[Alexis]

Hey all – new here. So I’ve been through CBT-I and have been doing pretty good for the last 6 years. Had a flare up right before the pandemic that lasted about a month but for the last 2 years I’ve been sleeping well. I traveled for work at the end of March and being away made me not sleep well and now I’m caught in a 2 week anxiety-driven cycle. What do you guys tell yourselves when you have “flare ups” to avoid getting caught in the anxiety loop? Thanks!

[Scott]

It’s encouraging to see you’ve been doing well with CBT-I for the previous 6 years – great job! What makes you anxious when you experience these “flare ups”? Since we have less control over our thoughts than we want to realize and knowing that we can’t escape our thoughts, have you tried making room for them and welcoming them as they arrive? When one of those, “what if I can’t sleep tonight…” thoughts arrive, greet it with, “oh hey, thanks for that thought, mind” and let it be. It takes practice and repetition but allowing the thought to exist instead of putting in effort to get rid of it may be more beneficial for you.

Hope that helps,
Scott J

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[Chee2308]

If you have a bad night, then it means absolutely nothing except you had a bad night. It’s like you banged your toe or have an upset stomach. These events have no bearing on the future unless of course you allow it and begin worrying, which seems like what you have done. If you can ignore or forget about it, the problem will go away by itself.

[Alexis]

Thanks guys – I’m definitely caught in that worry loop. It’s been 2 weeks now and the anxiety is just so frustrating. I’m always so afraid of going back to the way things were. Also doesn’t help that in the last 2 weeks (and currently) I’ve been traveling and not at home.

[RLP]

I tried welcoming that thought last night, but more thoughts kept popping into my mind. Then I’d welcome them and go back to relaxing my body, feeling soft pillow on face, welcoming thoughts, letting them go, to no avail.

[Chee2308]

Hi @RLP
Are you lying in bed frustrated and unable to sleep when you welcomed those thoughts? Then you might want to consider getting out of bed to do something relaxing and enjoyable. Get your mind off forcing yourself to sleep for a bit. You may go back to bed once you become sufficiently calm and sleepy.

I believe the original intention of welcoming anxious thoughts in this post was during the day when you are not supposed to be sleeping. There’s a distinct difference between feeling anxious with a high sleep drive (which almost always leads to sleeping) and feeling anxious with very little or weakened sleep drive, which is what I think you’re experiencing. With the latter, people often have 2 choices: traditional cbti recommends you remove yourself from bed to weaken the association between bed and unpleasant wakefulness, or, for more adventurous people, to continue staying in bed just to rest/relax with no intention of sleeping. Sleep often happens with people stop trying so hard. Either way, the real idea is to be okay with wakefulness because waking up during the night is very normal. Try to be okay with these awakenings and cease struggling. After a while, you won’t see these awakenings as a big deal and your anxiety should start coming down. Good luck!

[RLP]

Mine isn’t waking up, it’s falling asleep.
I used to read and get sleepy and fall right to sleep.
Then going through depression
Stopped working
Now I fall asleep on couch and go to bed after dozing a while and usually right to sleep.
I known I shouldn’t do that but can’t just go right into bed and fall asleep
Tried meditations also

[Author]

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