2 Years – Breaking Point

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  • #25766
    Mac0908
    ✘ Not a client

      For over 2 years now on and off I’ve been an insomniac, or instead, as many would understand, someone who is “afraid” of insomnia. Finally a couple of months ago during a bad phase I finally hit a breaking point and began doing anything I could to get to the end of this and begin sleeping well like I had for 32 years of my life before this nightmare began. I’m 34.

      Through a lot of trials and research over the last 2 months, even though I kind of figured it was the problem all along, I’ve realized the main culprit of my sleep disorder is fear/anxiety over the thought of Insomnia, mostly at bedtime, and that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know this because any night where I happen to feel peaceful at bedtime and fall asleep, THOSE are the nights that I sleep well. If I have fearful thoughts and get anxious, forget about it. Those thoughts stay integrated into my brain and it messes everything up where I wake either in the middle of the night or an hour before my alarm is supposed to go off. I have also realized that it is just my own bed that I have this trouble with. When I have slept in a hotel more often than not I have slept ok. My life has been lived as a zombie for I’d say about 70% of the last 2 years.

      Finally, recently, I got into bed one night and just had this epiphany, so to speak. A moment of “i’ve had enough!” and “F— Insomnia!”. I didn’t worry about falling asleep or getting out of bed if I couldn’t sleep, etc. Wouldn’t you know it, that night I slept well! The next night? Same story. Slept like a baby and through the entire night for 7.5 hours in what was the first time in forever. Finally, I had thought I cracked insomnia for good. I thought it finally happened and I was out of the anxious state once and for all. I felt my life was back. Maybe I would never have to resort to sleep restriction after all.

      Then, as quick as those few amazing nights seemed to happen, the bad ones would return. I had one poor night where I woke up way before my alarm. Was shot all day. This lead to fear which in turn lead to another bad night, and before I knew it, my new found “F— Insomnia” as I went to bed mindset was no longer working. Now it’s been over a week and I’m back in a horrific phase of Insomnia. I understand the whole “don’t put your insomnia before anything else” talk and the whole “Live your life” stuff, but I don’t know. I feel like I’m ok and just want to sleep, but it’s still not going away. Last night I had very little fearful thoughts at bedtime but still slept extremely poor. Been a zombie all day. Can anyone offer help?

      • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
      • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
      • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
      • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
      • This topic was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
      #25784
      Deb
      ✓ Client

        I responded with this below on your other post, but not sure if it’s showing up. So here it is again.

        Two years – that’s a long time to be suffering from this. I think it’s time for you to get help, my friend. If you can’t come up with the $500, pay the $70 each week. When you start seeing progress, you’ll realize that it was well worth the expense. Martin will give you the support you need to do the sleep restriction. Yes, it may be difficult the first week or so, but what’s one or two weeks in comparison with the two years you’ve already suffered? I also dreaded the thought of trying these methods and when I tried it by myself, I just seemed to make things worse. Having someone to “hold my hand” through the process has really helped me.

        I only had one night of sleep restriction so far, but I slept 5.75 of the restricted 6 hours, so that was great. But I don’t expect it to be this easy each time. I’ll let you know how it goes this week. There’s a link to another client of Martin’s who did it and she said (or he) that the first few days sucked and then it started getting better. She had been struggling with insomnia for 10 years.

        https://insomniacoach.com/forums/topic/you-can-do-it (If this doesn’t work, go to the forum topic, “Sleep restriction” and scroll down to Martin’s comment.) It’s very hopeful and shows that these methods work.

        I read the book by Sasha Stephens who had insomnia for 15 years. Her turning point came when was she went away for a retreat and was forced to go to bed late every night after a long exhausting day and get up early at the same time every morning for several days. So let the behavioral changes lead the way and then I think your emotions and everything else will start to fall into place.

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