you also want “more certainty” about sleep. I dealt with this for many years before I learned about stepping back and noting my anxious thoughts, instead of getting completely absorbed in them. Not that it works all the time: it is natural to want to wake up rested, and it is disappointing when that doesn’t happen. But for the most part, when I wake up early, I note that I am anxious about waking up early, and note that I am worried I won’t get back to sleep.

There is a huge difference between:

1. “Insomnia is ruining my life”; and

2. “I’m having the thought that insomnia is ruining my life.”

I do not try to get into the mode of not caring whether I get back to sleep. Because to be honest with myself, I do care. Instead, I acknowledge that I am having thoughts about sleep, that I would prefer to get back to sleep. But that if I don’t, I can make it through the next moment. Not fun, but I have done it before. And I cannot force myself to sleep: trying harder works for most stuff in life, but not here.

All of this is about mindfulness, which I know is sort of a fad these days. But it has been around for 3,000 years or so. You might want to check it out, eg. palousemindfulness.com

Hang in there, Jacob. You are not alone in this.

[Author]

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