[Icymeringue]

Hi, everyone.
I’ve had to deal with insomnia during various stages in my life, as I have an overactive brain that doesn’t always want to calm down, as well as being a light sleeper that wakes from just about everything. At this point I’m in a very acute but pretty severe bout of insomnia (worst I ever had) that was induced after flying to far East Asia from Europe, and now that I’m back (have been back for 2 weeks) I am still scraping by on a few hours a night. In the beginning this really frightened me, as I did not seem to get any rest from my trip (at the start I was awake for about 3 days which set off a lot of panic reactions). I ended up at my doctors for being very scared about not being able to sleep. I was given some Zopiclone and advised to just taken half doses. I am still doing this after a week of receiving them, but worry I won’t be able to sleep without them. Although even with the medication I still only manage about 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time. I still wake up frequently, however I feel much better in the mornings than I do in the evening. So I must be getting some rest at least?! I feel like this week I am maybe managing about 5 hours in total per night, I’m not stressing about it as much as I was although secretely I cannot stop those thoughts of ‘I hope this will be a 8+ hour night’ when being in bed. My mind is still fixated on the fact that I need one long night of sleep to fix this, as I have had this experience before and suddenly slept 12 hours in one go as a result. I also worry a bit about the fact that I keep waking up on the Zopiclone, as it says on there that you need to make sure it’s uninterrupted. I already worry about the nights I’m going to have to do without, because they do initially make me fall asleep. Anyway I hope this isn’t too incoherent, it’s still really difficult to focus on things. Thank you.

[hiker]

Hi Icymeringue, it sounds like you are really up against it right now. I am guessing that you know intellectually that worrying about how well you are going to sleep tonight is almost a guarantee that you will not sleep well. Or maybe you will somehow sleep okay tonight—but there’s the next night to worry about, then the next night…..

And trying to shove those worrisome thoughts to the side just gives them more energy.

So what to do? For what it’s worth, when I get into a rough patch of poor sleep, I try to think along these lines: “Okay, I’m tired. And I am having thoughts about oh no, how am I going to make it today. And since I am pretty hammered from lack of sleep, my thoughts are scattered all over the place. But maybe I can slow down and realize that I am freaked out about this. And that sure, I would like to sleep better tonight, but maybe I can let go of desperation a little bit.”

In other words, just acknowledging unpleasant thoughts and letting them drift by can be an alternative to trying to think them away, and also an alternative to giving them power. They’re just thoughts, not indisputable precepts set in stone.

There is a huge difference between:

1. “I’m having the thought that I wish I would die, life is hopeless because I can’t sleep”; and

2. “I wish I would die, life is hopeless because I can’t sleep.”

It is hard to see the difference when you’re hammered from insomnia. But it’s there, and it’s really big.

Take care, you are not alone in this.

[Martin Reed]

First up, let me reassure you that you have not lost the ability to sleep — that’s just not possible!

As hiker mentioned, often the biggest issue with difficult thoughts and feelings is the struggle we engage in when we try to fight or avoid them — since we can never win that kind of battle (because nobody can control the human brain).

Your mind will always generate thoughts and feelings. Some will feel good, some won’t. Some will be useful, some won’t.

Thoughts and feelings don’t stop sleep from happening, but trying to fight or avoid them sure can — because then you’re going to war with your mind, and sleep is not likely to happen when you’re engaged in a battle, right?

PS: Your post was very detailed and coherent!

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

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