[Rubylight]

I’m just beginning my second week of sleep restriction (midnight to five-thirty a.m.) and am having the worst time convincing myself I “don’t care” if I don’t sleep. I read other people’s posts about four hours of sleep being a bad night…four hours is a miracle night for me! Everything is getting worse, and i understand this is very often the case in the beginning, but these nights with no sleep at all are getting very old very fast. I swear I’m as cheerful about all of this as humanly possible, and doing everything right…still working out even if I’ve been up all night, not cancelling plans, finding relaxing ways of getting through the nights and days, never napping, but it almost seems like actually following the programme is messing me up, making me hope for and look out for results that just aren’t coming. Sleep pressure is supposed to kick in at some point…it used to!… but it just doesn’t anymore. I hate to ask just how long this is going to go on because that just betrays my unconquered anxiety, which I’m trying so hard to accept. Note the contradiction in “trying so hard to accept.” I know this is early days, only the first week, but man, this is brutal!

[Chee2308]

Well how do you feel during the day? If you feel fine and are able to get on with your life, so then where’s the big problem?

When does the sleep pressure kick in? It’s difficult to tell, when it does, it does and when it doesn’t, it doesn’t. There’s no point arguing with yourself or everyone else over it. But from my experience, when you’ve truly accepted, the relentless asking naturally ceases and the accepting truly begins. What is there to ask about anymore, it’s like asking when will the blue sky turn dark and the raining begins, well why do you obsess over that when you have other stuffs going on that require your attention? Everyone just knows it’s only a matter of time and checking every passing second actively anticipating for something to happen just isn’t productive use of that time.

Go to bed at X and wake up at Y. Forget about what happens in between. Then rinse and repeat every single day. Ignore everything else and get on with your day. Don’t dwell on the past because it’s gone! Begin every new day on a fresh page and quit setting expectations or a time limit for your recovery. Be thankful for any sleep you get whilst being okay with any wakefulness you experience. Good luck!

[Gemma2906]

Hi
I am exactly the same. I would love to be getting 4 hours sleep. I go 2 nights without sleep then have a night with a couple of hours then another 2 nights without sleep.
And I feel dreadful in the day. I try to mask it and pretend I am coping. It is easier said then done to just forget about it when you find the situation stessful so completely understand where you are coming from.

[Chee2308]

Hello @gemma2906

Thank you and welcome to this forum. It’s not easy, of course, otherwise insomnia wouldn’t be such a big problem. But what I can say is the situation is manageable, just don’t keep trying to avoid it or make it go away fast. Be patient, and the good thing is it tends to get easier as you go along, as long you adopt the correct mindset. Expect a bumpy road, there will be ups and downs. Try not to be upset about any setbacks or get too celebratory when you slept well as well! The key is to get as nonchalant and indifferent about it as you can, this is when you truly move ahead and leave all this struggle with insomnia behind because you are starting to show that none of these are affecting you as much as before. This is the natural state every insomniac should aspire to return to, to not react to any good or bad outcome. Good luck, and this is entirely doable.

[Rubylight]

I will try this. I am ALREADY trying this. The nights are not so hard; it’s the long, long, red-eyed days. So hard sometimes to keep going when there is no end in sight…you think, well, if I knew this is only for six weeks or so, I could tough it out, no problem. But of course there are no guarantees except that everybody seems to get through it eventually. I’ll hold on to that hope.

[Chee2308]

Hello @rubylight

Don’t TRY. Because it suggests it is such a huge monumental effort and that insomnia is such a monster you need to defeat every night. It is really not. Just DON’T REACT. Try to return to your pristine, original state, like when you were a baby. Who has ever heard of such a thing as babies suffering from insomnia?? You won’t. That’s because insomnia isn’t defined in their mindsets, they achieve sleep hardly ever thinking about it or setting any goal! And that’s it! Your insomnia exists because your mind defined it into existence. When you are able to forget all about your insomnia or your mindset changes to not see any sleeplessness as a problem, then your insomnia simply ceases to exist. Drop all your targets. Believe in your own body, there’s no way it can do it wrong. If you can sleep, you can and if you can’t, you can’t. That’s it. There are no ands, ifs or buts about it and it’s futile trying to assign blames or find root causes. Just accept it as it is and move on. I also think your sleep window of 5.5 hours is a bit too short. An ideal starting point would be around 6-6.5. Accept that you may not be able to sleep through all of that allocated time and your sleep efficiency might be crap. Who cares? You are not in a race vying for being the best sleeper to win a prize. And nobody will punish you for being the worst either. The only person who can pass judgments is yourself so why couldn’t you be kind, patient and compassionate to yourself? Best wishes!

[Rubylight]

Thanks, I know you’re right, but it’s easier said than done. My sleep window is at 5.5 hours because that’s what was recommended for the initial weeks. Since I very rarely fill it up, I may as well leave it like that for the time being. I’ve ditched the sleep diary, though…all that fretting about averages was just winding me up more. It is true, though, that as this goes on and on and on, I’m tending to lose interest in the subject…thinking about sleep is starting to be really boring, which I find rather refreshing!

[Martin Reed]

It sounds as though you’re on the right path as you’ve started to expand the focus of your attention away from sleep!

How might you use the time and energy you’re starting to free up in a way that better helps you live the kind of life you want to live, even after difficult nights?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Chee2308]

There are some very innovative ways to reframe your thoughts about insomnia. One of these is being able to make fun or being satirical about it. Laugh at yourself, this was one of the ways I looked back and discovered how silly everything and my reaction was. I thought I’d share some jokes here:

1. My wife has insomnia: Great! At least she won’t be sleeping with other men. LOL.

2. Waking up between 2am and 4am means a higher power wanted to talk to you: YOUR CAT DEMANDING TO BE FED! LOL.

Develop your sense of humor along the way. Once you are able to do that, it probably means your insomnia is loosening its grip over you. And that is the point of the whole thing! Lose the fear.

[Author]

Posts