[Meherman]

How to liberate myself from extreme anxiety and fear after 1 sleeplesss night.I just can’t resist crying my eyes out if I cant sleep because I have to study and its very difficult with sleepless nights.I know thinking too much about sleep is problem in my case but how to overcome this fear which is making me hyperaroused as soon as I try to sleep in my bed ?

[Scott]

Hey @Meherman! I wouldn’t beat yourself up just because you’ve had one tough night of sleep. And remember, just because you’ve had one difficult night, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to sleep tonight. When you start to worry about sleep, what is going through your mind and how do you manage those thoughts?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Meherman]

Feeling sleepy but not able to fell asleep triggers anxiety.I want to leave bed and run away from it.How can I sleep if I am hyperaroused in bed due to linked anxiety with it?

[Scott]

You’re absolutely right – being awake and anxious in bed can lead the brain to link the bed with alertness, triggering a conditioned state of arousal. This heightened state may trick the mind into perceiving a threat, thus activating the fight or flight response and reducing the likelihood of falling asleep. Rather than remaining in bed feeling frustrated, consider getting up and engage in a pleasurable activity such as watching TV, listening to a podcast, or reading a book. This approach can help train the brain to understand that wakefulness poses no threat, and it’s best to return to bed only when you feel very sleepy. It may not resolve the issue straight away, but it’s a technique that can prove beneficial if you consistently practice it.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Rosanne]

Dear Meherman: I can relate to how you are feeling. I too had sleep anxiety for many years and can still remember the awful feeling of hyperarousal when going to bed or even thinking about bed. It’s an awful feeling. Scott has offered some very sound advice, it takes a long time to retrain the brain that night-time wakefulness is not a threat. I used to get up and watch TV but since completing the course, I get up and read for a while, and return to bed when sleepy. Night time wakefulness still occurs, but most of the time I fall back to sleep or use some of the strategies that I learned in Martin’s course. Have faith that your sleep can improve, as well as your quality of life, but it will take time and effort. I wish you the best.

[hiker]

Hi Meherman, I agree with Scott and Rosanne, but I will add my own experience from last night’s poor sleep. This will be lengthy and may come across as disorganized and self-absorbed. Because I am not going to edit it very much. And after a poor night’s sleep, like most people, I am not organized and concise. Maybe this window into sleep anxiety will help.

I woke up with post-surgical pain. Hey, it won’t last forever. I will get over it, but right now I can’t sleep. How am I supposed to get through the day? Sure the surgery pain will go away, but what if this is a return to all those nights when I used to sleep badly? I can’t deal with this anymore. I can get up and practice reading sheet music for singing, or read, or stretch, but what’s the point, I just want to sleep and I can’t and I don’t know when I will be able to, if ever……

The above goes through my head in a flash, and I can stay there and think it over and over. And why not? It’s the way I feel, and not being able to sleep is so bad, and I just can’t deal with this……

And then I recall that I have had early mornings like this before, and I can stand back a little bit and sit and then I watch my mind sort of like watching TV. And thoughts of how bad this is are going through my head, whizzing through but some are slowing down, and I can see them passing through. They are not real fun thoughts and emotions, all about how insomnia has been a nasty part of my life and here it is again… and I can see that I can dive into these thoughts, sort of live in them and agree with them. Or I can stay back here and just watch them pass by. And I realize that I don’t have to hop on. And instead I reach for my cup of coffee and I sip it, and then I put it down.

And here comes another thought. I have learned I cannot control whatever thought just pops into my head, but I have learned I don’t have to dive into it and live in it. Anyway, the thought is that what if I don’t sleep well tonight, or the night after that. And then that I would not like that. And then well, I can’t really control that, any more than I can control the weather. And then I notice how quiet it is right now. I just heard the refrigerator fan turn on, don’t usually notice that, I guess. Oh, where was I …..a bunch of other thoughts went through my head, can’t remember them all, something about watching basketball later maybe.
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Okay, I don’t know if the above is just nonsense to you, or maybe you can see it as an illustration of how anything and everything can pop up as a thought. And how you can just observe them or buy into them. And believe me, I know how easy it is to get sucked into the dark rabbit hole when you really want to sleep and can’t and everything can seem hopeless. And then somebody tells you, hey, they are just thoughts, cliches like that.

The fact remains, however, that just because a thought or emotion is incredibly powerful, it’s indeed just a thought or emotion.

Example: I feel very, very strongly that I will not sleep well tonight, or the next night, and that I am on the road to a lifetime of insomnia and misery. I feel this so strongly that it is therefore true.

Answer: You feel it very, very strongly. But that doesn’t make it true.

[Author]

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