[WeddingFilmmaker]

Hey folks,
Around 3ish years ago, I suffered from pretty bad insomnia. This began because I was trying to share a bed with a romantic partner for an extended period of time, around 2 weeks. I wasn’t getting much sleep at all at this point. That romantic partnership ended but the insomnia lasted around for 2ish more years but with good sleep hygiene went away.

Recently started seeing someone else, and it’s in the very early stages, just getting to know them, but it automatically triggered severe anxiety that’s manifesting in insomnia. Having racing thoughts about if I don’t sleep I won’t be as present and as good of a person to be around and that this will destroy this new relationship. Heavy stuff!

Trying to practice positive self talk and to adapt the insomnia coach acceptance mindset that sleep is just sleep, it is not an all defining thing and it will come when it comes. Hoping to create a strict sleep window as well.

If folks have any advice on handling new relationship anxiety and it turning into insomnia / insomnia anxiety, let me know.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum!

It makes complete sense that your mind would generate all those thoughts and feelings — it’s doing its job of looking out for you. Your experience three years ago was tough. Your brain is trying to protect you from that.

If we see those (often difficult) thoughts and feelings as the enemy or an obstacle to sleep, we might be more likely to try fighting them. Then, before we know it, we are engaged in a battle with our mind. And, how likely is sleep to happen when we are engaged in a battle?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[hiker]

Hi Wedding Filmmaker, your experience reminds me of when I had ongoing insomnia and figured it was affecting my work performance. I told no one and slogged on as best I could. In retrospect, I think my colleagues would have cut me slack; and if not and I had gotten fired, that I would have landed on my feet one way or another.

I am wondering if you are thinking any partner would reject you because of your insomnia; that you must have a lot of problems, too much for them to deal with. When actually a partner of real value would stick it out with you.

If this seems too far afield from insomnia, I am suggesting maybe it’s what is driving the insomnia in the first place.

I found insomnia could lead to feeling isolated and dark. It took years before I realized it was the insomnia talking, that it is hard to think straight when you’re exhausted, and not to put a whole lot of stock in the thoughts which pop up in those times.

I hope you don’t take years to figure this out, like I did. And also that you will stick with the forum, check out Martin’s materials, and read other posts. You are not alone in this.

[Author]

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