[rfm2]

I developed insomnia about 3 months ago, with both sleep onset and sleep maintenance issues. It started due to me trying to force 8-9 hours of sleep due to reading about supposed long-term sleep-related health issues, when I’ve always been completely content with 6-7 hours. Unable to “perform”, I started developing anxiety which then made everything much, much worse.

Since discovering Insomnia Coach two evenings ago, I started trying sleep restriction which has already eliminated the sleep onset issue, but I keep awaking at 4am after only 3.5-4 hours of sleep. I get out of bed within 30 minutes of not being able to fall back asleep, but never feel sleepy enough to return to bed.

My sleep window is 12:30am-6am. Am I doing something wrong?

[James Cahoon]

Sounds like you’re waking up after your 2 primary sleep cycles, which is pretty normal. Those first two cycles are the most important and it’s not as easy to go back to sleep for the third cycle, so if anything you’re probably just too attached to going back to sleep.

The problem right now is likely that falling back to sleep is important to you, and I’m not sure what technique you’re using to make it happen but it’s likely sabotaged by that.

I’d recommend having a routine you can do at 4am that will add to your life and make you excited to be awake at that time. That way, if you don’t fall back to sleep in 30 minutes, it’s no big deal, which will make getting back to sleep less important, and that should allow any techniques your using to work better. During those 30 minutes, the technique I used to use was listening to interviews or documentaries to keep my mind off falling back asleep (since, if you try to fall asleep, it won’t happen. If anything it’s better to try forcing yourself to stay awake.)

[Jonathan618]

“I get out of bed within 30 minutes of not being able to fall back asleep, but never feel sleepy enough to return to bed.”

If this were my body, not being sleepy, I would interpret this as, I am done with sleep. Let us go be active.” For me my body will wake me up to get a drink of water, but I am still sleepy, so I go back to bed. It was not always like this. I trained myself back to this. When I woke up at 4 am, I got back into bed and even if not tired I just used the Mantra, I am just resting and made myself believe it. I did not seek sleep just to rest in peace and quiet. Eventually, after many I am just resting mantras, I would fall asleep. Did it last night and it worked well.

[Martin Reed]

The way you developed issues with sleep is, unfortunately, becoming increasingly common due to the way sleep is being portrayed in the media. If you haven’t done so already, I think you’ll find a lot in common with Scott — he slept fine until he listened to a podcast and tried to get more sleep. Fortunately, he sleeps well now.

You can hear (and watch) his story in Episode 4 of the Insomnia Coach Podcast.

Are you checking the clock when you wake around 4:00 AM? If so, I would suggest that you avoid doing this since it only ever leads to a negative outcome — sleep-related worry or frustration.

Waking during the night is completely normal. Checking the time when we wake isn’t. When we check the time we can then worry about how much time we have left to fall asleep — and this worry makes it harder to sleep. We can also exert effort into falling back to sleep but the implementation of sleep effort actually makes sleep more difficult.

So, I’d suggest sticking with a consistent and appropriate sleep window, giving yourself “permission” to wake during the night (because waking is a normal part of sleep), and not checking the time when you wake.

It’s fine to remain in bed if you feel calm and relaxed — since conditions are right for sleep. If you start to feel worried/anxious/frustrated or start tossing and turning, then it’s usually a better idea to get out of bed and do something relaxing and enjoyable until you feel calm again.

Stay committed and consistent, and you will start to fill that sleep window with sleep and enjoy more consistent sleep. It usually takes closer to a few weeks than a few days to notice significant improvements when implementing CBT-I techniques.

I hope this helps.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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