For over 2 years now on and off I’ve been an insomniac, or instead, as many would understand, someone who is “afraid” of insomnia. Finally a couple of months ago during a bad phase I finally hit a breaking point and began doing anything I could to get to the end of this and begin sleeping well like I had for 32 years of my life before this nightmare began. I’m 34.
Through a lot of trials and research over the last 2 months, even though I kind of figured it was the problem all along, I’ve realized the main culprit of my sleep disorder is fear/anxiety over the thought of Insomnia, mostly at bedtime, and that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know this because any night where I happen to feel peaceful at bedtime and fall asleep, THOSE are the nights that I sleep well. If I have fearful thoughts and get anxious, forget about it. Those thoughts stay integrated into my brain and it messes everything up where I wake either in the middle of the night or an hour before my alarm is supposed to go off. I have also realized that it is just my own bed that I have this trouble with. When I have slept in a hotel more often than not I have slept ok. My life has been lived as a zombie for I’d say about 70% of the last 2 years.
Finally, recently, I got into bed one night and just had this epiphany, so to speak. A moment of “i’ve had enough!” and “F— Insomnia!”. I didn’t worry about falling asleep or getting out of bed if I couldn’t sleep, etc. Wouldn’t you know it, that night I slept well! The next night? Same story. Slept like a baby and through the entire night for 7.5 hours in what was the first time in forever. Finally, I had thought I cracked insomnia for good. I thought it finally happened and I was out of the anxious state once and for all. I felt my life was back. Maybe I would never have to resort to sleep restriction after all.
Then, as quick as those few amazing nights seemed to happen, the bad ones would return. I had one poor night where I woke up way before my alarm. Was shot all day. This lead to fear which in turn lead to another bad night, and before I knew it, my new found “F— Insomnia” as I went to bed mindset was no longer working. Now it’s been over a week and I’m back in a horrific phase of Insomnia. I understand the whole “don’t put your insomnia before anything else” talk and the whole “Live your life” stuff, but I don’t know. I feel like I’m ok and just want to sleep, but it’s still not going away. Last night I had very little fearful thoughts at bedtime but still slept extremely poor. Been a zombie all day. Can anyone offer help?
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This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.
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This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.
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This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.
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This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.
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This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.