[Liselise]

My biggest challenge has been to fall asleep. The last months it has at times taken up to 4-5 hours, and other times no time at all. This has been a more or less consistent pattern since end of may. And I have generally slept between 4-6 hours on an average.

Also in the past, when I didn’t have a chronic problem, I got quite upset if I missed a night or a few nights of sleep. So the worry has been around off and on for some years, but only caused me temporary sleep-loss, not on a consistent basis (like the last months). I’ve been quite worried about not being able to sleep, and attached to the thought that; If I don’t sleep well I will not function and be miserable (and look miserable), and my relationships and mood will suffer. Which to a certain degree is true, as I do feel less happy and rested, but I have in the past made drama out of it. Not wanting to see anyone, crying, thinking something is wrong with me, being angry at my partner, almost to the point of blaming him or making him feel guilty (I know quite egocentric), and of course angry and upset at myself.

Why would I do this to myself and the people I love? When I write this it seems like I’m punishing myself and the people I love, because I can’t sleep: And on the other side is my feelings of shame, hopelessness and feelings of being unormal. It’s quite exaggerated that I have been responding so emotionally and created so many thoughts around something that is a physical and natural process?

Does anyone have similar experiences, and how did you overcome them?
Thank you 🙂

[Joyous56]

Oh, gosh, I totally get it!

I always assumed that I should just fall asleep after going to bed, and wake up easily, all perky and ready for the day.

When I started having trouble falling asleep and/or waking up before I wanted to and not falling asleep again, I started to worry. After turning off the light, I’d worry that I might not fall asleep, so that kept me awake. If I woke up and had to go to the bathroom, I’d worry again that I wouldn’t fall back to sleep.

I didn’t think that sleep should require any though – we’re just supposed to do it! Then I learned about sleep Hygiene, and realized I do have to think about it, a bit. Like most people, I didn’t want to change. I’d go up to bed, start watching TV with my laptop, and when I’d turn off the light, I couldn’t sleep.

At some point, I decided that lying in bed, even if I didn’t sleep, would at least give my body some rest, and I might even fall asleep at some point. That was good for me.

After some minor reseach, I found out that my bed is for sleeping, so eventually – it took awhile – I got the TV out of the bedroom, and left the laptop downstairs. I subscribed to the daily emails from InsomniaCoach. I tried Sleep Restriction Therapy.

I still have trouble sometimes falling asleep and sometimes waking up early, but I’ve stopped the worrying. I found out (from the emails) that as we get older, many of us actually need less sleep, so if, sometimes, I only get 5 or 6 hours of sleep, worrying wouldn’t help. I’ve adjusted my hours in bed, but mostly I’ve adjusted my expectations. I don’t need 8 hours of sleep, so if I get fewer, it does no good for me to lay awake worrying about it.

[Martin Reed]

We all have automatic thoughts during the day (and night!) that can seem completely accurate when we first have them but if we take some time to evaluate them we can see that they are rarely as accurate as they first seem — and this can strip them of their power to generate a powerful emotional response.

So, don’t blame yourself for having these thoughts — just continue to recognize that they are just thoughts and that they aren’t even particularly accurate!

You might find this video helpful: What to do when anxious thoughts are making sleep difficult and leading to insomnia.

Are you implementing cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques to help address the behavioral side of insomnia?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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