[kash]

Hi guys, I am 22 and have been dealing with insomnia since I was 17 after a period of incredible stress in my life, my insomnia at first derailed my education and social life, however, I went through CBT on the NHS which has improved my condition to the point where I now get around 6 hours to 6 hours 30 mins sleep. (I used to get around 8 before my insomnia)

However, for the last 2 years, I have hit a point where my body wakes up in the morning after around 6 to 6 hours 30 mins of sleep and despite being ridiculously tired I can’t go to sleep. I have no issues going to sleep at night and go to sleep within 5-10 mins at night but I always wake up after 6 to 6hrs 30 mins later and feeling so tired but can never go back to sleep, I usually just lie in bed dozing for 30-45 mins until my alarm rings before getting up. During this dozing time I am EXTREMELY sleepy but stay conscious.

I am extremely confused, because this sleep pressure when I wake up in the morning is way greater than the sleep pressure at night, and I fall asleep at night with 0 issues but mostly do not fall asleep in the early morning when I awake before my alarm.

I wouldn’t worry about getting 6 to 6 hours 30 mins of sleep if my daytime symptoms improved but I never wake up feeling refreshed and instead feel very groggy, and I also feel chronically fatigued at all times.

Is there any advice that anyone can give me, thank you in advance!

[hiker]

Hi kash, sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

I understand you have completed a CBT program. I assume you learned some exercises and techniques. Are you still doing them? Definitely hard to stick with a program when you are so tir whated, but still necessary.

For what it’s worth, when I am dragging through a day after poor sleep, and I find myself ruminating about how tired I am, how I wonder if I will ever sleep well again, etc., I try to focus on the present moment, acknowledging it is unpleasant. I concentrate (and pray, if you believe in it) on just living this moment and that yes, I can handle this moment. I cannot handle maybe years ahead, but I don’t have to–instead, just this moment.

I know this can sound simplistic. But I do find that all the moments afterward are not all filled with thoughts about sleep, or how tired I am. For example, I did not sleep well last night and yes, I had some unpleasant moments thinking about that. But right now I am focusing on typing this note to you, and thinking about what I am going to write.

And tonight I will probably have thoughts about how well I will sleep. As best I can, I will just let them drift through my mind, like clouds passing by until they are out of sight. Sure, I hope sleep well, but if I don’t, I have dealt with that before. And I know that obsessing about it doesn’t work very well.

If you have not done so, check out Martin’s videos on this site.

Take care, and know you are not alone.

[Author]

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