[Jasalan3]

I’ve started to deal with anxiety for the first time 6 years ago. I went though a very difficult time with symptoms. Since then I’ve been good, until 3 months ago. My biggest issues are falling asleep and staying asleep. I will finally fall asleep after about 1.5 hours of trying. Sleep for 4.5 to 5 hours and then wake back up. Of course it takes me 1.5 hours to fall back to sleep. I constantly feel my heart pounding while I’m trying to sleep so I know this is anxiety, I just don’t know how to fix it. Never had a sleep issue before so this bugs me. I came to insomnia coach for help as it feels like there’s not much out there!!!

[hiker]

Hi Jasalan3—first off, don’t think that because no one has responded to your six-day old post, that no one cares. There are a lot of posts. It’s important to check out other ones and the replies. You will find that the same messages resonate throughout, and that they apply to you, too.

Okay, anxiety and insomnia. Lots of times this can start with a specific event, that anyone would be anxious about. Getting laid off, busted relationship, money worries, a mean thing somebody said to you, even remembering something unpleasant from months or years ago but it is sticking with you. And then even if you resolve it, e.g. hey, lots of people get laid off, I can get another job–still, once the insomnia moves in, it can hang around on its own.

I note that you are monitoring how long you are lying there unable to sleep, which makes me suspect that the insomnia alone is just feeding on itself, that it doesn’t need a specific situation anymore.

And Martin’s course addresses this, so that could be a good way to go. It comes down to thoughts. Thoughts about anything–why did she say that, what’s wrong with me, etc etc.

So what to do with all these thoughts. This is the easier said than done part, but with practice, you can develop this skill—not trying to banish the thoughts, instead just acknowledging that they are there. And that they are just thoughts. Believe me, I know that when they are really powerful and nasty, you feel they must be true, and they must lead somewhere, they must mean I should do this or that. But it’s just the insomnia talking.

There is an enormous difference between:

—I can’t sleep, I can’t live like this anymore, I wish I was dead; and

—I’m having the thought that I can’t sleep, that I can’t live like this anymore; I’m having the thought that I wish I was dead.

It can be hard to see the difference when you are hammered from lack of sleep. But many of us have been down this road. Know you are not alone here.

[Spindledog]

I want to agree with hiker on everything, especially about the thoughts and feelings and the need to practice and develop the skills to deal with that. I think that is the best part of Martin’s course. He gives techniques, the opportunity to practice and personal feedback to you on these skills. Sounds like you have been able to make progress with some of your sleep difficulties, but one should not have to struggle with the distractions of thoughts and feelings all by oneself. I am in Martin’s course and recommend it. One needs to commit to do this with a sleep coach’s help and really get rid of so much struggle. I sympathize with you and the 1.5 hours ‘trying’ to go to sleep. It’s awful. I have been there in agony, wondering what to do.

[Author]

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