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When I started the course I was at my wit’s end. I had tried everything: sessions with a clinical psychologist, CBTi , rigidly followed sleep hygiene rules and took prescribed sleeping pills. Despite all this I still felt that insomnia was dominating and ruining my life and that I was a failure because I couldn’t control it! Six months after finishing the course my life is happier more joyful and I no longer struggle with sleep or lack of it!
Martin’s approach helped me to see that all the effort I was making to avoid insomnia and control sleep was resulting in my brain perceiving night time wakefulness as a threat and was activating the fight/flight response which prevented sleep from happening. I learned ways to accept and respond to difficult thoughts and emotions [NOW technique] and as a result my anxiety lessened. Martin’s advice to not cancel/change plans after a sleepless night also helped my brain to realise I could still function and enjoy life even with a few hours sleep.
Continuing to practice the techniques means that I now sleep well most nights [6/7 hours] and I no longer panic on the odd night when I might sleep less well. Thank you again Martin. I no longer try to control sleep and can’t believe how much my life has changed .Hello
Thanks for your post and you’ve inspired me to finally to join up. I’ve been thinking about it since I did the two week free email course. Hope I get the same results as you have.. but I’m feeling confident it will. How long did it take before you saw real changes to your sleep. My biggest issue is I constantly think about sleep.. it’s become an obsession but the more I say stop thinking about sleep it’s there stronger than ever
It’s like nothing else is going on in my life except my sleep .. so frustratingHi Buddy 370
I can identify with what you’re saying about thinking about sleep all the time… It’s horrible isn’t it? The course really helped me with this by providing techniques which taught me how to respond to those type of thoughts in a more helpful way. I think my attitude towards sleep started to change quite quickly once I started the 6 week programme. It was a gradual process for me and will probably be different for everyone. I can thoroughly recommend the course and wish you all the very best.Hi Helen
Thanks so much for your reply
I’ve signed up and looking forward to the course.. looking forward to putting insomnia back in its place .. it’s just controlling my life too much at the moment .. you realise how powerful your brain is but I think I’m on the right path.. watch this space xHi @buddy370
Welcome to the club! If you would allow me to share my input, I would say recovery is really only a matter of perspective. Once you stop defining what is “good” or “bad” sleep based on whatever definitions you have come to set yourself, that sleep is just sleep, there’s just no good or bad, then technically you have recovered literally overnight.
Unfortunately, it is not that straightforward for many people. There will be emotional hurdles and setbacks. Your conditioned mind will keep plaguing you with all kinds of things. You will need to learn how respond to them, to make light of them, reframing unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts, and eventually totally ignore them altogether, which require a bit of time. Good luck.
Thank you so much .. I really needed to hear that today as I’ve had a couple of rough days. I will put your advice into action .. already feeling better😀. It’s a process I know to make those changes and requires perseverance and time
I’d like to respond to Chee2308. I’ve seen a few of your posts. Always very wise, very settling. How is it you’re still here with us all since you seem to be well recovered? I wondering what your secret is to such a calm wise approach. I could use some of it. I was touched by you’re saying there’s no good or bad sleep. In theory I see how that really helps to tone down the struggle. However, how do you convince yourself that no sleep for many nights isn’t bad vs good?
Hello @Janie
Thank you for your kind words. I may come across as irritating sometimes when I tell people the honest truth that their problem is almost always just an illusion. It is your mind playing tricks on you. Don’t waste any time figuring this out. Because it is just not worth it, as your body knows what it’s doing and it just cannot do it wrong. If your sleep was broken, there will be ZERO sleep ALL the time, not 2, 3, 4, 5 or whatever hours it is almost always getting. So the fact you are always getting some sleep and that doing srt or stimulus control involves nothing external, whatever you need to do to sleep is already internal inside you, you are not getting good amounts it because you have essentially been caught up in this self-inducing and self-perpetuating hoax perpetrated by your own mind.
There is almost nothing physical you can do about sleep except generating sufficient wakefulness by staying awake that induces sufficient sleepiness. That’s all there is to it. Since the problem is psychological, adopting a mental or philosophical approach is more appropriate in my opinion. Stop running away or fearing it. The world of insomnia is full of paradoxes. Examples include:
1. Doing less is more.
2. Having more insomnia to beat insomnia. Because more insomnia automatically = less time sleeping = more time awake = more wakefulness = more sleep drive = more likely to sleep. And the converse is true as well. It is cycle that repeats itself all over again and insomnia + good sleep are both stuck on opposite sides of the same coin. To achieve great sleep again, you need to have a bit of insomnia and so forth.So when you ask me, how do I achieve the calm wise step, I would say, when you know what psychophysiological insomnia is all about, that would be the most natural step to take. Because you can’t do anything physical about it and neither does worrying about it makes it any better either. In fact, it can make it worse. So just sit back, relax and let your body do its job.
Hi Chee2308
I love reading your calming posts and I’m trying to follow your advice. Trouble is my obsessing mind is hard to control but I guess it takes time and practice
I can be very positive most of the day but by 3 am with no sleep my resolve weakens and the worry takes over. Did you find sleep restriction and stimulus control helpful ? .. I find the sleep restriction doesn’t work for me but I do get out of bed and watch tv if I can’t sleep as I’m trying to befriend wakefulness and I find I’m getting better at being awake. Last night I fell asleep for two hours on the couch and woke up feeling really strange. But I take sleep whenever I can get it at this stage of the game .. so my resolve is to stop worrying and thinking about sleep. I think I need to stop reading and watching you tube videos about sleep.. it’s keeping the obsession alive . Please keep up your posts as I think there are many of us who are finding them very helpfulHey buddy
I found srt helped a bit. But it only helped to anchor my circadian rhythm so it’s not all over place as a result of falling asleep at 12am, 2am, 4am or some ungodly hour during my insomnia days. Once i fell asleep by a consistent time, everything else pretty much fell into place by itself.
I didn’t find stimulus control helpful at all. It increased my stress. I never got out of bed when i couldn’t sleep pre-insomnia so doing it while i had it was unhelpful. It helped reinforce the idea that wakefulness is wrong and must be avoided at all costs. I personally wouldn’t do it but i have heard it worked wonders for other people so I’m not in a position to tell what works for you. But always do what you did pre-insomnia. Because that is the state you want to return to.
So why were you sleeping on the sofa? And why weird you slept 2 hours there? You want to be in a state where there’s no bewilderment. Sleep is supposed to be natural and a result of being in a comfortable state and place and in a relaxed state of mind, so that can be anywhere and anytime and there becomes nothing to celebrate when you had a great night and nothing to despair over when you had a bad one either. You just become neutral and okay with either outcome. Good luck.
Hi Chee
Thanks again for your insightful post. You are so right about sleep and today I’m starting a new approach. I realise it is my overthinking mind that has got me here and it’s only up to me that I make the changes to how I think about sleep. I just need to pay it no attention and get on with life regardless of how much sleep I’ve had .. fake it until I make it😃
No more watching you tube videos and reading books on sleep.. I realise it occupies my mind 24/7 and because I’m not sleeping the night hours are ten fold
Anyway wish me luck and you should take up sleep coaching x
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