[Amandalea]

Hey to everyone out there:)

I´m new here and so thankful, that I found Martins Youtube Channel and this forum. I am a 23 years old students from Munich, Germany (so maybe my English isn’t the best) and I´m suffering from Insomnia since around 4 years.. I am now at Day 6 of the 2 weeks online course and I´m really committed to change things, but be patient with myself at the same time. There’s one thing, that I would like to ask, maybe someone out there has the same struggle and found a way how to deal with it. I am actually a very social person, who’s rather extroverted and likes to meet new people etc, but in periods of really bad Insomnia it’s so difficult for me to connect to new people, even if I would actually like to. My friends know me and the problem quite well, so I feel comfortable meeting them even if I had a really bad night for example. But with new people I am always very anxious making plans, because I never know how I will be feeling that day. But so far I learned from Martin, that we should actually not let Insomnia control our life by giving up things we used to like (like getting to know new people in my case for example). So my question to you: How do you deal with those events (for example when there is a date coming up etc.)? Do you tell new people about your Insomnia or not? Especially when people ask to go out at night I find it difficult, if I should tell them the truth (actually I´m not that into partying anyway and also I want to try establishing a rhythm by getting up every morning at the same time..). On the one hand I do not want to be identified as an Insomniac, on the other hand I feel like being honest with this problem would take away some pressure from me, so I don’t really know how to handle this. Maybe someone could share his/her experiences with that and what works the best for you:)

[Scott]

I’m glad to see that you’ve found the resources on this site and on Martin’s YouTube channel to be beneficial!

It really boils down to – would you rather have fun socializing with friends, meeting new people and experiencing life with a possibility of experiencing some sleep disruption or stay home in an attempt to salvage whatever sleep you can get that night? I wonder if we elect to stay home if we heighten our awareness of our poor sleep and put too much effort in trying to sleep instead of just allowing it to come naturally?

Scott

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[Amandalea]

You are absolutely right with the point of heightening of our awareness of poor sleep by staying home, I think as a consequence we identify more and more with having insomnia, which makes it worse and puts as into a negative cycle. Thanks a lot for your answer!:)

[Chee2308]

Hi @amandalea
Your question is an interesting one because I also faced a similar senario years ago. Basically I told myself I have 2 possible choices (going out or not) and 4 possible outcomes:
1. I don’t go out and sleep well.
2. I don’t go out but still sleep poorly regardless.
3. I go out and have a great time. But it may mean I mess up my sleep so I sleep poorly.
4. I go out and have a blast. Then come home with a huge smile and then sleep really well!

I realized if I choose 1 or 2, I’d always lose out no matter how I slept that night. I’d deprived myself the chance of enjoying myself and still not able to guarantee a good night sleep. Whereas if I chose 3 or 4, I always win no matter the outcome, plus the chance of sleeping great would be an added bonus. So guess what?? I chose to go out and slept really well that night because I forgot all about my insomnia and told no one about it.

Years from now, how would you choose to reminisce this moment? Would it be how well you slept that night or how much fun you had with your friends? You decide ?.

[Amandalea]

That’s so helpful to keep in mind, makes totally sense to me! Thanks a lot:)

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