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Hi Ken, welcome to the forum!
It certainly sounds like you’ve tried a lot of things to improve your sleep but are still experiencing insomnia. What factors do you think are contributing to your difficulty falling asleep at night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
By the way, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
It’s obvious you’ve tried really hard to sleep but you’re still suffering from insomnia and those unwanted thoughts. It’s not because you haven’t tried hard enough, but possibly that you’re trying too hard. Sleep is strange; it doesn’t respond well to force. The more you chase it, the further it flees.
We can’t control our thoughts, the “what ifs” and worries. But we can control how we react to them. When these thoughts arrive, do you fight and struggle with them? It’s natural – they’re unpleasant! Here’s a different approach to consider: acknowledge them instead of avoiding them. Since we can’t stop them, try greeting them. When an unwanted thought pops in, say something like, “There’s that sleep anxiety again!” or “Hello anxious thought!”. It won’t make the thought go away or restrict it from coming back, but it should lessen the effect it has on you. Try practicing this technique during the day also instead of waiting until at bedtime – the more you practice, the better you get at it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Since we can’t control what and when our mind is thinking, we can learn to manage our thoughts as what they are – just thoughts. Instead of getting tangled up in our thoughts, we can create space by acknowledging them. Simply saying, “There I go again with that sleep worry,” or “Hi there, anxious thought about sleep,” can act as a buffer. This doesn’t banish the thought forever or prevent it from returning, but over time, its power over you should weaken. This is a technique that works best when you’re also applying it to thoughts during the day, instead of just at bedtime.
Have you practiced any mindfulness techniques while resting in bed? You may find imagining a balloon floating in the sky or focusing on your breathing in/out beneficial. Practice these techniques for restful purposes instead of trying to force sleep since the harder we try to sleep, the more elusive sleep becomes. Be mindful that you may experience those unhelpful thoughts while practicing mindfulness. If you do, meet and greet them as described above.
Hope you find this helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hey @elliejane, welcome!
Unwanted thoughts can be a challenge, as you’re experiencing! As you mentioned, our minds naturally go into fight-or-flight mode when these thoughts show up, which is totally normal. You’ve recognized that fighting them can actually make them more intense. What strategies do you use to manage these thoughts when they pop up?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Excellent post, @mikearbi18, and I’m glad to hear you’re sleep is back on track! Thank you for posting!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Our minds can wander freely, and anxiety tends to intensify when we resist or fight it. What if we simply acknowledged these thoughts as just that – thoughts? Let them drift in and out without judgment. Instead of suppressing them, say to yourself, “I’m feeling anxious about falling asleep,” or “That anxious thought is back.” By allowing these thoughts to exist without attaching to them, you create space between yourself and the anxiety, reducing its power over you.
The more effort you put into getting a good night’s sleep, the harder sleep becomes. I wonder if counting has become a sleep effort? Remember back to when you weren’t experiencing difficult sleep, were you counting backwards or trying to force sleep to happen each night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep restriction / sleep window can’t generate sleep but it can prevent you from chasing it by limiting the time you spend in bed. I compare these new techniques you’re exploring to beginning a new exercise regimen – at first, you may find it difficult to remain committed and you’re not sure what you’re doing has any benefits but if you remain committed, I think you’ll see positive results.
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of ruminating thoughts when you go to bed, and that can be challenging. When you count backwards, do you find that helps lessen the impact of those unhelpful thoughts or does the tug-o-war with them become stronger?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts, have you tried allowing them to exist and acknowledge them. For example, acknowledge them by saying, “I’m feeling anxious about falling asleep tonight.” when an unhelpful thought about sleep arrives. The more we resist or try to avoid our thoughts, the stronger they become – the louder they shout at us! This acceptance technique can actually help us struggle less with them. Often, it’s not the anxious thoughts themselves that disrupt sleep, but our attempts to push them away.
If you find yourself calm and relaxed in bed, enjoy that feeling for as long as it’s pleasant for you.
I hope there’s something in this that helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hey Phil! It’s great to hear you’re exploring sleep restriction instead of supplements. How long have you been implementing the sleep restriction/window? Why do you think you aren’t able to fall back to sleep after going to the restroom? What can you do to improve the quality of your days, regardless of how well you sleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! The good news is that you haven’t forgot how to sleep! When you wake up, what thoughts are causing you to feel anxious? Instead of lying in bed feeling frustrated and anxious, are there other activities you could engage in that might be more enjoyable?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds like a great plan, Brad. Getting out of bed at the same time every morning is more important than going to bed at the same time.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks again for sharing your experience! I’ve heard some people say that their insomnia began following a particular trauma or significant event in their lives and I’m sure there are people who’ve shared overcoming it in the Insomnia Success Stories section of the forum. What part of CBT-I is causing you stress? How long have you been implementing the techniques?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Can you describe the arousal you’re experiencing? Are you having unhelpful thoughts about the incident that’s causing some sleep-related anxiety?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think you’re heading in the right direction, Brad! If you’re feeling restless and frustrated while lying in bed, then getting out of bed and engaging in something more meaningful and relaxing can be beneficial. Great job!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for posting, @TwinsRM! Can you describe what you referred to as, “hyper focused on watching myself”?
@Joemann also offers valuable perspective on our acceptance of wakefulness and how that could relate to your current experience.—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Brad – It’s quite normal to encounter sleep disturbances following a stressful event, much like the one you went through. Usually, once the stressful event has passed, our sleep patterns return to normal, but sometimes, difficulty sleeping can persist. How do you respond to those anxious thoughts and arousal while lying in bed?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
