[sleepaidaustralia]

I am at my wits end, and I need to know if this is normal – a special case – and if anyone has actually recovered? My life is falling to pieces, and I am at my wits end (and losing hope).

I stopped sleeping in September 2023. I believe this was driven by a significant work deadline, going on a date, and general stress (I’d consider myself to live in a fight or flight state). Unlike many other bouts of short term ‘insomnia’ after 4 days, I was still unable to sleep. At this stage, I became conscious that I was not sleeping, and thus the start of 7 months of insomnia.

I want to preface this by saying – I don’t sleep, at all. I know many say I probably sleep more than I think, I don’t, I have been filmed, my partner can attest, that I don’t sleep. I toss and turn all night, from the minute I go to bed, to the minute I wake up.

I have tried all remedies, CBT-I, sleep restriction, zopiclone (I took this for circa 12 weeks, it works, most days, but I still felt exhausted and in a daze), medically prescribed marijuana, magnesium, GABBA, melatonin, meditation, strenuous exercise, herbal mushrooms, mindfulness practices, anti anxiety medication and so on. Nothing worked.

I ended up having to quit my job as I couldn’t perform, and took a sabbatical to Indonesia. Even now, abroad, I can’t sleep. I have no worries, stress, anxiety, but still can’t sleep. I am constantly in a daze, I haven’t slept one night in 7 months. I have done sleep restriction multiple times (and currently doing it) to no avail. Even after surfing for hours, 10k steps, meditation, reading, sleep restriction, and as exhausted as I feel – I still can’t sleep.

I have hyping jerks that if I d ever doze off, they wake me up within as instant. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to fall asleep and am consciously aware of falling asleep, that my fight or flight response stops me from falling to sleep.

Moreover, if I do get any form of ‘rest’ – it’s a trance like lucid state. It’s very detailed and often terrorising dreams, that leave me with a migraine as soon as I wake up (I would wake up in the dream, never slowly returning). I don’t get deep sleep, the only form of ‘sleep’ if any (and rarely) is the above.

I see a therapist, have Greta family support, financially secure, and travelling the world, and it won’t get any better.

I feel so physically and mentally drained, but that doesn’t translate into sleep.

I have lost my memory, vocabulary, ability to hold down a conversation – it’s destroying my life.

I have followed the insomnia coach program, and others, to no avail.

Has anyone had anything similar? I have all three forms of insomnia too – falling asleep, and again asleep.

[hiker]

Hi sleepaidaustralia, you are really going through it, no doubt.

I don’t know how long you have been seeing your therapist, or anything about their qualifications. Perhaps you haven’t been going very long; or you have and the sessions are easy but ineffective; or?

I don’t think it is physically possible go seven months without any sleep, but in any event, you are clearly not getting very much.

I wonder if taking Martin’s course would help. As it progresses, it focuses more on how thoughts and emotions can drive insomnia, and on how to live full lives even when we don’t get as much sleep as we’d like.

You know by now there is no surefire cure for great sleep for the rest of your life, but the course might be worth a try. (I am not getting anything for suggesting this.)

[donaldcoomer28]

I completely understand what you’re saying. When you feel as though no one else can relate to your experience, insomnia can be quite isolating. You’re not alone, though, I promise. Even though it doesn’t often feel like it, there are a ton of people out there going through the same difficulties. Sometimes all it takes to locate them is a little bit of searching.

Numerous online communities exist specifically for sleep-related problems, where you can talk about your experiences and obtain guidance from others who have been there. You’ll probably meet someone who understands your insomniac state sooner than you might expect, even though it might take some time. Stay strong and don’t be afraid to ask for help…

[hiker]

I agree with donaldcoomer28.

Perhaps one of the nastiest features of chronic insomnia is the feeling of isolation. I know I have felt that no one can possibly understand. Sometimes I also feel that no one cares, that they think I should just get over it, that I am damaged, maybe beyond hope……eventually, I realize that while these feelings are powerful, they are not true. That it’s just the insomnia talking.

[Author]

Posts