[amandamcgovern9]

i just cant take this anymore

ive just released i havent slept at all tonight. ive just been lying there unknowingly not sleeping, but because im so exhausted i didnt even release.

its so hard to accept insomnia when, factually, sleep is definitely important for your mental and physical health – those are the facts, why is there such a big deal made out of sleep if it isnt important? ive had insomnia for 3 months now, still “living my life” as i always would, but im at breaking point which isnt normal, and i think its because of not sleeping properly. meant to be going out tonight but i dont know if i can, i feel sick, im angry, im depressed, im not okay.

did you know a lot of celebrity deaths are linked to insomnia? ive been watching so many videos about how celebrities died, about 4 of them now all had chronic insomnia, just like me. it just feels like i am the acceptation with my sleep not being broken, how the hell did i go to bed, tired, not thinking too much about sleep, only to release at 5am i havent slept a wink. i cant afford this course, so im just totally screwed and ruined i suppose. please for the love of god please help me

[hiker]

Hi Amanda, I am sorry that you are having such a tough time.

It can be so hard to think straight when we’re hammered by insomnia. Still, I see a lot of solid advice in the posts you have received. I know when I am really tired, it can be hard to slow my brain down to where I can actually read and absorb what people are telling me. I hope you can go back and read them again, just taking your time and not putting more pressure on yourself.

I would add one point. If I am reading between the lines correctly, it sounds like you get off a sleep schedule sometimes with partying. Sorry if I am off base here–disregard if I have this wrong. But if you are drinking a fair amount, especially late at night, it is a surefire way to botch up your sleep. I know from experience that while drinking definitely helps in the short run, it gets shorter and shorter.

Finally, you have written more than once that you don’t feel you can take it anymore. I totally get it, and I gave suicide a lot of consideration as a way out. If you are, calling a crisis line is a good plan. Google Crisis Line and it may take a little bit of rerouting, but you will find you are not alone in this. I used to work on one, and I think there is a new access number: 988. In any event, trust me on one point: these are people who want very much to talk with you, and you can be very candid and not worry about whether they can handle it. They can.

Like Scott says, setbacks can be disheartening. Unfortunately they seem to be part of the process. But no matter how bad it has gotten, you are not condemned to poor sleep forever. I know it can feel that way, but feelings are often not a very good barometer of the way things are. Yes, they are strong and so they seem convincing, but again, this can be the insomnia talking, things get so distorted.

I hope you can stick with this forum. Take care.

[Author]

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