[Katyh]

I have been struggling with insomnia since the birth of my son 4 months ago. I have had a lot of anxities and worries about sleep that rear their head in the evening or bedtime. Some nights these are worse than others and often depends on how my nights have been. I am just finishing 6 week course of restrictive sleep course from my doctor. I can definitely see improvements like.i am now not using sleeping pills and realize I can get off to sleep on my own. However I’m only managing about 3 hours on average because I just cannot get off to sleep. I have tried getting out of bed technique. The funny thing is the hour ir two leading to my scheduled bedtime i am SO tired and struggling to stay awake but when I go to bed im awake.
This is my last week of rs and im a bit disappointed as not sleeping more than 3 hours and had my first sleepless night again after going a week without one.
I really want to get back to Sleeping without thinking about it or it consuming my day- like my sleep before I had my baby.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum! Parenthood is a common trigger for sleep disruption — many people with chronic insomnia are able to trace back their initial sleep disruption to that time of their lives and I think sleep disruption at that time is quite normal and to be expected!

For most people, sleep gets back on track once we’ve adapted (and once our little ones start to sleep a bit more predictably!) but for some of us, our sleep doesn’t seem to recover — and that’s usually because the way we think about sleep changes and because of the completely understandable new behaviors we implement in a bid to improve our sleep that actually backfire and perpetuate sleep disruption!

So, with this in mind, I am so encouraged that you have been implementing a technique that is intended to help build sleep drive and reduce unpleasant nighttime wakefulness (and the worry and anxiety that goes along with that) — namely, sleep restriction.

It’s so encouraging that you have noticed definite improvements and I think the fact you are no longer using sleeping pills and you feel that you can fall asleep on your own are two big indicators of your progress!

If you find that you are struggling to stay awake before the start of your sleep window but then find it hard to fall asleep, this suggests that some conditioned arousal might be present. How does it feel when you are in bed, waiting for sleep to happen? If it feels pleasant, relaxing, and good to be in bed waiting for sleep, then I’d say that there’s no need to get out of bed — because conditions are right for sleep!

If, however, being in bed doesn’t feel good, that can be a good time to get out of bed and do something more appealing instead. If and when you feel sleepy again, you might then return to bed and repeat this process as necessary.

Not only does this give you a more appealing alternative to staying in bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good, but it also prevents you from reinforcing a negative association between your bed and unpleasant wakefulness — something that reinforces conditioned arousal.

Conditioned arousal occurs over time, so just as it might have taken time for your mind to associate the bed with unpleasant wakefulness rather than sleep, it will take some time (albeit usually less time!) to associate it with sleep (or pleasant wakefulness). We do this, ultimately, by only being in bed when asleep or when conditions are right for sleep.

Finally, you said you really want to stop thoughts about sleep from consuming your day — if you remain as active and engaged in enjoyable and enriching activities as possible during the day, your mind will have something other than sleep to focus attention on (and you have the bonus of improving the quality of your days — and life, too)!

I hope this helps.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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