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Hello Chez,
Sleep is always difficult if you keep trying to troubleshoot and solve it, like going to different doctors, constantly asking for advice, cures, tips and etc. Insomnia isn’t really the problem, seeing it as a problem becomes the problem. Keep it simple, always! Doing nothing is best, which is your best chance for a cure. The only simple things you need to sleep well are only two:
1. Get into and out of bed only at regular times, and not sleeping in or taking naps at other times even at weekends. This is 75-80% of the work already. Just figure out how much sleep you need (I recommend starting at 6.5 hours and then slowly extending that out in 15 min intervals by going to bed earlier while keeping out of bed time the same as your sleep duration improves)
2. Be patient and stop trying so hard so sleep. This is key and why so many people fail. It is often the impatience and frustration with how long it takes that make insomnia stickier. If you find yourself waking up too early, as most people do, even normal sleepers, just go back to bed, even to rest if you can’t sleep. Eventually you find you can sleep, even for just 5 mins and this becomes the initial proof that you can sleep. That 5 mins then develops into 10, 15, 30, 45 mins, 1 hour even 2 hours over time as your sleep confidence improves. Eventually you become so confident about sleeping that insomnia doesn’t bother you anymore and that’s when you are fully recovered. Best wishes and good luck to you.Hello Elizabeth.ca
It is often the impatience, and the frustration of how long it takes that make sleep issues stickier for a lot of people. Ultimately it is the start of giving up doing too much to sleep and the mental shift from seeing insomnia as a problem towards being okay with *any* amount of sleep that huge improvements start to be made. You may not even know when the mental shift starts but it often begins with caring
less, bit by bit, about how you sleep, besides that also setting a reasonable amount of time for sleep (6-8 hours) and most importantly a regular bedtime schedule that sets you on the path to sleeping well again. Good luck.Hello Hannah
Thank you for sharing. And that was a great podcast with Martin in youtube, I watched it until the very last minute eventhough I am fully recovered myself. The one thing you said that hit home for me, “…but I have to say over time, I do not remember when it happened, I did start to care a little bit less about sleeping… I didn’t do any tricking of my mind. It just over time, it just happened. I just started realizing.” Sleep problems primarily exist from an unhealthy obessesion over it and the overdoing of things to try to control sleep. Thanks for sharing.Greetings
You should get up at the same time each day regardless of how long you slept. This way you are able to build sleep drive so you get sufficiently sleepy at your regular bedtime. Your sleep drive depends on the amount of hours spent awake continously, ideally you want to go to bed after at least 16-17 hours awake. Best wishes to you…Perhaps it’s best to consult your doctor on this. I doubt anyone here can dispense medical advice without a physical evaluation. Maybe you have an underlying health condition that’s causing your sleeplessness. Good luck!
Greetings Jacob
I’m not going to write a long post because I’m giving this issue way more attention than it needs to. But briefly, before this, how were you sleeping and did you have the same “problems” you described like noise etc and yet have no trouble sleeping because you weren’t even thinking about it? If yes, then they are not the problem, your mindset about sleep is! In many ways than not, actively trying to solve something that is beyond your control becomes the problem. I’m sorry I can’t help you any further, I doubt anyone can! Best wishes to you.Greetings Dlupu!
5 years can’t sleep?? That is impossible, so you must mean not sleeping well for 5 years. Yet there you still are, alive and still able to come on here, type something and share your problem in a forum. What more proof do you want that not sleeping well can’t hurt you?? Forget about sleep and you will start sleeping well again, just get into and out of bed at regular times and stop obessesing over it, your cure is as simple as that! Your insomnia isn’t the problem, but you thinking it as a problem becomes the problem, get it??Greetings Hbhigg!
Excellent insight there. You are slowly getting there!
Insomnia is really not a problem. Seeing it as a problem becomes the problem. Realising this is the key to overcoming insomnia and build sleep confidence.Going forward, if you want to sleep more, get off any form of sleep tracking and go completely timeless where you don’t know how much you slept. This gesture is a powerful act of giving up control. Set it and forget it. You go to bed at X and get out at Y. What happens in between in regards to sleep you don’t care nor figure out anything about. Best wishes…
“How could i? Sleeping 3 – 5 hours per night isnt much normal for me” – Try not view sleep in terms of duration but more on quality. Be completely okay with how much you slept and try not to think too much about the hours. Avoid clock watching when you wake up during the night, resist the urge to calculate how much you slept because that only makes your mind more obesessed. Go completely timeless where you don’t know how long you slept. Just set an alarm, and all you know is the alarm hasn’t gone off and therefore you should lay in your comfy bed and try to sleep (if your body allows it) because the conditions are right for sleep. Or if you are anxious because you can’t sleep, then get up and do something you enjoy.
“I am going to bed, when i feel sleepy, but maybe, if i start going ot bed later, i will wake up later too.” – That is almost always true, if you go to bed later, you will tend to wake up later too. For now, just go back to bed when you become awake and try to believe you are a normal sleeper the best you can. If you think you are abnormal or something is wrong with you, then it starts becoming true. The story you tell about your sleep becomes self-fulfilling. Actively try to seek evidence you can sleep, like if you could sleep after waking up, even just 5 mins, then it is proof that nothing is wrong with you. Then as that 5 mins turn into 10,15,30,45 mins, your confidence will improve and you start sleeping more and waking less. Be patient because recovery won’t happen overnight. Best wishes to you…
Greetings Jacob!
“Like i know light sleep is part of the normal sleep, but i feel i have more of it then normal.” So you don’t believe you are normal? Yet? I think this is where your problem lies. You don’t have 100% sleep confidence and sleeping well naturally is all about your own confidence or a lack of it. Continue to do nothing for sleep, keep to regular bedtimes and slowly build your confidence to sleep normally one step at a time. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of trying endless things to chase more deep sleep in your case. Truly believe in yourself that your body will give you the sleep you need. Be patient because nobody can consciously or actively control how much deep sleep they get in the same way as you can’t control your digestion after eating.Greetings!
What you described sounds very similar to hyperarousal. Hyperarousal can manifest in many forms like anxiety/stress (from fear of not sleeping well, job, finances, relationship, loss of loved one etc), curiousity (like after doing something to sleep such as taking a pill where your mind starts becoming active, monitoring for results or whether you are falling asleep successfully) or excitement (such being parent for the first time, winning a jackpot lottery, starting a new job, moving to a new place or to a new house etc). All of these can lead to hyperarousal which can delay/mask sleepiness.Hello Jacob
What is your age? Are you a retired person? Older people above 60 tend to sleep less. Most people sleep for around 6 hours anyway. If you are waking up after several hours of sleep, it just means your sleep drive is less because it’s been depleted after sleeping. It is also very normal to have lighter and rem sleep as the night goes on. This part of sleep is characterized by more frequent awakenings (most people get up to use the toilet), a lot of dreaming going on and if you are a young male, lots of morning erections too! Nothing can restore sleep drive except wakefulness. When you wake up in the early mornings, are you anxious/edgy/frustrated?Hello Jacob
What time do you get up every morning? Are you frequently sleeping in, snoozing your alarm and/or getting out of bed at irregular times? As someone who recovered totally from insomnia, I must stress getting into and out of bed at REGULAR times is very important. That alone is 75-80% of the work. The other is right mindset, aka, self confidence (believing you can sleep) and spending less time in bed if necessary to build sleep drive. Normal human beings need at least 16 hours of wakefulness to generate 8 hours of sleep. Try to figure out yours and calculate are you going to bed after at least this amount of time spent awake? If not, you must first establish your out of bed time and always get out of bed at this time, regardless of how sleepy you are or how you slept. Try to initially spend at least 18 hours awake continuously then slowly reduce that to 17, 16 hours by going to bed earlier in 15 min intervals, while keeping your out of bed time the same. Keep doing that until you arrive at your desired sleep duration. When doing this, be patient and persevere even during bad nights because your body will need time to respond to a new bedtime schedule. There will be bad night(s) after a string of good nights, not reacting strongly to them and sticking to the plan is key to success. Good luck!Hello everyone
Thank you for your kind posts and I am flattered. I am just sharing the universal truths about sleep. If yo have the time, do please check out the video “Cure chronic insomnia with the effortless sleep method” by Yousquared in Youtube, based on the book “The effortless sleep method” by Sasha Stephens. Short 10 min video but full of very useful info on how to get over your current dilemma. In that video, the 5 key mistakes most “insomniacs” do are:
1. Asking your doctor for sleeping pills or being given some by doctors who absolutely don’t understand sleep.
2. Trying really hard to sleep.
3. Calling yourself an “insomniac”, which reinforces the idea that there’s something wrong with you.
4. Endlessly researching for a cure and trying one tip after another.
5. Believing in false statements.
