[fromdebal]

I had been a good sleeper all through my life. I never thought sleep can be an issue of my life, until May 2022. I was having lower abdominal pain, and I google too much on it, and started worrying. From that night onwards, my sleep duration started to become less and sleep became lighter. In top of it, some family problems led to 3 complete sleepless nights in June. That led to this viscious cycle of anxiety, sleeplessness, daytime fatigue and overall inconfidence related to sleep. Starting from Sept, I had to have clonazepam0.5. Still I couldn’t have 6 hrs of sleep (in the last 6-7 months I just had 2 nights of 6 hrs sleep). On an average I have 4-5 hrs of sleep with a day or two of exception of 2-3 hrs of sleep. My doctor is recommending higher dose of clonazepam. However, since I don’t like medication, my current strategy is to reduce the dose if I have a few consecutive days of 4 – 5 hrs of sleep. Thus I have reduced my dose to 0.2. 3 days ago, I came across this site and this series of podcasts, which gave me confidence. Last night I tried to go to bed without medication, but at 1 am without a minute of of sleep, I panicked and had the medication, but couldn’t sleep at all even after the medication. Today I am feeling a bit of anxiety whether I am going back to the viscious cycle again. Trying to find a few people who exactly have same kind of experience so that I don’t feel alone.

[allen]

hi there fromdebal,
Your story is quite similar to my story and many others I have read on here. I went through my own personal struggles in the fall of 2021, which led me to my first sleepless night. After a couple of those, pure panic set in. I went to the doctor only to start a long fight or (search)for a cure. They put me on quite a few different benzos over the course of 4 months or so, no help worth talking about. Next came the sleeping pills only 2-3 hours of sleep ave. on them. The real terrible thing about them is that I started to believe I would never be able to sleep without them again. I was really lost there. I lost faith and or confidence in my doctors advice on sleep and started combing through Martin Reed and Daniel Ericson material. Through the next few months I quit the pills (with all the doubt and fear and physical junk that came with that). I did sleep eventually much to my pleasant surprise, but all is not perfect in my world yet,(never will be, right?) While I considered it a awesome victory to be sleeping as much without pills as on them, I still struggled. So now I am enrolled in Martins course and trying to deal with the anxiety over sleep and the lack of. I am sure this is quite true for me and many others out there (maybe you too) that the quest and the search for sleep is what keeps this monster fed. The answer might lie in the simple but (not so easy to do) feat of living our lives as we would if our sleep was better, and training our minds that really there is nothing to fear here. I truly feel your fear and frustration, I am going through the same thing (3 hours of sleep last night) but I take personal victories over not letting this totally ruining the next day. I guess I am rambling on just wanted you to know you are not alone out there. best wishes david

[Chee2308]

As @allen said, your insomnia story is a very typical one. It often starts with something unpleasant which then develops into an unhealthy obsession with sleep with a good amount of accompanying fear-mongering going on. The fact is nothing about your sleep ability changed. It’s your thoughts toward sleep that have. No one sleeps fine for decades then all of a sudden finds themselves requiring sleeping pills over just a matter of days or weeks! From my experience, trying to seek comfort and safety in numbers is often counter-productive. That reinforces the idea that there is something very wrong (when there’s none) and that it must be stopped or overcome at all costs. Wrong approach, imo. A better response would be to deeply self-reflect within yourself and enquire why you must sleep soundly when you are experiencing a difficult situation. Because sleep disruptions are very common and normal! It happens to everyone every once in a while. The good news is that this is probably only temporary and transitory. A poor night sleep or a stretch of it will not mean it will continue forever unless you unknowingly allow it by doing and thinking the wrong things. Good luck to you.

[fromdebal]

Thanks a lot @allen and @Chee2308. My rough stretch is now going on since May 2022. During this time, after having sleep, I felt refreshed for just for two days. It feels like I am running on a half battery everyday. I just hope this is a passing phase, and I will feel like myself again in near future. And the night time anxiety is like a beast, I feel muscle ache, muscle twitch, palpitation all due to anxiety, I guess, because I have done all kinds of medical tests, and everything was fine.

I really appreciate your responses and mental support.

[Martin Reed]

It’s hard to run on a half battery (or less!) each day, right?

That’s real and it’s hard.

And, at the same time, perhaps all the effort that’s required when we try to make sleep happen or try to get rid of certain difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia might be helping to deplete that battery?

Without so much struggle, perhaps you might be able to free up some additional energy to do more of the things that matter to you (no matter how small)?

Even in the presence of all the very real and very legitimate difficult stuff you described.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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