[susieangela]

Hi all – I wonder if anyone would share your experience of your sleep getting much worse at the beginning of the CBTi programme, particularly with stimulus control. I’ve only been doing it for 4 nights, and before this was averaging about 6 hours a night. Since doing the SC, I’ve been sleeping worse than I’ve ever slept in my life: first night – an hour and twenty minutes; second night – 8 hours but extremely fragmented; third night – 5 hours, very fragmented; fourth night – 3 hours very fragmented. Can anyone reassure me that this worsening of sleep is usual when you start the programme? Thanks!

[BaileyN]

Hi Susieangela
I actually came on here to write something similar and hoping someone can give advice. I did CBTi many years ago and saw results almost instantly. This time around I have been practising it for about 4 weeks and my sleep has gotten worse. I am not going to bed until my sleep window but my anxiety over sleep is so intense that it doesn’t matter how tired/sleepy I am, as soon as I get into bed I am wide awake. I get up and do something else but when I return to bed my anxiety kicks in again. I also end up staying up doing my activity for well over an hour to feel sleepy because I am so wired and wide awake that I just can’t go back to bed. I really thought that my sleep drive would be so strong by now that it would take over my anxiety but it hasn’t. I think I was getting around 5 – 5.5 hours of sleep when I started CBTi but I am probably averaging around 4.

[susieangela]

Hi BaileyN – sorry you’re experiencing this too. I really relate to the anxiety kicking in – it seems almost counterproductive, as the SC is meant to make the bed a welcoming and relaxing place, whereas at the moment, it can feel like a trigger for anxiety. It’s interesting that the first time you tried CBTi it had a quick and good effect. I wonder what’s different this time round? I’m finding that I’m in the living room reading/journalling for hours in between. I’ve never had an insomnia problem until the last few years, and wouldn’t have seen it as a problem until the last 9 months or so. I’m trying to adopt Martin’s great idea about doing an enjoyable activity and letting the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings be, but this is all very new to me (and I’m very early on in the process). I do hope you reach that ‘breakthrough’ place soon – was reading an interview with Martin and he said it can take up to two months for some people before they get to that breakthrough point. Well done you for keeping going for a month! I’m finding a week challenging so far!

[Martin Reed]

How are you getting on susieangela? How are you currently implementing stimulus control?

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[susieangela]

Thank you, Martin. 🙂 I’m struggling, to be honest. But I’m not really ‘trusting’ the whole process, I know, especially as my sleep has become worse since beginning it. I always – or almost always – used to fall asleep immediately and wake after 4-5 hours, then be unable to sleep again, or eventually sleep and then sleep in. But now I’m sometimes waking after 1.5 hours and then the anxiety kicks in and I can’t sleep again. I’m scared that this process is making my focus on sleep problems stronger and my anxiety worse and it’s become a bit of a vicious cycle…

[BaileyN]

Hi susieangela

Sorry for not replying sooner. I’m also really sorry to read you are still facing anxiety around your sleep. I listened to an audio book called the Sleep Book by Guy Meadows (I hope its ok to recommend this here) a couple of weeks back and it has really helped me. He talks a lot about how to be in the same space with your insomnia and your anxiety around it, how to face it and accept it (focuses more on ACT rather than CBTi which I think is what I was missing). I know Martin often talks about being comfortable in the same space as your negative thoughts on his podcast and on this forum but I guess my problem was I never knew how and this book really gives some good suggestions.

It also recommends you don’t get out of bed and rather stay in bed even if you are feeling anxious which really helped me because I think getting in and of out of bed was creating more anxiety for me (I know this goes against what Martin says). It also has a softer approach to the sleep window, which also helped me because I have a young daughter who wakes up during the night so I think having a restricted sleep window in place was exasperating my anxiety.

Hang in there! If you want to reach out to me directly, I am always up for a chat 🙂

[susieangela]

Aw, thank you so much, @BaileyN! I will look at that book. I feel exactly as you do about having read a lot about ‘being with’ one’s anxiety/feelings and not knowing how!
I’ve been looking at a lot of Martin’s podcasts and other material and he does subscribe to ACT. He’s also said it’s okay to stay in bed rather than getting out. I think he has a more flexible approach to CBTi than some of the ‘made-to-measure’ approaches you read about.
How are you doing? It sounds like you have an extra layer of challenge with a little daughter who is wakeful. I do hope you are finding your way through all this. You sound to have a really good approach. xx

[BaileyN]

Hi susieangela – you are right, Martin does say its ok to stay in bed rather than getting out but only if you feel comfortable/not anxious. Whereas the audiobook recommends another approach of staying in bed with the anxious feelings and facing your fears. I completely agree, I think Martin’s advice is very helpful and he’s so generous sharing so much of it for free.

I am feeling much better about everything and touch wood it continues. I have been sleeping much much better and feeling human again (although way to soon to say my insomnia is behind me, just taking it one day at a time.)

[susieangela]

Oh, @BaileyN, I’m so glad that you are sleeping better! Are you following any particular approach? I totally understand that it’s a process with ups and downs, but/and we can be grateful for the good bits! x

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