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I’m a male in my mid 40s and like many of you probably have to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I do that but massively struggle to get back to sleep. It’s the 3am scaries … my brain starts telling me I can’t get back to sleep, or I start ruminating on things from the prior day or next day. Or my feelings that I am alone really intensify. (I don’t share a bed right now with my wife bc of sleep problems.) then I think about how she’s sleeping and I’m up feeling with this barrage of negative thoughts which my brain thinks is helpful to generate. (I know it’s just watching out for me, thx). So what I do many nights is then take a sleeping pill to knock myself out. Has anyone gotten over this?
I have done 6 weeks so far and still struggle with this. I try the AWAKE during the night and NOW exercises during the day. I still wake up around 2-3 am. My anxiety has not improved. I am still working on acknowledging and allowing them. Is anyone else this far along in the course still struggling with this?
Hello @whitintx and welcome to the forum! To clarify, what do you mean by “gotten over this” — what, specifically, are you looking to achieve?
@ktMD — It sounds like your experience is reminding you that thoughts and feelings (such as anxiety) are out of your control. So, for as long as you are trying to change, fight, avoid, or
“improve” what you think or how you feel, you are going to continue to struggle. With that in mind, what’s the opportunity presenting itself to you?—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Martin, thank you for your response. I do have resistance. It feels like work to allow these negative thoughts/feeling. But I know that struggling against them definitely does not work.
Developing new skills requires work and that work is worth it because you know that struggling against difficult and/or uncomfortable thoughts doesn’t work — and struggling requires even more work and effort and creates even more difficulty.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Am I the only one having this resistance? How do I deal with the resistance? I don’t feel like it’s serving me in any way.
There is resistance because you still see there’s a problem. The problem exists because your mind defines it. Simply saying you are accepting it isn’t enough. Because being convinced that there’s actually no problem is another entirely different matter.
“I still wake up at x or y o’clock” – you automatically define it’s a problem waking at x or y, and you will continue to struggle indefinitely because you will keep waking up at whatever time, as this is a normal physiological component of sleeping.
If you can forget there’s a problem, your insomnia will disappear. That’s the weirdest thing about insomnia. When you don’t define or identify with it, it’s no longer there.
I guess I’m still seeing it as a problem. Getting rid of that last bit of resistance is difficult for me. How do I do that?
Philosophically, what is the difference between an unfixable problem and not a problem? Take for example, everyone’s impending mortality. Yes, everyone doesn’t like it but what can they really do about it other getting on with their lives at the end of the day? Or should they become perpetually sad and miserable over something they have very little control over? It becomes a matter of perspective.
Stop being petty. Especially when it comes to sleep. You only get disappointed and perpetually dissatisfied in the end.
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