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@EML – welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.
I wouldn’t say that your experience with insomnia is much different than others. When we try to fix our insomnia with supplements and other possible solutions on the Internet and they don’t work, our anxiety about our sleep issue heightens. Sleep doesn’t reward our efforts, and in fact, our mind shines a spotlight on it and continually reminds us of our problem. Since you haven’t experienced long-term success finding supplements that work, do you think continuing to research those products is beneficial?
Having anxious thoughts about our sleep doesn’t cause insomnia, but how we respond to those ruminations can. We try to control or avoid our thoughts because they’re uncomfortable but that struggle creates a vicious loop and makes sleep much more difficult. We can’t control what pops into our mind, so why believe those unhelpful thoughts? Instead of believing and struggling with our thoughts, I wonder if changing our relationship with them would be more rewarding? When one of those, “will I sleep at all” thoughts arrive – and they will – what if you respond to your mind by saying, “Thank you, mind” and allowing it to exist and pass? This technique may not work the first several times but if you continue to practice it, those thoughts diminish and have less impact over time. I overcame insomnia a couple of years ago, but I still have some (but much fewer) anxious thoughts about sleep, especially when I travel or when I’m not sleeping in my bed at home, but I simply allow those thoughts to come and go as they please without giving it the attention it wants.
I hope this helps,
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Clock watching for the start of your sleep window has the potential to create some anxiety but it’s how we respond (or don’t respond) to the ruminating thoughts that causes sleep to become more difficult. I wonder if you stop watching the time 1-2 hours before your sleep window starts and just go to bed when you’re sleepy would be beneficial for you? Sleep drive is designed as you mentioned but if you begin to struggle with that arousal and anxiousness, then that can lead to sleep disruptions. How do you react when anxious thoughts about your sleep arrive, especially at bedtime? Are you trying to avoid them or force them to go away?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @Grangers and thanks for the follow up! It sounds like you’ve made some progress since your last post – great job! Sleep restriction isn’t a tool to generate sleep since we can’t force sleep to happen. It;s designed to reduce the amount of time someone spends in bed so it reflects their existing sleep time, but no less than a 5 hr sleep window. It’s built that way because most insomniacs are likely to spend too much time in bed because they feel like they’ll get more sleep but that can lead to arousal and anxious thoughts about our sleep issue.
Does that help?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
What do you think is causing your inability to fall asleep? Are you experiencing any sleep-related anxiety or maybe not going to bed when you’re actually sleepy? There could be similar reasons why you’re unable to fall asleep and have frequent awakenings during the night so we’ll need to determine the root cause. Those who experience chronic insomnia usually do so because we’ve changed our thoughts and behaviors towards our sleep issue.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi and welcome! It’s not too surprising that you haven’t achieved consistent results with sleep meds in the last 30 years since sleep meds don’t tackle the root cause of insomnia – our thoughts and behaviors toward sleep. One of the main problems with sleeping pills – prescribed or OTC – is if we take a pill and we’re able to sleep that night, then we believe the pill worked but if we take a pill and don’t have a good night’s sleep, then we believe something is wrong with us and that creates additional anxiety towards our sleep. Ironically, sleep is one of those weird things that doesn’t reward our hard work so when we try to sleep better, sleep becomes less and less attainable. Have you explored the CBT-I techniques or viewed any of Martin’s videos yet?
Hope that helps,
Scott J—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! Let us know if you have any questions!
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @Gaylemiller,
I hope you get better soon! I wonder if putting less effort towards sleep recently has benefited you in achieving better sleep? Typically, the more we try to sleep better, the more difficult sleep becomes since sleep doesn’t reward our hard work.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @Wakkawakka – what you describe isn’t unusual for those experiencing insomnia. Generally, a sleepless night becomes a perpetuating issue when we change our thoughts and behaviors toward the issue. As long as we try to force sleep to happen or try to control our unhelpful thoughts about sleep, we tend to continue struggling with achieving sound sleep. Since we can’t control what pops into our mind, do you think it’d be beneficial to change the relationship we have with our thoughts instead? When you have a “what if I don’t sleep” thought arrive, what if you said, “there’s that sleep thought again” to create some distance between you and your thought and allow it to exist instead of fighting or trying to avoid it? After acknowledging it, continue enjoying the activity you were engaged in when it arrived. This won’t prevent the thought from coming and, it may pop in more frequently at first because that’s what our mind does, but if you continue to practice this technique, I suspect you’ll find some benefit with it. The more we struggle with these unhelpful thoughts, the more it pulls us away from an enjoyable life.
Hope that helps,
Scott J—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m looking forward to hearing your progress!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @dannom – sorry to hear about your sleep issues. Our mind thinks it’s doing the right thing by sending more frequent unhelpful thoughts about our insomnia when we try to avoid or fight with them. We try to avoid these thoughts because they don’t feel good, but the more we fight with them, the more intense they can become. Since we can’t control what pops into our head, we can control whether or not we believe it. Instead of escape or control strategies, try labeling the thought and returning to what you were doing when the thought arrived. For example, when you have a negative sleep-related thought arrive, simply say, “oh, there’s that sleep thought again” and return to the activity you were doing when it popped up. This technique allows you to create space and allow the thought to exist rather than fighting with it. It may not work the first few times but keep practicing it and you’ll begin to see benefit in allowing it to come and go as it pleases versus getting caught up in a struggle.
Hope that helps,
Scott J—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Agreed, @dbaldino!
@martin, time to get moving! 😉—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @nay – welcome to the forum! What is the biggest challenge you face with sleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @Prince58,
It’s not uncommon for everyone to wake during the night, usually when you’re transitioning from one sleep phase to another. What is it about wakefulness that gives you anxiety? You’re absolutely right though – worrying about sleep and troubling thoughts about being awake makes sleep even more difficult. Have you thought about stopping the struggle with those unhelpful thoughts and creating space for them to exist instead? Thoughts don’t make sleep impossible for us, it’s our belief in them that does though. Thoughts are not truths and are mostly unhelpful but they love attention and the more we try to avoid or struggle with them, the more frequent and stronger they usually become.
Sleep doesn’t reward hard work and effort so any effort we make to sleep heightens our awareness of our sleep issue. Although it’s very relaxing, I wonder if the yoga nidra could be a sleep effort instead of a relaxation method simply to relax?
Hope that helps.
Scott J—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Excellent news! It’s exciting to hear about your progress and I’m looking forward to a future update.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Elli,
I think all the steps/information you’ve learned and implemented have proven to be beneficial towards improving your sleep. As you mentioned, enjoying life, regardless of how you slept the night before, is so important in this journey.
If you’re consistently waking at 5am every morning, then it could be a signal that your body has generated all the sleep that it feels it needs for the night. Since you mentioned that you’re very sleepy at 11pm but your sleep window doesn’t start until later, do you think sliding your sleep window back to 1130pm might be beneficial?
Scott
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
