[Deb]

Yeah, Steve, I was thinking that you were probably alone. Keep in touch. We’re here for you!

[Deb]

Mac – are you sleeping any better now that you’re at home?

I’m better. Still some sleep anxiety when I go to bed but have been falling asleep within a reasonable time. Been needing extra sleep since I’ve had this flu/bug so have been sleeping in until 9:30 or even later. Then I’m already getting tired by 7:30 pm. But I go to bed at the usual time. Anyway, I’m getting the sleep I’m needing thank goodness.

How’s everyone else?

[Mac0908]

Hi Deb. Its day 2 of working from home and so far no, I haven’t been sleeping too well, but there’s good reasons for that. While I’m definitely starting to settle down about the pandemic and accept the new reality of life, its still lingering just a bit. On top of that I had some general anxiety about the whole brand new work from home dynamic that started yesterday. We have NEVER done this before so I had a little worry over making sure I was up and ready to login to the system at 7:30am. (They want us to email to ensure we are actually in and working at the start of the day).

Today was a tad better as far as working went and I got the hang of things. Still didn’t sleep well, but I feel better mentally. I do feel that in time, probably a couple of days, I’ll begin to accept this new reality of working from home a lot more and thus sleep will improve for sure. There’s just been a LOT to adapt to in the last 2 weeks as I’m sure you know, especially over here in New York.

If there’s one thing I realized even more through these last 2 weeks its that I really do have at least a very low grade of general anxiety. It’s anything but serious and it’s nothing I feel i’d ever need medication for, but it’s there, just enough to (obviously) mess with my sleep if nothing else, and creep up sometimes when things are thrown out of their element in my life or I have an issue going on (i.e. Work/relationships). I think its somewhat normal for anyone to get a little anxious about the latter things, but for me it’s probably a tad on a higher level than most.

[Steve]

The last couple of nights it has taken me somewhat longer to fall asleep but I have also been sleeping past the 4:00am time period. Not too much past but before I was mostly waking up at 3:00am and staying awake so anything past 4:00 is an improvement. Trouble is, I don’t know if I am getting the same amount of sleep since as I said, I am falling asleep later. I try to get up at the same time I normally did even though I don’t have to go into work and can work from home. I figure that will help when it eventually comes time for me to go to work again. Still don’t feel much better physically though. Still have a bit of brain fog, minor headaches and tired. And I still think the tiredness is affecting my vision. Just going to keep doing what ACT teaches me to do as I have no other choice.

[gsdmom]

Hi Deb – sounds like you are catching up on some sleep and I hope you feel better soon.

Steve and Mac – Although working from home sounds great, it is new and a different adjustment and probably subconsciously bringing on a different kind of stress. Especially for you, Mac having to log in at 7:30am.

Last Sunday morning I was feeling great, just getting into thinking I would be able to relax for a couple weeks due to not working and maybe catch up on sleep. But then at noon, the announcement came that we would be open again on Monday (but not to the public) but would return to our offices and learn how to work remotely with clients. Uncertain workdays, adjusting to learning different computer processes and procedures were just enough to start terrible sleep onset issues. Took ambien again, the last 2 nights, it makes me feel like a failure, but I know I should not be so hard on myself. I”m having difficulty just letting my mind drift off. The next two days I’m working at an office that’s only 1 1/4 miles from my home, so if the weather’s nice I’ll walk to and from work, and practice some mindfulness while walking, that will feel good. Hoping we all adjust soon and reduce our anxieties.

[Steve]

Don’t feel like a failure for taking the Ambien gsdmom. Sometimes it’s what we have to do. Just try to get back on the ACT program as soon as you can. It’s tough having to go in after thinking you were going to have a while off. I think it will hit me hard on the day I have to go back in. I know if I feel bad at home I can pace myself but having a bad day at work is much rougher. Hang in there. We are here for you.

[Mac0908]

I agree with Steve, there is no shame at all in having to take an Ambien in a stressful state due to your job having to reopen. Just curious your job being closed was due to Covid?

Speaking of that, I’ve finally began to reap the benefits of working from home starting Tuesday night with a solid night of sleep. I felt pretty good yesterday and close to the same today. I expect this to continue and likely even get better. Make no mistake about it though once they call us back to the office I know a minor relapse will be possible. But I’ll just have to accept it and continue trying to improve from there.

[Deb]

Glad you’re finally sleeping better, Mac! My sleep is back to normal too.

[gsdmom]

Thanks for your support and kind words. Regarding my job, last week we were shut down Friday and thought there would be a couple week break due to state and governor’s orders regarding coronavirus. Then Sunday, got a call to show up for work on Monday. No customer contact, we are staggered at our desks at work and now limit the number of staff in the office. So far, at least for this week I am working full time, the good news is that the latest I am working is 6pm instead of 9-9:30pm.

Back to my sleep – 3rd night in a row no Ambien, hope this keeps up. 1st night I couldn’t settle and listened to a guided sleep meditation about 12am. They don’t make me sleep but at least get into a relaxed, accepting state. Slept form 2am-7am. 2nd night the same thing, but slept from 1am-7am, and last night was able to fall asleep on my own after about an hour, maybe 11pm. Probably would have slept a good 8 hours, but I have a large Siamese cat, about 15lbs that insisted he get cuddled and massaged 3x last night, He has that Siamese howl and will take his paw and tap my face persistently until I do so. It doesn’t happen that often, I think I probably got at least 6 hours of sleep. Extended light sleep stages still an issue, and I’m wishing there was more medical literature on how long the nervous system and brain takes to heal from this.

[Steve]

gsdmom – Glad you were able to cut back on the Ambien. I am curious, when you get that 6 or 7 hours of sleep, do you have any wake-ups in there? I know what you mean about the cat. That’s why when I got my two new cats, I shut the bedroom door at night so they can’t wake me up. I need as much sleep as I can get. That wouldn’t have worked with my old cats as they were used to being in the bedroom with me. But I had to do this with the new ones.

[gsdmom]

Hi Steve – as far as wake ups go – yes I do have them. I’ve read the typical sleep cycle lasts 90-120 minutes and I feel like when I do wake its the transition from the REM dreaming stage back into the first light sleep stage. If I can sleep 7-8 hours, I might wake about 3 times. Right now my biggest challenge seems to be getting into that deep sleep (stage 3) in the beginning of the night, as if I’m just lingering in stage 1 and/or 2, then I become wide awake and have a difficult time settling down again. Like last night, I finally settled into a good sleep between 2:30am-5:30am. I only work half a day today, so I think I will get through it OK. As far as the cats and dog go, in the future if I ever get new pets, I will take your suggestion and keep the bedroom door closed from the time they come home with me, so that will be their normal.

[Steve]

gsdmom – Hopefully you will have cured your insomnia by the time you get new pets. Stay safe – Stay well.

[Mac0908]

Had a terrible night. My first in about a week since working from home. Things improved as the week went on last week butI guess some anxiety crept back in last night knowing that it was back to work today, even though I’m home. Still didn’t expect it to be as bad as it was. Really just pissed off at this point. It’s bad enough that i’m basically quarantined at home all by myself, but now I can’t even enjoy that.

One thing I have been getting into the habit of doing which I know is wrong, but, at the end of the day this is “ACT” and you’re supposed to just let go of everything, is looking at my phone a good bit while in bed before I crash. Last night I did so for a good 10-15 minutes before finally putting it down. Then I had some trouble nodding off, tossing and turning for a while before finally falling asleep. Who knows, maybe the phone wired my brain up and affected things. But 10-15 minutes of use to cause a horrific night of sleep? I just don’t know.

[Deb]

Sorry you had a bad night, Mac. I don’t think it was the phone. Hope it gets better again soon.

[gsdmom]

Mac – Sorry you had such a frustrating night! I know it is recommended in general to avoid watching screens about an hour before bed, but on the other hand you probably want to return to acting like a “normal” sleeper. Is there anything about your job that is causing hidden anxiety other than waking early? I had sleep issues about 12 years ago when I was studying and being an intern in the medical profession. The nights before I had to go to a clinic or hospital I had insomnia. I know it was normal to feel anxiety, and other students occasionally had insomnia or panic attacks. I felt unprepared and abandoned and unsupported in this environment. I also had resentment towards my instructor. The days we were supposed to do hands-on care with patients, my instructor seemed like she was hiding in an empty room planning her daughter’s wedding, instead of working one on one with us. And it was clear that some medical staff really resented having a student follow them for a day and so I learned very little. About 20% of the time, I was lucky to have a mentor that loved to teach and share knowledge and it was a great day, but I never knew when that would happen so the unknowing of how my day would go created anxiety. My expectations of my learning experience were much higher than the reality of what was actually happening. I was in constant conflict of whether to quit the program or tough it out thinking it would get better (it didn’t). I know this is a long story, but wondering if there are some deeper issues with your job, you could identify them, then work them out or just at least acknowledge and accept them? I wish I was able to have better insight during that time, and then I might have handled it better and slept better.

[Author]

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