[larana]

I’ve been trying to do CBTi for a while, but got waylaid by a vacation. I had a stretch of 4-5 nights where I fell asleep without meds, for the first time in 4 months! So my therapist and I decided that I would no longer use meds as a back-up safety net (i.e., if I can’t fall asleep, I will get out of bed; previously I would take medication if I was still awake after an hour). The first night I got no sleep. I kept reminding myself throughout the day that this would create more sleep drive/pressure, that I’ve always slept better after a night of no sleep, etc. I had difficulty staying awake last night while watching TV and reading. I was elated to actually feel sleepy, and even found myself nodding off, but made myself stay awake 10-15 minutes longer for my appointed bedtime. However, it ended up taking me about 2+ hours to fall asleep–and then I woke up after only a few hours, well before my 5:15 alarm. So I have 2 questions:

1. looking for success stories from other people who initially had back-to-back nights of little or no sleep and saw improvement from there (I’ve read all the ones on this website). Honestly, these were the worst 2 back-to-back nights of sleep in my life.

2. reading in bed: I know this is a big no-no in most versions of CBTi, but it made me mad that if I had been bed reading, I could have just turned out the light and probably fallen sleep, only a few minutes before my bedtime. Instead, I gutted it out and had to get up, move to my room, get in bed, etc. and as a result, I didn’t catch the sleep wave when it appeared! I felt like I was following the letter rather than the spirit of the law. If reading in bed helps make you sleepy, then why is it a bad thing? Won’t that help your mind associate your bed with feeling sleepy and relaxed?

[Chee2308]

Hello!

Allow me to share my experience since It’s been more than a year after I finished the course and I’m happy to report that I’ve sleeping well despite breaking many cbt-i rules now such as going to bed at fixed times (I now allow myself a range), no naps allowed (I occasionally take afternoon naps), getting out of bed if unable to fall asleep (I refuse to get out because my bed is so warm and comfortable and I prefer to play with my phone while in bed instead).

My answers to your questions:
1. Setbacks are common! Please don’t let this put you off because doing cbt-i and having a regular bedtime helps realign your circadian rhythm and anchors your sleep-wake cycle. Just go on your day as normal after both good and bad nights. Bad nights after good ones are extremely common and is a sure sign everything is working fine because this means the accumulated sleep drive is getting reduced after sleeping well. Learn to trust your own body, then you will find you are much more likely to get sleepy by a certain time in the evening only if your sleep schedule is pretty consistent on a daily basis.

2. Yes, you can use your bed for anything fun! Although this is contrary to traditional cbt-i rules. So it doesn’t have to be reading in bed or anywhere else if you don’t enjoy it. And you don’t have to leave your bed either, it’s perfectly okay to stay and relax in bed, I do this all the time and always end up falling asleep. Trying to reestablish that loving connection with your bed is important. Ultimately sleep is something that can never be controlled by anyone or anything, even cbt-i because your body is in total control. Ultimately, the real objective is to be alright with being awake, be friends with wakefulness anytime and anywhere, which leads to leaving the struggle with insomnia behind and a path to inner peace and liberation. I think the ultimate objective is to break any connection between thoughts/actions to sleep and achieve neutrality where you stop obessesing about sleep and stop making groundless and baseless connections between your actions or thoughts to sleep.

I hope you find this useful and good luck!

[Angeli]

Hi Larana!

Allow me to answer your second question. The intention is what counts. If your intention to read in bed is to help you fall asleep faster or make it easier to fall asleep, it won’t work. Everything I do with the intention of aiding my sleep will backfire on me. Reading in bed will therefore be like shooting yourself in the foot. After going through the CBTi techniques and having the help of this wonderful forum, nowadays I do read in bed. I love doing this on a cold, rainy day. Get under the covers reading. But the intention is just to enjoy a good book listening to the noise of the rain. My mind reads my intentions. That’s why even a relaxing bath, if it’s to help you sleep better, can turn into a tragedy. A whole sleepless night because of a simple shower, or relaxing music… Zero interference is what helps sleep. Cheering for you. (sorry for english)

[dbaldino]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am going to try and be more patient with CBTI. I also found that getting out of bed made it worse for me. I like my bed and don’t mind staying in it even if I am awake. My chances of going back to sleep are better if I stay in bed and relax. Sometimes I wonder if we doze off without even knowing it.

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