[delv-x]

I am not one to really have depression but I can say that the lack of sleep is taking a toll on how I feel mood wise and just feel glum and hopeless at times. I do find the nights I don’t care and just go to bed and if I wake up and don’t care I sleep the best. It’s just hard that one or many days Ill feel that way and then boom, I go on a streak of anxiety and over thinking.

[Deb]

Just when I think I’m doing good I have an all nighter. I’m a zombie today. My sleep patterns seem so extreme. I either sleep all night from the moment my head hits the pillow, or I’m up all night like this or at least half the night. I hate this. Of course it makes me worry that I’ll never get over this because I can’t seem to break this pattern. I can’t just lie in bed for 20-30 minutes like a normal person and eventually fall asleep. I have to stay up all night instead.

[delv-x]

Sorry to hear Deb. We are still here cheering you on. My patterns are extreme as well. Ill get days or weeks of satisfactory sleep and then a wave of really bad nights. The past few nights were rough. Last night I decided to try Calm Sleep which includes melatonin, GABA and L-Theanine. My sleep was better and although I woke up in the middle of the night I refused to look at the time and just go back to bed. I ended up falling asleep and waking up like hundreds of times so it seems. Lots of dreaming. Overall I did sleep more than previous nights. The only issue I’ve found with this product is it makes me quite groggy in the morning.

I think we are in the same boat with worry. Once the worry starts to kick in, it’s almost like game over until we get back into the swing again. I think we are in high risk for relapse.

 

[dragon]

Yep it’s for sure the worry (and anxiety) I agree.  Guess we have to be more accepting and not let it bother us as much, but it’s much easier said than done.

[delv-x]

@dragon. Yes easier said than done. When I am not bothered by it things are better. It’s just hard not to relapse when things are going well and then you get a bad night sleep and then get derailed.

[dragon]

Yep totally agree, same thing happens to me every time too

[Mac0908]

Deb I’m really sorry to hear you are struggling today… it might not seem like such uplifting words but at least your sleep problem by far isn’t as bad as it could be. Yours is down to one issue and one issue only. Being unable to fall asleep. Let me ask you this… First, do you think it might be better to go back to your 12a-6a window? Second, since for you its just about falling asleep, have you ever tried any of that sleepy time herbal tea or dare I say a drop of Nyquil here and there? While I am 99% anti sleeping pills/liquids, I will say that in my near 2.5 year research I’ve seen MANY cases of people being cured after they temporarily used something semi-innocent in order to get to just get to sleep which in turn helped their confidence and reduced their sleep anxiety.

[Deb]

Thanks for all your support, everyone. The sleep window won’t make a difference. The thing is that I am COMPLETELY exhausted every night, even with the 6.5 hours of sleep. Most of the times recently I have been able to narrowly escape the sleep demons but sometimes I just don’t for whatever reason. I’m still exhausted, but the sleep demons take over. So it’s not related to not being tired enough. It’s just once the demons have their foot in the door, they push themselves all the way in and then like last night, they party all night!

I finish working with Martin this week. If in a few weeks I still have this one problem, I will seriously consider trying Guy Meadow’s program. Their main focus is on dealing directly with the anxiety, to reduce and eventually eliminate it, so I wouldn’t have to always be running away from it as fast as I can.

[Mac0908]

Deb you had one bad night here. Recently you’ve been doing very well from what I recall. I would not panic right now. Relax. Think about all the good nights you’ve been having lately. You said it yourself his program has been working for you overall. There’s no such thing as a recovering insomniac going full steam ahead with not a single bad night here and there.

[Deb]

Yes, thank you.

[Deb]

Mac, thank you for being level-headed and telling me like it is. Upon reflection (and also responding to Martin) I realized that there was something that contributed to last night’s all nighter. First of all, I was tired yesterday. Sometimes the way I deal with this is to get wired, operating on adrenaline to get myself through the day. So I think I was still a little wired last night. Also, the last few times I couldn’t sleep I got up once or twice but by 3:00 I would give up on getting up and then would fall asleep. It didn’t work this time. I just lay there for the rest of the night.

So there was a cause and effect, just like it was for you the other day, not something random that I have no control over.

I will get back on the wagon.

[Mac0908]

Well guess who had a bad night? And guess who only has himself to blame? Unique scenario last night. After almost 1.5 months of my SRT and after 2 weeks with only 2 bad nights in those 2 weeks, I finally did it. I finally tested the waters. I went to bed extra early, 10pm. The earliest I’ve gone to bed in the 1.5 months. Anxiety was low. Felt good. Was tired, but not shot. Again, this was a test.

Woke up 3am!! Went in and out of BS REM sleep for the next 2 hours before waking up at 5am, an hour before my alarm. Shot to hell today. Zombie personified. So, yup, that was a fail. Back to the grind I go. Maybe I can do my next test in 2020  ((cringe laughs))

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.

[delv-x]

@Mac

I guess the million dollar question is if you would have had a similar night if you went to bed at your prescribed time just simply more condensed. Sorry to hear you had a crap night. Mine was on the crappy side of things. Felt like light in and out sleep for the second part of the night. Woke up about an hour before I should have and felt anxious. I am wondering if my cortisol levels are too high. Who knows.

[Deb]

Awww…Mac. Sorry it didn’t work! But I guess you learned something. Still need to go the course.

Me too. Am realizing the hazard of success. When you’re up, then the fall down from there really hurts! That was me yesterday with my discouragement.  I had had only one bad night the previous week only missing 2 hours of sleep the entire week. Was hoping I would beat that record and have no bad nights this week. But alas. So I was both a physical and emotional wreck yesterday. Wanted desperately to fall asleep at 8:00. But after spending some time with my husband, managed to get a second wind and stayed up till just before 12:00. Slept all night. Yay!

[Martin Reed]

I love that you are sharing your ongoing experience with the techniques you are implementing, Deb! Every time a bad night happens (which for you, is becoming rarer and rarer over time), you do feel down — and this is normal and understandable. However, you commit to the techniques and trust them, and you are rewarded with renewed, ongoing improvement. Congratulations on the good sleep last night. To be honest, I was confident that this was exactly what was going to happen!

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