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Hi sahoosibu, I can relate to the early morning panic.
I am not a mental health professional, but I do know that early morning awakening is a classic sign of depression. Depression can stem from adverse life experiences which can be talked through, or from chemical imbalances which can be aided with antidepressants. If you want to explore this, best to find someone competent rather than winging it with whatever you happen across online. I had to deal with depression so this is a familiar path.
It is also true that the early morning panic can just take on a life of its own. You wake up, freak out, wonder will this ever end, get more panicky, and it just feeds on itself. I have travelled here, too.
I wish there were an instant solution. All I can offer is how I dealt with it, which was pretty much to stare right at it. I tried to push the freak-out thoughts away with other more pleasant thoughts, but it seemed like the panic just got stronger. So instead it came down to acknowledging them, like Martin describes. And I found that if I focused on the present nanosecond–not the whole day or even the next two minutes–that I somehow got through the day. Not as easy and fun-filled as i would have liked, but I made it, and maybe felt a little proud that I made it.
I’m pretty much over it at this point, but it can still pop up, and I don’t always put my own advice into practice. So sometimes it’s just a so-so or even kind of crappy day. But I don’t need to extrapolate and figure the rest of my life is going to be guaranteed miserable at all.
Hang in there, there are millions of people like us. We are not doomed by a long shot.
Hi BorgC, it sounds like you are learning the nuts and bolts of the course–but that when it is time to sleep, it perhaps to turns into ‘fine, that’s all well and good, but what am I supposed to do when the mental voice shows up?”
Or to put another way…..knowing the theory about acknowledging thoughts and feelings, agreeing that the NOW and AWAKE exercises make sense, but what to do when the thoughts and feelings are just overwhelming, like getting overpowered by an ocean wave?
Instead of trying to “lose that feeling of fear once and for all,” how about looking at the fear and saying…I am really afraid and overwhelmed right now And then just letting the fear drift by. And I get that the fear can hang around for a while, or leave and then come back, which means doing this some more.
When I feel fear, I have found that I can’t just make it go away. And pretending it’s not there hasn’t worked, either. I have had more success at just letting it be, and letting go of the idea that I can live a life totally without fear (or sadness or anxiety or any of the things we’d rather not have to deal with).
Hi Sriram, I think if you follow Martin’s course, you will see improvement. Probably not an instant cure, but worth your while.
The good news is that you have been able to identify the problem: sleep anxiety. It isn’t necessarily next day’s event or get-together, or whether you need to share the room with someone. Those might be difficult issues at times, but the long term problem is indeed sleep anxiety.
The course very much addresses what to do with our thoughts—not so much to be “overcome,” but rather to be acknowledged. Trying to banish them doesn’t work, anyway. Instead, it just gives them more energy.
This doesn’t mean you are at the mercy of any thought that just pops into your head. Instead, you are just watching it drift by like a cloud.
This will come clearer as you move on in the course…..try to be easy on yourself, give yourself time to let this happen.
Hello Hyhan, actually I have been sleeping better for a while now. (This is where I stop and knock on wood.) As for “overcoming” insomnia as in a sort of combat, I think instead of having generally gotten to the point where I can not freak out when i have a bout of insomnia, or when I wake up repeatedly during the night, or when thoughts pop into my head like, “what if it comes back with a vengeance, I’m getting older, I can’t deal with it if it does,” etc. etc.
Note I used the word “generally.” I still have episodes when insomnia can get into my head, and I’m irritable the next day(s) after lousy sleep, and rumination can still kick in. But I guess I remember before too long that this isn’t my first rodeo with this thing.
Hello Hyhan, oh man, thoughts you’d rather not deal with that keep popping up….
Insomnia does not cause physical health problems. How we react to insomnia might lead to physical health problems. But it can be hard to retain this truth when we are hammered from lack of sleep, right?
I think that really going down the rabbit hole of rumination—omg. I can’t sleep, I can’t deal with this anymore, I wish I were dead—can lead to all sorts of physical health problems. High blood pressure, ulcers, all sorts of self-harm like substance abuse, even suicide. Again, how we react to insomnia.
As for insomnia itself, it is definitely unpleasant. Who wants to be tired all the time? But by itself, that’s the beginning and the end: “I’m tired right now.” It’s only when we extrapolate that we make more of it than what it really is.
I know the above is right, but I find it hard to hold onto if I haven’t slept well the night before, or maybe several nights. In those times, i try to just remind myself that when I start going down the rabbit hole, that it’s just the insomnia talking. And I just observe the disaster-type thoughts pop up without buying into them.
Hello Hyhan, all I can say that over many years of insomnia I figured I must be sustaining some sort of long term physical damage. However, I have never found any credible evidence to support this idea (eg, Web MD, Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic).
I did find that a cold which would probably last 3-4 days, if I could sleep, would instead last a week or more with insomnia. And a hellish week at that. And yes, sometimes lead to a headache. But for the most part, I found insomnia to be more psychologically damaging —and this only if I reacted to it as if I were damaged.
In short, there is no doubt that insomnia can be tough to deal with, but I don’t believe it is causing physical damage, like you would have with smoking or drinking too much.
I hope things get better for you.
For me, the golden rule has been to get out of bed when I can’t sleep. And I think I will generally stay with that, because of a long history of tossing and turning and ruminating.
But I can see Martin’s point, which I think is that it’s not so much where you are (in or out of bed), but whether you are trying to dictate exactly when you will sleep and for how long you will sleep.
Expressing the same sentiments here, Sonja Leslie. I can relate to struggling to sleep. I think as you go through Martin’s materials, you will see that part of the road to better sleep is to stop struggling. We all know this is easier said than done. And it can be hard to believe there is a way out. But I believe you will find that there is, when you can slow down and accept and listen.
I would find suggestions like these patronizing and simplistic, then I would realize that was just the insomnia talking, you know, you’ll never get over this, life is hopeless, etc etc.
You are not alone in this.
Hi Packer Fan, I found that allowing max. 20 minutes, midday, if I felt sleepy as opposed to tired, sometimes resulted in actually sleeping during that time and feeling refreshed. But that if I did not fall asleep within the first five minutes, just realizing it’s not happening, and getting up. As opposed to continuing to lay there, hoping it would happen.
As for laying down multiple times during the day, tired but not sleepy, just thinking that if only I could get to sleep how wonderful that would be, getting frantic or depressed when I didn’t fall asleep, I found all this just made things worse. Instead, it was more like I would definitely prefer to be feeling more rested, but that’s not happening right now, so I think I will just do something—something I like doing, like riding my bike; or something I have to do, like going to work, and feeling a sense of accomplishment.
Hang in there, it does get better, even when it feels like it never will. So much for relying on feelings.
Hi tinatina86, I guess this reply comes a bit late: by now, you either went on the trip, or didn’t. Maybe you can draw on the experience and decide whether you feel glad about the decision you made. And if you sort of regret the decision, can you accept it is in the past, without berating yourself. After all, you made the decision as best you could on the information you had.
For me, I used to find that once in a while, I would be so blitzed I would just bow out. On the other hand, sometimes I just went and did whatever it was, figuring I’ll just do the best I can. I would catch myself visualizing insomnia as this powerful monster and deciding no, I don’t want to get into that mode. And then it would seem that over time, the “powerful monster” sort of faded away in the mist, even if I still hadn’t slept well.
Hi otilona, it sounds like you are familiar with the concept of problem-solving mind as Martin describes in Week 1. And that it’s a hindrance when it comes to sleep.
I am hoping you can slow down a bit, to the point where you can step back and watch your mind. You write that you have trained it to think that sleeping is bad. Wrong, but instead of trying to argue with your mind about it, is it possible you can simply note the point and just say to yourself, wow, when you can’t sleep, who knows what your mind will come up with. The thoughts get so powerful, they make me think they must be true—even though they’re not.
Hi Dijimena, I am guessing that you have been adjusting your meds because you haven’t found anything which works consistently without side effects.
I tried doing this for many years without consistent success. I would find something which would work for a while, sometimes. But invariably I would build up a resistance to it. If such a med. combo exists, I think we would have heard.
As far as weaning off, I strongly recommend consulting with pharmacists, who can tell you about the “half-life” of certain medications, and whether you need to taper off rather than stopping suddenly. Be sure to tell them of any other meds you might be taking.
I don’t know if your meds have included anti-depressants. If you do have a depression diagnosis, it can be important to follow up with this. Early morning awakening can be an indicator of depression, but you would want to follow up with a mental health professional. Such meds can help with depression, but they can carry their own side effects and don’t guarantee restful sleep over the long term. Still worth taking in some cases.
Also, I am assuming that sleep apnea is not a factor in your insomnia? This is one aspect of sleep medicine which Western doctors do know about. A sleep medicine physician can set up a sleep study to see if apnea is contributing to your sleep disturbance.
I hope you stay with this site. Lots of good info here, and a steady reminder you are not alone in this.
Hi otilona, it is hard to write what i know to be true without sounding simplistic.
Instead of “trying to figure out how helpful the course is” how about just doing it? And when your problem solving mind kicks in and wants get to figuring out everything, just sitting back and watching it.
Our minds are really good at making sure we don’t run out of gas/petrol, but I think you will find it spinning around, pretty much uselessly, at trying to figure out how to sleep.
Hi otilona, I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. I am thinking here also of your previous post, in which you alluded to your insomnia experience being the worst ever. At least that is the impression I got.
I do remember getting lost in rabbit holes of despair–including the thought that no one else has been here before, or at least not to this degree. I think the official clinical term is something like depressive rumination, where your mind takes you to really dark places. I agree with Genie about calling 988 in those situations.
Martin talks about the problem solving mind and how it is quite helpful in certain situations. You notice the gas gauge going down; you know to get some gas/petrol before you run out and get stranded somewhere. Problem solved. But as he says, the problem solving mind is not helpful over something we can’t control, like sleep.
What has ultimately worked for me is being able to step back and watch my thoughts instead of just reacting to them. Which is hard to do when the thoughts are so powerful you think they must be true. Actually you are not alone and indeed you will be okay. Don’t give up!
Hi sahoosibu, I don’t have any additional insights at the moment. I would just reiterate what rswan15 and Martin are saying. Like rswan15 puts it, sometimes the racing thoughts just need to burn themselves out. And I think this means stepping back and watching them. Not trying to put them out like a fire in your kitchen, but also not diving in and swimming with them and getting tossed this way and that.
