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I’m 25 and I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. It’s constantly present in the back of my mind and it ruins lots of things that I want to do. I love exercise, have a challenging job, and love going on holidays/traveling, however in the couple of nights before something I care about I get anxious thoughts about how I won’t enjoy the event/perform well if I don’t sleep before it. This can happen for a few days before something, so by the time the day arrives I may not have slept for days. In terms of holidays, I struggle so much to sleep in a new environment if there are even slight triggers such as noise, uncomfortable mattress or it’s too hot. The sleeplessness I can deal with, but the anxiety surrounding not sleeping and the cycle of one bad night leading to another is honestly awful. I can sometimes go to bed and just not fall properly asleep. I was on Mirtazapine for 2.5 years which helped but I couldn’t stay on it forever. I’ve had CBT so I know that anxiety causes me not to sleep, but I find the anxiety impossible to control.
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